Right, lets try again shall we? I think the problem with my previous troubles uploading was that I had attached too many youtube videos to the blog. So if you want to find the game highlights then I just suggest you get off your arse and do it yourself.
Anyway, where were we?.......
Dartford 3-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 3rd December)
Having just lost three games on the trot, we really could not have chose a worse time to play our oldcuntish Kentish
rivals at Princess Park, with our opponents enjoying a fine season and
brimmed full of confidence. And the disillusionment with our side was
evident with what was probably our poorest turnout yet at the ikea clad stadium.
Those of us that did show up had our fears of getting a pasting and repeat of THAT 4-0 defeat at the end of the 2010/11 season look like coming to fruition when we went 1-0 down very early courtesy of a penalty, which was clumsily given away by Olly Schulz.
But amazingly, our side showed some character and fought ourselves back into the game when Agustin Battiepedi headed in from a free-kick to send us into raptures. There were no further goals in the first half but our performance was very encouraging and it looked like we could take the game to them.
Sadly that never materialised and in the second half we faltered and looked totally devoid of any confidence. They re-took the lead with a well-drilled free kick deflecting past Ruiz, and then sealed the three points late on with Elliot Bradbrook scoring a fine wonder goal from 30 yards. When the ball hit the back of the net I sulked, FLOUNCED out of the stadium and made my way to their nearest pub, the IVY. The second-half performance was dismal and confirmed we could not hack it with the better sides in our division. Quite impressively, this would be our last league away defeat of the season, which makes our inability to even make the play offs even more spectacular.
Strangely though, this was surprisingly a decent day without the football taken into consideration. I had a few of my mates from Ebbsfleet come along for the day and cheer us on, while it was great to catch up with my good pal Grassbank too. It turned out to be quite a messy session, a welcome distraction from the reality of our season slipping away before even Christmas.
My only real down point is that the spark and hatred between us and the Darts has really slipped off the radar over the past few seasons and the nastiness that boiled over in the ryman league days seems to be behind us. As a football fan you want a team to despise but the honest reality and truth is that Dartford are a well-run club and one we can really learn a few things from. It pains me to say it but its true. Most of their fans seem alright and have been friendly when we've had a beer with them.
Now, can somebody pass me the sick bucket?
This
marked my first ever visit to Priory Lane and it turned out to be one
of the scenes of the biggest injustices of the season as we somehow left
Sussex with only a point.
It was a fairly enjoyable day out on the coach, made even better by the constant piss-taking of Martyn NOMORALS Mcgarrigle and with ex-Dover goalkeeper Kev Readings joining us for the day, who turned out to be a fucking nightmare. Their ground was pleasant enough and the bar was fantastic, IMO the best one in the league.
Sadly though our fantastic performance on the day, arguably our best of the season up until this point, somehow did not reap the reward of three points.
We completely dominated the first half and eventually took the lead with Michael Corcoron scoring his first of the campaign, a tap-in from a well delivered corner. But soon afterwards the cheating cunt of a referee decided to overrule the offside flag from the linesmen in their unjust equaliser. The referee ruled that the ball came off our player, even though he didn't intentionally play it backwards and the player was offside when the initial ball was played. It was disgraceful decision and nobody in the ground could believe it was allowed to stand.
Fortunately we continued to dominate the game but found that Clark Masters in goal for EBFC was equal to everything and made some blinding saves, including an amazing reflex stop from a close range Walker volley and he denied Dixon superbly in the second half.
But Dixon eventually headed in his first goal for the club from a fine cross just 12 minutes from time, finally giving us our rewards.
With just minutes left to play, Eastbourne equalised with another controversial goal, Gary Hart climbing over Wynter to power in a header and give the home side a very undeserved point.
It was a result that left us genuinely gutted an scratching our heads. We can blame the referee and Clark Masters as much as we like but the simple fact was we didn't put away enough of the various chances we created. And that cost us more than anything, ultimately.
With
our side in relatively decent form, it was very frustrating to have to
wait a fortnight until our next game thanks to Hampton & Richmond's
exploits in the FA Trophy. So our next game brought us a long trip to
Dorset against a much improved Dorchester side compared to the one we brushed aside with ease on the opening day.
This was another great away day with total carnage on the train up and throughout the day but sadly it wasn't capped off with a win after we threw away our late lead within an instant.
After a total non-event for 75 minutes of the game, Donovan Simmonds got on the end of a cross to give us a lead with about 8 minutes left to go. But while we were all still celebrating, a howler of a back-pass from Shane Huke allowed their striker to nip in and rescue a point. It was fucking gutting and annoying in equal measures, I would rather have just played out a dour goalless draw instead.
Thankfully a funny train trip still ensued, the highlight being taking our booze and food fuelled tesco trolley onto the train and Chris Hunt squishing tesco value ham right up my nostrils.
Dover Athletic 2-0 Welling United [Kent Senior Cup] (Tuesday 24th January 2012)
I rarely bother with the Kent Senior Cup, in fact this was my first appearance at one since a tie at Ebbsfleet in 2008. But I was glad I did bother for this as it turned out to be a very entertaining game at Crabble, with both sides featuring a mixture of a few first teamers and youth. It was quite surreal seeing my mate's brother Tom Axford featuring in our side and he gave a very good account of himself and was one of our standout youth players along with Tom Loynes and Lloyd Harrington. Harry Baker, making our last appearance for us before signing for our opponents, opened the scoring on the stroke of half-time with a long range deflected effort. Battiepedi sealed a semi-final tie away at Hythe with by putting away a penalty minutes from time.
