I woke up at 9AM on Saturday having only had about 4 and a half hours sleep after going on the lash and clubbing the previous night. I didn't feel particularly hungover but I had to wake up to the WRATH of my father after I managed to comically break the computer chair in the early hours of the morning after I somehow fell sidewards on it. Luckily we still had one spare and I think he managed to see the funny side of it. Sorry Dad!
Also in attendance was Uncle John who would provide most of the entertainment of the day with his extremely drunken antics.
We walked up to the Working Men's Club around half 11, meeting Fish en route. Once there Fish tried to order a can of coke to which John intervened and said he's not associating himself with poofs drinking fizzy drinks. So he bought a round in for us and offered to subsidise any pint that Fish would buy with 50 pence, despite the fact that Fish did not feel like drinking.
We only stayed in there for the one but in that time George the barman managed to tell us an interesting tale regarding his antics the previous night. He reckons that he was shagging some girl down an alleyway and a car-load of people in a taxi caught sight of him. His natural reaction was to wave at the people whilst they were cheering at him. For those of you who don't know George, he shags anything with a pulse despite being handicapped with the fact he is ginger.
We walked down to the Endeavour soon after to discover the only Dover fan there in attendance was the the loved but old and senile Eadesy, who incorrectly told me that Tony Dixon was a midfielder in regards to the top 100 players thread on the forum. Bless him.
During the hour and a half spell in the pub I only manged to drink two pints of Stella as the effects from the previous night were obviously still reeling. The pub did manage to fill up with fellow Dovorians eventually including the legendary Chris Hunt who was suffering with his arm in a slink having had an operation during the week. The poor fella is worried about not being able to hold his baby that he is due to arrive this week. Good luck, Hunty.
After lots of in-depth conversations with fellow Dover fans about fuck all I walked up to the ground with a few others about 2PM, in order to have a pint before the game. I really struggled to digest the watered-down fosters upon arrival in the very sparsely populated Centre Spot. Its a shame to see the bar so empty and un-atmospheric on a match day only about half an hour before kick-off. I miss that real excitement factor that we used to have before home games.
Instead our only entertainment stemmed from trying to figure out who's missus this really trashy blonde wag who was walking round like she owned the place belonged to. As we found out after the game, It was Glen Southam's. What a great Essex pair they are!
I wandered out of the Centre Spot about 5 minutes prior to kick-off, having only consumed four pints during the day which meant that I was in my most sober state of the season. Woohoo! Once I saw all the others huddled outside the Club shop I asked them why they weren't walking round to the town end as we always kick-off towards that way then proceeded to call them all twats and walked around. Rather amusingly and humilatingly the teams came out and we lined up to kick off towards the River-End, which is apparently what Forster wants us to do from now on. Cue laughter and piss-taking as they caught me taking the walk of shame around the ground.
It was nice to watch a game where I could have full recollection of the going-ons of the ons and offs of the pitch. Overall it was a fairly entertaining game.
The in-form Donovan Simmonds and James Walker rightly came into the side at the expense of Billy Bricknell and George Purcell, the former who didn't even make the bench due to apparent illness. The much maligned Barry Cogan also came into the side and justified his starting place with one of his best performances for the club.
Thurrock had the early pressure in the game and Tom Wynter had to make a good block after an opening. Then soon after down the other end we should have had a penalty when Leon Redwood was clipped inside the box. He was definetly caught but I think the referee was unconvinced as he went down late. If you think he hasn't been caught then why not book him for diving? That would set a precedent of terrible officiating throughout the game as they should have been reduced to ten men soon after. Simmonds got the better of their man from a long ball and their defender pulled him back as he raced through on goal. A clear goal-scoring opportunity denied but the referee only saw fit to book him for some bizarre reason. The referee was awful throughout though, punishing any physical contact with free-kicks.
Simmonds and Walker linked up very well throughout and the latter particularly impressed me with his hold-up play. But it was the immence Donovan who would open up the scoring as we approached half-time with a rather stupendous lob. He raced down the left and cut inside one of their defenders, before lifting the ball over the head of the keeper from a tight angle. It was a tremedous goal and looked very much like a flukey cross but either way we'll take that! It also continued this seasons tradition of us scoring when everyone has fucked off to the bar early .
And only two minutes later we would double our lead when Walker netted from the spot. After Cogan lifted a ball into the box, their defender stupidly and needlessly decided to clearly shove Southam in the back when there was little pressure on. Cast-iron penalty, no complaints.
Walker's spot-kick went in courtesy of the post, which left many of us thinking for a half-a-second that he had missed!