And one thing I found really amusing from this game was the hilariously named Welling winger; Steadman Callender.
Dover Athletic 1-1 Salisbury City (Saturday 28th January 2012)
Dover Athletic 3-1 Truro City (Saturday 18th February 2012)
We had to wait an unbearable 3 weeks until our next DAFC fix thanks to a spell of disgusting weather. Our fixture at Hampton was already postponed due to the pesky bastard refusal to get knocked out of the trophy while Farnborough's San Cherrio stadium feel victim to the heavy snow a week later.
So Cornish side Truro were our next visitors and it was a great chance to rectify our slightly unjust defeat down at their place.
Revenge didn't look to be on the cards when they were awarded an early penalty for a slightly harsh handball decision, which they stepped up and converted. Thankfully George Purcell levelled the scores with a great finish on the turn and then we were awarded a dodgy penalty ourselves thanks to another soft handball decision. New signing Jemal Johnson stepped up and tucked it away, thus giving us the lead going into half-time.
We had to with-stand some strong pressure from the visitors in the second half but thankfully weathered the storm. Billy Bricknell came off of the bench to ease our worries and seal the win with a goal similar to George's deep into stoppage time.
So this was one of the better home games of the season and it was made much better by the company of the Truro fans that spent all day on the piss with us into the senior hours. One of their fans even travelled over from Italy and they all seemed really complimentary of our fine footballl club and town, which makes a nice change.
Dover Athletic 0-1 Welling United (Saturday 25th February 2012)
A visit from our old South London rivals would prove to be one of our biggest tests since Dartford away, with Welling firmly in contention to finish runners up at this point with even feint hopes of the title.
But it was a test we would fail quite miserably and we we never really got going in the entire contest. Welling were not that great themselves to be fair and their style of football was pretty ugly at times, but nobody could have too many complains when Jack Parkinson powered in a header about 10 minutes from full-time.
Somehow the referee awarded us a penalty in injury time when James Walker tripped over the ball but fortunately for the Welling fans, he cooly slotted it into Holloway's grateful clutches and so they claimed the bragging rights for this one with a rare victory over us.
As for myself that penalty miss cost me £50 when I rather humourously decided it would be a good idea to destroy my phone in frustration and smash it to smitherines because as you know, that always help the situation.
Hythe Town 3-0 Dover Athletic [Kent Senior Cup] (Tuesday 28th February 2012)
Oh dear. What a gutless, pathetic performance this was from our side, consisting mainly of first teamers. We got outfought, outplayed and outclassed by a tinpot side two divisions below us at their squalid shithole they call a ground.
Why get so wound up by a kent senior cup defeat? Well, as sad as it sounds, a cup final against Dartford or Charlton would have at least have been one positive from the season but our players really let us down on this evening at a game in which we turned out in numbers.
To make matters worse, ex Riverend idol Jimmy Dryden scored 2 of the goals against us in a performance which left us furious over a wasted evening out watching a side that clearly couldn't be arsed and didn't even want to play.
This game also prompted Donovans Simmonds twitter rant of 'Dover fans talk shit' because its ok to arrogantly swan around the pitch doing fuck all because he is the self proclaimed 'King Don'. Its a shame his attitude was so poor towards the end of the season because he was one of our players that had clear talent in abundance but half the time he couldn't be arsed to show it.
But we livened up in the final twenty minutes and found a winner on four minutes from time when subsitute Bricknell unmarked nodded in from a Barry Cogan cross to send us into raptures, one of the finest moments of the season after a long distance away day. This also kick-started a great run of form for Billy who began to rediscover his shooting boots.
This was also my first visit to the city and what a fine city it was too. The weather was great for the day, the jaigermeister flowed to and from the game and we enjoyed some fine real ales. It turned out to be a top, top away day.
I didn't make much of the ground, nor some of their thick west country carrot munching fans but its certainly one of the fixtures I am most looking forward to next season. Pubs galore!
Hampton & Richmond Borough 2-2 Dover Athletic (Tuesday 13th March 2012)
Its not every day that you walk away from a game where you have fought back from being 2 goals down to snatch a late draw absolutely furious with how you have played but that's how I felt after we somehow stole a point at 2nd bottom Hampton on this cold evening.
We deservedly found ourselves 2 goals down early on, including a wonderstrike by their Dean Inman. Against the run of play we equalised before half-time when Simpemba powerfully flicked a header beyond their keeper from a set-piece, which we really didn't deserve.
After a pathetically inept second half where Hampton could have score 4 or 5 goals were it not for some fine saves by Ruiz and some really wasteful finish, we somehow stole a point a couple of minutes before injury time when Bricknell tapped in after their goalkeeper made an absolute howler.
We laughed about it, more in shock than anything but that certainly papered over a lot of cracks. We deserved to lose 6-1!
All-in-all a very dissapointing evening. I went on the piss with Uncle John in London early doors and we met up with Grassbank for a few cheeky ales but I somehow remained boringly depressingly sober, which I could have done without. The highlight was getting back into the warmth in John's Milton Keynes house and finishing off a pack of bacon and sausages between us. That is how the Snell LADZ do it!
Eastleigh 2-3 Dover Athletic (Saturday 17th March 2012)
Away days were certainly the high point of last season and this one was fucking fantastic. Eastleigh may be a dive, their ground may be a dump and the only pub they have worth drinking in is a weatherspoons but we made the most out of the surroundings.
Mainly due to getting irresponsively wasted on Polish lager on the long train journey up, which included several drinking games. I've not got that drunk on a train since I was under-age in the ryman south era!
The game was fairly interesting aswell. We took the lead thanks to some non existant defending from a corner, where Billy Bricknell was grateful to tap in at the far empty post. And this sparked another few goals in quick succession. Poor defending by Huke *sigh* allowed them to nip in and equalise but we were laughing in histerics moments late, when Barry Cogan's long range free-kick somehow evaded every one and found the back of the net. "Did you not want to stop that one then keeper?" etc.
Bricknell made our leader safer minutes after half time when he emphatically finished off a one-on-one after a great ball through from Southam. They pulled one back with a header about 20 minutes from time from journeyman Lee Peacock and we were ultra relieved to here the final whistle because they really were piling on the pressure.
It was a great result and a blinding day, capped off by the wonderful moment where Martyn McGarrigle decided to get off of the train to walk up the platform to save time and quite brilliantly the train pulled off, leaving the morally corrupt speccy twat stranded in London. It was a sight that I will savour for ever!
Farnborough 0-2 Dover Athletic (Wednesday 21st March 2012)
Another enjoyable outing following DAFC on the road, this time as we collected our 14th point(s) out of a possible 18 with a comfortable win in Hampshire.
We took advantage of the free coach travel put on for us kindly by sponsor Nick Cunningham (I was planning on using the coach anyway so it was an added bonus) and so we took a healthy sized following to the San Cherrio, one of my favourite grounds in the division.
We only had to wait about 90 seconds to take the lead when Simpemba beautifully flicked a Cogan corner beyond their pint-sized keeper. I was still tying up my flag at this point so only caught a quick glance before it went in!
Thanks to a great run and cross by Simmonds, Bricknell was able to superb head home a diving header to give us a more comfortable cushion and from there onwards we comfortably saw the game out. Ruiz had to make an outstanding reflex save before half-time to preserve our lead but other than that they rarely threatened. As for ourselves, we spurned quite a few chances to fully kill the game off but fortunately we never needed to.
This evening was made even more funny by a group of local chavs pretending they were gangsters but they were so comically bad that they seemed like they were a parody.
Sadly, things went rapidly downhill from here onwards. I was sacked from my job the following day and as for Dover's fortunes....... not good.
Dover Athletic 0-4 Staines Town (Saturday 24th March 2012)
Urgh. Just even typing out that result makes me feel physically sick.
That's right, we got absolutely humiliated at home against that shitty tinpot outfit from Middlesex, who were in the relegation zone at the start of the day.
I don't even want to try bother reciting this game but it really does epitomise how up and down our season was. Just as we'd gone unbeaten on a really tough run of games we complete undid our hard work with this gutless half-arsed performance when a win really would have put us in pole position to nab that final play-off spot.
The story of our season.
Dover Athletic 0-1 Hampton & Richmond (Tuesday 27th March 2012)
And things just went from bad to worse just a few days later. Second bottom Hampton overturned us at Crabble in front of a pitiful crowd of just 525, meaning that various jokes at the fickle nature of our support were justifiyably made.
The scored the only goal of the game mid-way through the first half and after that they just sat back, defended and saw the game out with easy. We rarely even bothered threatening them though.
Another wrist-slashing inducing evening at Crabble where our season was crumbling away right in front of our very eyes.
Dover Athletic 0-2 Boreham Wood (Saturday 31st March 2012)
Our third home game on the spin brought no further luck either. The tinpot nobodies from Heartfordshire managed to pull off their third famous win against the Whites in just one season, certainly a tale that the five Boreham Wood fans will tell their granchildren in years to come.
On a serious note, they were a well-drilled side and again we barely threatened them. The result was never in doubt.
So in just one single week our whole season just totally collapsed in three winnable home fixtures. Zero goals scored, 7 conceded and about 2 shots on target in that period. And then people claim i'm fickle when I rightly get totally wound up over this dross. I know that our players are played very healthy wages as I've heard through the horses mouth exactly what some players are from. The performances in parts of the season were totally unnacceptable. I don't even think it was a lack of ability in some cases - some players have proved they can turn it on when they want. I'm not suggesting that players deliberately want to lose but you really got the impression that they didn't want it enough either.
The most gutting thing about this terrible week was that 6 points from them would have been enough to have got us into the play-offs.Not that we'd have been anything other than cannon fodder for Dartford, mind.
Tonbridge Angels 2-3 Dover Athletic (Saturday 7th April 2012)
After that horror run of results none of us were particularly looking forward to renewing acquaintances with our old chums from Longmead, particularly with them in great form and having various ex-Whites in their ranks eager to prove a point. So imagine our delight when our rivalry was renewed and a surprising thrilling victory came about - courtesy of a powering header by Shane Huke with just a minute of normal time to play. The moment he lept like a salmon and it hit the back of the onion back was without doubt the best moment of the season.