Immedietly after the break we should have extended our lead in further when Simmonds went throught on goal. Instead of squaring to the unmarked Cogan he selfishly went for glory and his effort was well saved by the Thurrock goalkeeper Craig Holloway. Holloway did extremely well in keeping the scoreline down including an absolutely fantastic save from an Olly Schulz header, but our own Ruiz matched his efforts with a fine stop from a long-range Thurrock strike.
We did enventually manage to add a third goal with about 20 minutes remaining. Agustin Battipedi, who was absolutely fantastic, managed to find space in the box before squaring to Leon Redwood, who saw his shot saved. Luckily Simmo was on hand to crash in the rebound.
Dissapointingly we condeded a Thurrock consolation late on when they scored a free-header from a good cross in our only defensive lapse of the game. Forster wasn't particularly happy but luckily the points were safe. We still drove forward and should of added a fourth. Late substitute Harry Baker had a shot saved and George Purcell had a shot superbly blocked off the line after some suberb work from Simmonds down the right flank. But the game finished 3-1 in a comfortable win for Dover in a much-improved display with some superb individual performances from the likes of Wynter, Simmonds, Cogan and Battipedia, who very much looked like the creative midfielder we've been crying out for. Southam worked very tirelessly in midfield while Redwood caused lots of problems down the left before running out of steam. Theres still a lot of work to be done but we look a lot more efficient all over the pitch, particularly in the midfield.
The crowd was a fairly dissapointing 793, which included 10 Thurrock visitors and a lot more youngsters, which was refreshing to see. (Insert unfunny generic paedophile joke here).
Atmosphere wise we were shocking. Barely a peep out of us all game until a brief spell of noise after our third goal. I have no idea why, but the people around us who usually sing just were not bothering and the few times we did break out it was just like fighting a lost cause. We really need to get Crabble rocking again particularly with a massive FA cup game against Bath coming up on Saturday. It was horrible to see Crabble like such a morgue with us playing well. When you're a youngster one of the things that makes you enjoy the experience is the singing and the atmosphere and with many of them coming on freebies we need them to get hooked. Maybe its just me, but when I first started going up Crabble I used to always hope that there would be an atmosphere.
One of our funniest moments of the season came in the first half though. The mischievious Mark Forest decided to go up to the announcement hut and say that he was looking for his friend. Cue an announcement on the tannoy, "Could a Phil McCory please make their way to the announcement hut, thank you".
Thus people on the river end began pissing themselves with laughter. I've never heard that one before so it made me giggle. For those of you whippersnappers that do not understand, 'Cory' is a term for a penis. Sorry if that sounds partonising buy poor Dover Dave and a few others were completely whooshed by it.
Lee Hook in particular found it amusing. After the game in the bar he kept on asking everyone if they had seen a Phil McCory anywhere. I never realised what a joker and all round legend Hooky is until recently. He's funny as fuck.
As soon as any player enters the bar he starts cheering and shouting their name before any Dover fans do. Then when Chris Collings was interviewing Purcell for a profile in the programme he shouting saying "Ooooh football fwend" and "Peado Kennedy" at him, which any of you Inbetweener fans will be familar with. He's certainly one of the characters in the dressing room, thats for sure.
We stayed for an hour and a half in the centre spot and it was rather entertaining. At one point our suave manager was being lectured by some senile old pisshead, of whom i've forgotten his name. Nicky struggled to prevent his laughter while we were all pissing ourselves. Elsewhere the talismanic Simmonds nodded and winked at me while I was ordering at the bar, which strangely gave me a semi. Then me and Fish began chuckling amongst ourselves as I pointed out that the two tables of Dover players was divided by the black players on one table with the others on the other table. Racial Divide? No not the case, its just that the other table was overcrowded.
After that a few of us headed down to the Cricketers for a jar of lager in a very subdued post-match crawl. We watched the Liverpool v Norwich game while I physically struggled to drink my over-priced Carlsberg. That would be my second last pint of the evening before drinking one in the Bull, which for the first time ever I was unable to finish my pint. In there we saw my uncle John once again, who had dissapeared on his own and ended up in the Three Cups on his lonesome. John was absolutely hammered even by his standards and was amusingly very boilsterous (spelling? my spelling is shit, I know).
After a quick stop off in the Endeavour a few of us headed back to mine for a few leaving drinks for my sister, who has departed for a new life in Aberdeen as of today. I basically ate some of the food they cooked and then cotched myself on the sofa with a duvet, as I was feeling incredibly shite at this point. My attempts to get to sleep would be continiously interrupted by John who repeatedly tried forcing me in joining him down the pub. He eventually got the message, and somehow managed to take me home in the morning despite the horrendous physical state he was in several hours earlier. Thanks John.