Prior to that it has been a very enjoyable, end-to-end game with plenty of action. The first half saw a goal glut with the whiney brats taking the lead after a really poorly defended corner. But we fought back into the game soon after when Terry Dixon tapped in after his initial header was stopped by Worgan. My delight at this goal was apparent, so much so that I ended up losing balance against the crush barrier before eventually falling onto the pitch in comical fashion!
Things soon got better when we were awarded a penalty after Bricknelldived
was taken out by Worgan through on goal. Our talismanic forward took
the spot kick himself to put us ahead and give us some much needed
delight.
Sadly our joy was short lived when Frannie Collin inevitably scored against us, also from 12 yards when Lloyd Harrington made a clumsy challenge on his debut. Gutting for the lad really because he had a fine debut with that excepted.
The second half only saw the net bulge once but there were plenty of chance for both sides. Terry Dixon notably missing a one-on-one and Tonbridge struck the bar from long range moments before Hukes surprising winner, leaving us in absolute pandemonium behind the goal and left scratching our heads why we seem capable when we're playing outside of our wonderful goal.
It was a great day on the piss too to match the fantastic game too. The rivalry was certainly renewed as they blubbed like bitches because we invaded their town, drunk their pubs dry and certainly left an impression. Sadly the legacy will probably be that we're banned by nearly every boozer for our next visit but we'll sort that out when it comes!
Dover Athletic 0-2 Sutton United (Monday 9th April 2012)
We wouldn't even have time to see off our post-Tonbridge hangovers off before the reality kicked in that we'd be back at Crabble, playing a Sutton side that had been nestled in a play-off berth for the vast majority of the season.
And fuck me would we be taught a lesson in the first half. I don't think they could believe their lucky over how much time they had in possession to teach us a footballing lesson. Both of their goals came in the first half with the pick of the two being a sweet acrobatic finish from a cross.
Meanwhile ourselves resorted back to our shitty aimless hoofball and Jemal Johnson had to be hauled off after half an hour because of his non-effort show.
The second half brought much improvement and we had various chances to get back into the game. We didn't take them though. The pick of the bunch was Terry Dixon sliding in to inexplicably hit his short over the bar while Robbie Edmans hit the post with a header late on.
Fair play to Sutton though, they deservedly made the play-offs with a much smaller playing budget than us and seem to play good football aswell. I like winding up their supporters on conference south forum but I have an element of respect for them, they travelled in decent numbers and were efficient vocally.
This game was a far cry from our last meeting at Crabble when we spanked them 6-0 to win the ryman premier title!
This was one of our more low-key away days with our season seemingly
over but the 6 of us that travelled up on the train enjoyed a few
lunchtime beers in Portsmouth, even if we managed to get a little bit
lost.
The game itself was quite a snooze-fests. The hosts, finding themselves deeply entrenched in a relegation battle and thus probably the only side to under achieve more than us, had the best of the early chances and Ruiz had to be at his best to deny them.
But loanee Robert Edmans netted his first goal for us with a simple header from close-range, with some terrible goalkeeping chucked in for good measure. I missed the goal because I was too busy trying to purchase chips. I know - ME EATING FOOD! WHO'D OF THOUGHT IT?!?!?! He also saw a perfect header ruled out on the stroke of half time because of a presumed sneeze inside the area.
The second half we were too busy fucking around, winding up their stewards and singing ironic songs to really pay attention to the ongoings on the pitch, but we manage to hold out for three points even after being reduced to 10 men after Corcoron's reckless lunge.
The most amazing part of this day though was finding out after the game we were still in with a shout of making the play-offs, thanks to Chelmsford bottling a 2-0 lead with 5 minutes to go with Salisbury somehow achieving a 3-2 win. So this welcoming news topped off another decent away day, although part of me was just really hoping to be put out of our misery.
Weston-Super-Mare 1-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 28th April 2012)
A pre-booked weekender in Bristol was the only reason why I was looking forward to this dead rubber game and we had a smashing weekend. I don't need to go into too much detail because that blog should still be fresh in the memory.
As for the football it was quite a boring game on a dissapointingly cold afternoon. Robbie Edmans gave us the lead after half-time with a smart finish but they equalised later on with a strong header from a set-piece. But I don't think anyone really gave a fuck about the outcome to be honest. For the pitiful following of about 40 away fans I think we were all just relieved that a dissapointing season was finally coming to an end and we can put it all behind us.
And besides, most of us were too hammered/singing ironic songs to even notice.
And there you have it chaps. My excruciatingly dull and long-winded
game by game review has finally come to an end. Thanks to any of you
that actually bothered to percevere and read through it all, but may I
also suggest that you get a life if you did.
I won't start talking about next season or the future because I'll wait until pre-season is fully underway before getting too over-excited or making an rash judgements. But I am feeling a tad more optimistic for the new campaign and excited after hearing our pre-season schedule, seeing our new kits and i'm fairly pleased with our recent additions to the squad.
And just to cap off a few general questions regarding the season just gone, i'll copy and paste my answers from the Dover forum to end this chapter.
1) Best Dover player - Not sure to be honest, theres certainly no standout winner and nobody has really been consistently great all season. I'd say its a toss up between Ruiz, Bricknell, Wynter or Simpemba though.
The best signing all together though has to be the re-opening of the Old Endeavour. Its great to have a great pre match pub back where the staff care for our custom. Most of the shite home games have been made bareable by our drinking sessions in there and the away fans seem to enjoy it too. I think nearly every single jollyboy will agree with me.
2) Worst Dover player - Not sure to be honest, theres quite a few contenders to be honest. How many pointless, ineffective loanees/short-term contracted players have we had? Green, Redwood, Battiepedi, Vassell etc. I think Jermaine Johnson has been the most dissapointing though, I was expecting big things out of him.
Starkey, Huke and Corcoron were three players who signed with decent pedigrees and were poor throughout most of the season. I'm puzzled that the latter two have been offered new deals.
3) Best game - Tonbridge 2-3 Dover - Superb end-to-end capped off with a towering late header from one of my least favourite Dover players. One of the few genuine memorable moments from this season.
Our 2-2 draw with Dartford early on was a very good game aswell with two cracking goals from us and a decent atmosphere too. One of the few genuinely entertaining games at Crabble this season.
4) Worst game - So many to choose from I could list several. I think going to Boreham Wood for the second time in a fortnight, mid-November and getting beaten 1-0 having not had a single shot all games takes some beating, especially after the horror show only a couple of weeks before that at the same ground.
Or coming off of the end of an unbeaten run of tough games only to lose 4-0 at home to Staines in a miserable gutless performance. But I kinda saw it coming.
5) Best away ground - Dorchester only need to widen their turnstiles and put a roof over the end of one of the goals and they'd have the best in the league. I do like Maidenhead aswell, very traditional and you can drink on the terraces, always a bonus.
6) Worst away ground - Boring Wood and Staines. Horrible, depressing places to watch football yet i've still been to both several times. One of the few away games that I never look forward to.
7) Best team to come to Crabble - Woking ripped us to shreds and looked like worthwhile champions. It didn't help that we didn't bother turning up and Ruiz had a rare stinker but credit to Woking, they were very good.
8) Worst team to come to Crabble - Bromley were atrocious and we ripped them to shreds. I think they're lucky to have beaten the drop.
Away from home Staines were pretty dire. We controlled the game with such ease and they barely got the ball out of their own half. Probably helped they had le Clown Zepherin in goal too.
9) Best fans to come to Crabble - Away followings have generally been very poor. Sutton were very vocal but sounded like drowning alcoholics. Dartford took a good following and there was some good back and forth. Truro fans were top notch and had a great session with us, as did the Maidenhead boys.
10) Worst fans to come to Crabble - Tonbridge for their big cup final didn't turn up in numbers or make much noise. It didn't help that the derby was scheduled so early in the season and only a few days after we had played Dartford midweek though to be fair.
11) Best goal - Most of our better goals came in the opening month of the season. My favourites were Harry Baker's half volley away at Thurrock and Purcell's 35 yard thunderbolt later in the same game. Shame they were never caught on camera.
12) Funniest moment - I'll agree that Martyn's face as the train pulled away at Waterloo being one of the most memorable images ever but I think our away day misdemeanour's are a bit irrelevant in terms of DAFC?
Maidenhead's conga around the ground was great as was me losing balance for about 10 seconds before eventually falling onto the pitch at Tonbridge when we equalized.
13) Best Opposition player - Jon Wallis is an obvious choice and it broke my heart to see him flourishing in a Dartford shirt. But Jack King from Woking really did look mustard and certainly the sort of player we could have done with dominating our midfield. Strangely, Woking fans seem to think he's not as good as their other options but the interest of Preston North End would suggest he's perhaps capable of playing in the football league.
14) Worst Opposition player - There have been some really terrible goalkeepers in this league and I thought other than the obvious choice of DJZ, Maidenhead's Sam Beasant was awful and clearly carving a career off the back of his fathers surname.
15) Rating this season out of 10 - 5.5. In the grand scheme of things, a 7th placed finish and sustained push for the play-offs wouldn't be a bad return for most sides. But considering we went all out for a title challenge, we have massively underachieved and things have been bad on and off the field. Dwindling attendances, breaking relationship between the board and the fans and a lack of entertainment throughout the season. Hayes was never going to be the man to lead us to promotion but have we appointed the right man to replace him? Only time can tell. Improvements have been ever so slight, but not significant enough. I'm prepared to give Forster the summer to build his own side and will back him but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any concerns and that he hasn't proved anything yet.
Its certainly a season I'll remember more for antics off the field rather than on it, for example our weekends spent in Newquay/Bristol for Truro/Weston respectively.
Anyway, where were we?.......
Dartford 3-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 3rd December)
Having just lost three games on the trot, we really could not have chose a worse time to play our old
Those of us that did show up had our fears of getting a pasting and repeat of THAT 4-0 defeat at the end of the 2010/11 season look like coming to fruition when we went 1-0 down very early courtesy of a penalty, which was clumsily given away by Olly Schulz.
But amazingly, our side showed some character and fought ourselves back into the game when Agustin Battiepedi headed in from a free-kick to send us into raptures. There were no further goals in the first half but our performance was very encouraging and it looked like we could take the game to them.
Sadly that never materialised and in the second half we faltered and looked totally devoid of any confidence. They re-took the lead with a well-drilled free kick deflecting past Ruiz, and then sealed the three points late on with Elliot Bradbrook scoring a fine wonder goal from 30 yards. When the ball hit the back of the net I sulked, FLOUNCED out of the stadium and made my way to their nearest pub, the IVY. The second-half performance was dismal and confirmed we could not hack it with the better sides in our division. Quite impressively, this would be our last league away defeat of the season, which makes our inability to even make the play offs even more spectacular.