So today we find ourselves playing Bromley at Hayes Lane, which shall be my fifth visit there I think. Me and Adrian are catching the train to arrive in time for 5 hours of pre-match drinking time, so there is a slight possibility I may be hammered and may only remember snippets of the night.
As for the football, hopefully we can continue our momentum against a Bromley side who seem destined for a mid-table finish. With Bath coming up on Saturday we need to maintain our good form going into it so lets pray for 3 points this evening. Fingers crossed.
| aturday 22 Oct 2011 | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dartford | 1 | - | 2 | Truro City | |
 Bonner (78) Goodacre (07 og ) |
Watkins (05) |
 1,238 |
|||
| Dorchester | 0 | - | 1 | Boreham Wood | |
| Bryant (37) |
443 |
||||
| Dover | 3 | - | 1 | Thurrock | |
Simmonds (42) Walker (45) Simmonds (70) |
Osbourne (89) |
793 |
|||
| Eastleigh | 3 | - | 0 | Welling | |
| Green (30) Gillespie (81) Montgomery (83) |
391 |
||||
| Farnborough | 0 | - | 3 | Sutton Utd | |
| (46) (80) (82) |
603 |
||||
| Hampton & Richmond | 3 | - | 3 | Havant and W | |
| Collier (51) (59) Tarpey (91) |
Jones (32) Peacock (04) Jones (60) |
475 |
|||
| Maidenhead Utd | 3 | - | 3 | Bromley | |
| Brown (25) Powell (03) Thomas (67) |
McKenzie (02) McBean (74) Araba (80) |
405 |
|||
| Salisbury | 0 | - | 1 | Chelmsford | |
| Tann (91) |
763 |
||||
| Staines Town | 0 | - | 1 | Woking | |
| Hammond (27) |
1,019 |
||||
| Tonbridge Angels | 2 | - | 3 | Basingstoke | |
| Collin (54) Miles (90) |
McAuley (27) Smart (55) McAuley (85) |
579 |
|||
| Weston-S-Mare | 3 | - | 3 | Eastbourne Borough | |
| Kabba (13) Pepperell (62) Kabba (06) |
Johnson (39) Elphick (53) Rook (86) |
326 | |||
| Pos | Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  |
Woking | 14 | 10 | 3 | 1 | 32 | 12 | 20 | 33 |
| 2 | |
Welling United | 14 | 8 | 3 | 3 | 31 | 19 | 12 | 27 |
| 3 |  |
Sutton United | 13 | 8 | 3 | 2 | 24 | 14 | 10 | 27 |
| 4 | |
Dartford | 13 | 8 | 2 | 3 | 27 | 16 | 11 | 26 |
| 5 | |
Basingstoke Town | 13 | 7 | 4 | 2 | 27 | 17 | 10 | 25 |
| 6 | |
Chelmsford | 14 | 6 | 6 | 2 | 24 | 14 | 10 | 24 |
| 7 | |
Boreham Wood | 15 | 6 | 3 | 6 | 16 | 20 | -4 | 21 |
| 8 | |
Eastbourne Borough | 13 | 6 | 2 | 5 | 27 | 22 | 5 | 20 |
| 9 | |
Weston-S-Mare | 14 | 6 | 2 | 6 | 26 | 26 | 0 | 20 |
| 10 | |
Dover | 13 | 4 | 7 | 2 | 18 | 10 | 8 | 19 |
| 11 | |
Salisbury City | 13 | 5 | 4 | 4 | 19 | 15 | 4 | 19 |
| 12 | |
Truro City | 13 | 6 | 1 | 6 | 17 | 22 | -5 | 19 |
| 13 | |
Bromley | 13 | 5 | 3 | 5 | 23 | 25 | -2 | 18 |
| 14 | |
Maidenhead United | 15 | 5 | 3 | 7 | 20 | 29 | -9 | 18 |
| 15 | |
Tonbridge Angels | 13 | 4 | 3 | 6 | 24 | 27 | -3 | 15 |
| 16 | |
Dorchester | 14 | 5 | 0 | 9 | 17 | 24 | -7 | 15 |
| 17 | |
Eastleigh | 14 | 4 | 2 | 8 | 12 | 25 | -13 | 14 |
| 18 | |
Farnborough | 13 | 3 | 4 | 6 | 16 | 23 | -7 | 13 |
| 19 | |
Havant and Waterlooville | 13 | 3 | 3 | 7 | 21 | 25 | -4 | 12 |
| 20 | |
Staines Town | 13 | 2 | 3 | 8 | 13 | 18 | -5 | 9 |
| 21 | |
Thurrock | 13 | 2 | 3 | 8 | 11 | 31 | -20 | 9 |
| 22 | |
Hampton & Richmond | 13 | 1 | 4 | 8 | 15 | 26 | -11 | 7 |
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