Strangely though, this was surprisingly a decent day without the football taken into consideration. I had a few of my mates from Ebbsfleet come along for the day and cheer us on, while it was great to catch up with my good pal Grassbank too. It turned out to be quite a messy session, a welcome distraction from the reality of our season slipping away before even Christmas.
My only real down point is that the spark and hatred between us and the Darts has really slipped off the radar over the past few seasons and the nastiness that boiled over in the ryman league days seems to be behind us. As a football fan you want a team to despise but the honest reality and truth is that Dartford are a well-run club and one we can really learn a few things from. It pains me to say it but its true. Most of their fans seem alright and have been friendly when we've had a beer with them.
Now, can somebody pass me the sick bucket?
Dover Athletic 4-1 Bromley (Saturday 10th December 2011)
Quite fortunately for ourselves our next opponents were one of the poorest sides we faced over the season, our Kentish friends from the other side of the county.
We ended a four match losing streak by sticking four goals past Bromley, all four within the opening half hour of the game. George Purcell ended his long goal drought with a fine hat-trick, included a superb half volley from outside the area. James Walker also netted with a long-range strike but we didn't add any further goals unfortunately and seemed content with our four goal cushion.
Bromley scored a consolation moments before the final whistle after a defencive mix-up, which was the only blip on a very relieving result that eased the growing discomfort. Bromley may have been utterly turd defensively but we did produce some very good football in the first half so the scoreline was justified.
Staines Town 0-3 Dover Athletic (Saturday 17th December 2011)
Even more fortunately, we would be playing another dog shit side for the second successive weekend with an away trip to Wheatsheaf Park. This would provide a chance to renew acquaintances with our good infamous pal 'Le Clown' Dominique Jean Zepherin, the clown that somehow keeps getting clubs at this level and is the gift that keeps on giving. The one good thing about their crappy squalid ground is how close you are to the pitch and believe me, he chomped like a goodun all afternoon.
Billy Bricknell, making his first start since returning from a long niggling injury, opened up the scoring in the first half. George Purcell added a second after the break with a fine one-on-one finish while new signing Terry Dixon impressed and was involved in our third, a comical own goal that just trickled over the line.
Staines were really piss-poor and barely got the ball out of their own half. We were far from scintillating, but it was an efficient performance and we got the job done well, and very comfortably.
With us all clad in christmas fancy dress outfits, this also turned out to be one of the funniest away days of the season with the main highlight being one of our pint-sized fans getting kicked out of the ground. While he went round the back of their stand for a piss he decided it would be a good idea to climb the TV gantry and watch the game from their. The stewards were not impressed, nor were they with any of our drunken antics and decided he'd not be allowed to watch the second half. It was a very out-of-character thing for him to, which made it all the more funnier.
Dover Athletic 1-1 Eastbourne Borough (Monday 26th December 2011)
I love boxing day football but for some reason I didn't feel too well for this and thus my alcohol intake before and after the game was limited for a change.
Which did mean i'd be more able to concentrate on the game ahead of me and a fairly entertaining game it was. I nearly choked on my turking, cranberry and stuffing sandwich when talentless ex-Dover thug put the visitors in front with a tap-in after a poorly defended corner.
We spent the rest of the first half dominating the game but unable to find a breakthrough, instead we'd have to wait mid-way through the second half before Bazza Cogan coolly finished off a good passing move with a neat finish. From then onwards the game was more open and it was end-to-end stuff, but neither side were able to find a winner.
For once it was a fairly decent crowd and atmosphere at Crabble which made a nice surprise, as did Glen "£650 a week" Southam buying me a pint in the bar afterwards, which I ungracefully accepted despite not wanting it.
The best part of the day though was Phil wrangling us a £9.99 banquet meal at the Taste of India, to help continue the boxing day curry tradition. TOP NOTCH!!!
Eastbourne Borough 2-2 Dover Athletic (Monday 2nd January 2012)
Quite fortunately for ourselves our next opponents were one of the poorest sides we faced over the season, our Kentish friends from the other side of the county.
We ended a four match losing streak by sticking four goals past Bromley, all four within the opening half hour of the game. George Purcell ended his long goal drought with a fine hat-trick, included a superb half volley from outside the area. James Walker also netted with a long-range strike but we didn't add any further goals unfortunately and seemed content with our four goal cushion.
Bromley scored a consolation moments before the final whistle after a defencive mix-up, which was the only blip on a very relieving result that eased the growing discomfort. Bromley may have been utterly turd defensively but we did produce some very good football in the first half so the scoreline was justified.
Staines Town 0-3 Dover Athletic (Saturday 17th December 2011)
Even more fortunately, we would be playing another dog shit side for the second successive weekend with an away trip to Wheatsheaf Park. This would provide a chance to renew acquaintances with our good infamous pal 'Le Clown' Dominique Jean Zepherin, the clown that somehow keeps getting clubs at this level and is the gift that keeps on giving. The one good thing about their crappy squalid ground is how close you are to the pitch and believe me, he chomped like a goodun all afternoon.
Billy Bricknell, making his first start since returning from a long niggling injury, opened up the scoring in the first half. George Purcell added a second after the break with a fine one-on-one finish while new signing Terry Dixon impressed and was involved in our third, a comical own goal that just trickled over the line.
Staines were really piss-poor and barely got the ball out of their own half. We were far from scintillating, but it was an efficient performance and we got the job done well, and very comfortably.
With us all clad in christmas fancy dress outfits, this also turned out to be one of the funniest away days of the season with the main highlight being one of our pint-sized fans getting kicked out of the ground. While he went round the back of their stand for a piss he decided it would be a good idea to climb the TV gantry and watch the game from their. The stewards were not impressed, nor were they with any of our drunken antics and decided he'd not be allowed to watch the second half. It was a very out-of-character thing for him to, which made it all the more funnier.
Dover Athletic 1-1 Eastbourne Borough (Monday 26th December 2011)
I love boxing day football but for some reason I didn't feel too well for this and thus my alcohol intake before and after the game was limited for a change.
Which did mean i'd be more able to concentrate on the game ahead of me and a fairly entertaining game it was. I nearly choked on my turking, cranberry and stuffing sandwich when talentless ex-Dover thug put the visitors in front with a tap-in after a poorly defended corner.
We spent the rest of the first half dominating the game but unable to find a breakthrough, instead we'd have to wait mid-way through the second half before Bazza Cogan coolly finished off a good passing move with a neat finish. From then onwards the game was more open and it was end-to-end stuff, but neither side were able to find a winner.
For once it was a fairly decent crowd and atmosphere at Crabble which made a nice surprise, as did Glen "£650 a week" Southam buying me a pint in the bar afterwards, which I ungracefully accepted despite not wanting it.
The best part of the day though was Phil wrangling us a £9.99 banquet meal at the Taste of India, to help continue the boxing day curry tradition. TOP NOTCH!!!
Eastbourne Borough 2-2 Dover Athletic (Monday 2nd January 2012)
It was a fairly enjoyable day out on the coach, made even better by the constant piss-taking of Martyn NOMORALS Mcgarrigle and with ex-Dover goalkeeper Kev Readings joining us for the day, who turned out to be a fucking nightmare. Their ground was pleasant enough and the bar was fantastic, IMO the best one in the league.
Sadly though our fantastic performance on the day, arguably our best of the season up until this point, somehow did not reap the reward of three points.
We completely dominated the first half and eventually took the lead with Michael Corcoron scoring his first of the campaign, a tap-in from a well delivered corner. But soon afterwards the cheating cunt of a referee decided to overrule the offside flag from the linesmen in their unjust equaliser. The referee ruled that the ball came off our player, even though he didn't intentionally play it backwards and the player was offside when the initial ball was played. It was disgraceful decision and nobody in the ground could believe it was allowed to stand.
Fortunately we continued to dominate the game but found that Clark Masters in goal for EBFC was equal to everything and made some blinding saves, including an amazing reflex stop from a close range Walker volley and he denied Dixon superbly in the second half.
But Dixon eventually headed in his first goal for the club from a fine cross just 12 minutes from time, finally giving us our rewards.
With just minutes left to play, Eastbourne equalised with another controversial goal, Gary Hart climbing over Wynter to power in a header and give the home side a very undeserved point.
It was a result that left us genuinely gutted an scratching our heads. We can blame the referee and Clark Masters as much as we like but the simple fact was we didn't put away enough of the various chances we created. And that cost us more than anything, ultimately.
Dover Athletic 2-0 Eastleigh (Saturday 7th January 2012)
Prior to this game I was a little bit cynical over how we would fare. Eastleigh had just got new owners in splashing the cash and had recently enjoyed an upturn in fortunes on the pitch.
Those fears turned out to be unwarranted as we produced arguably our best home performance of the season, in which the margin of victory could have been more significant.
It was a George Purcell double that sealed the points, his first goal coming in less than 60 seconds when he tapped in from a Cogan cross-shot at the far post. And then his second goal came in the second half, a cool finish from outside the box after Terry Dixon played him in beautifully.
Dixon was the star of the show here though with some tremendous movements, flicks and passes but sadly he spurned a ridiculously easy chance, stroking the ball wide with an empty net gaping which would be fit for any football bloopers DVD.
The only real concern here was our inability to convert more of our chances but it was enough and a real rare occasion where I walked away from Crabble this season really pleased with our style of football.
Dorchester Town 1-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 21st January 2012)
Prior to this game I was a little bit cynical over how we would fare. Eastleigh had just got new owners in splashing the cash and had recently enjoyed an upturn in fortunes on the pitch.
Those fears turned out to be unwarranted as we produced arguably our best home performance of the season, in which the margin of victory could have been more significant.
It was a George Purcell double that sealed the points, his first goal coming in less than 60 seconds when he tapped in from a Cogan cross-shot at the far post. And then his second goal came in the second half, a cool finish from outside the box after Terry Dixon played him in beautifully.
Dixon was the star of the show here though with some tremendous movements, flicks and passes but sadly he spurned a ridiculously easy chance, stroking the ball wide with an empty net gaping which would be fit for any football bloopers DVD.
The only real concern here was our inability to convert more of our chances but it was enough and a real rare occasion where I walked away from Crabble this season really pleased with our style of football.
Dorchester Town 1-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 21st January 2012)
This was another great away day with total carnage on the train up and throughout the day but sadly it wasn't capped off with a win after we threw away our late lead within an instant.
After a total non-event for 75 minutes of the game, Donovan Simmonds got on the end of a cross to give us a lead with about 8 minutes left to go. But while we were all still celebrating, a howler of a back-pass from Shane Huke allowed their striker to nip in and rescue a point. It was fucking gutting and annoying in equal measures, I would rather have just played out a dour goalless draw instead.
Thankfully a funny train trip still ensued, the highlight being taking our booze and food fuelled tesco trolley onto the train and Chris Hunt squishing tesco value ham right up my nostrils.
Dover Athletic 2-0 Welling United [Kent Senior Cup] (Tuesday 24th January 2012)
I rarely bother with the Kent Senior Cup, in fact this was my first appearance at one since a tie at Ebbsfleet in 2008. But I was glad I did bother for this as it turned out to be a very entertaining game at Crabble, with both sides featuring a mixture of a few first teamers and youth. It was quite surreal seeing my mate's brother Tom Axford featuring in our side and he gave a very good account of himself and was one of our standout youth players along with Tom Loynes and Lloyd Harrington. Harry Baker, making our last appearance for us before signing for our opponents, opened the scoring on the stroke of half-time with a long range deflected effort. Battiepedi sealed a semi-final tie away at Hythe with by putting away a penalty minutes from time.
And one thing I found really amusing from this game was the hilariously named Welling winger; Steadman Callender.
Dover Athletic 1-1 Salisbury City (Saturday 28th January 2012)
Sadly
the next home game, this time featuring our first team players, failed
to produce anywhere near the entertainment we saw in the KSC. The last time Salisbury were our guests Victor Renner infamously scored 2 goals, including a 96th minute winner in a dramatic 2-1.
This game was a total dud though sadly. Salisbury broke the deadlock before half-time with a very soft goal while our equaliser was equally velvety. The ball practically bounced off of Glen Southam's bonce into a gaping net. But we didn't kick on from that and neither did they. A total snooze-fest.
I will remember this day as the day I got to eat kangaroo, boar and shark down at the Old Endeavour after the game though, in yet another home game where the pub proved to be the main source of entertainment.
This game was a total dud though sadly. Salisbury broke the deadlock before half-time with a very soft goal while our equaliser was equally velvety. The ball practically bounced off of Glen Southam's bonce into a gaping net. But we didn't kick on from that and neither did they. A total snooze-fest.
I will remember this day as the day I got to eat kangaroo, boar and shark down at the Old Endeavour after the game though, in yet another home game where the pub proved to be the main source of entertainment.
 |
| Chips, potatoe salad, home-made beef burger, shark, boar, and kangaroo. What a winning combination.... |
We had to wait an unbearable 3 weeks until our next DAFC fix thanks to a spell of disgusting weather. Our fixture at Hampton was already postponed due to the pesky bastard refusal to get knocked out of the trophy while Farnborough's San Cherrio stadium feel victim to the heavy snow a week later.
So Cornish side Truro were our next visitors and it was a great chance to rectify our slightly unjust defeat down at their place.
Revenge didn't look to be on the cards when they were awarded an early penalty for a slightly harsh handball decision, which they stepped up and converted. Thankfully George Purcell levelled the scores with a great finish on the turn and then we were awarded a dodgy penalty ourselves thanks to another soft handball decision. New signing Jemal Johnson stepped up and tucked it away, thus giving us the lead going into half-time.
We had to with-stand some strong pressure from the visitors in the second half but thankfully weathered the storm. Billy Bricknell came off of the bench to ease our worries and seal the win with a goal similar to George's deep into stoppage time.
So this was one of the better home games of the season and it was made much better by the company of the Truro fans that spent all day on the piss with us into the senior hours. One of their fans even travelled over from Italy and they all seemed really complimentary of our fine footballl club and town, which makes a nice change.
Dover Athletic 0-1 Welling United (Saturday 25th February 2012)
A visit from our old South London rivals would prove to be one of our biggest tests since Dartford away, with Welling firmly in contention to finish runners up at this point with even feint hopes of the title.
But it was a test we would fail quite miserably and we we never really got going in the entire contest. Welling were not that great themselves to be fair and their style of football was pretty ugly at times, but nobody could have too many complains when Jack Parkinson powered in a header about 10 minutes from full-time.
Somehow the referee awarded us a penalty in injury time when James Walker tripped over the ball but fortunately for the Welling fans, he cooly slotted it into Holloway's grateful clutches and so they claimed the bragging rights for this one with a rare victory over us.
As for myself that penalty miss cost me £50 when I rather humourously decided it would be a good idea to destroy my phone in frustration and smash it to smitherines because as you know, that always help the situation.
Hythe Town 3-0 Dover Athletic [Kent Senior Cup] (Tuesday 28th February 2012)
Why get so wound up by a kent senior cup defeat? Well, as sad as it sounds, a cup final against Dartford or Charlton would have at least have been one positive from the season but our players really let us down on this evening at a game in which we turned out in numbers.
To make matters worse, ex Riverend idol Jimmy Dryden scored 2 of the goals against us in a performance which left us furious over a wasted evening out watching a side that clearly couldn't be arsed and didn't even want to play.
This game also prompted Donovans Simmonds twitter rant of 'Dover fans talk shit' because its ok to arrogantly swan around the pitch doing fuck all because he is the self proclaimed 'King Don'. Its a shame his attitude was so poor towards the end of the season because he was one of our players that had clear talent in abundance but half the time he couldn't be arsed to show it.
Salisbury City 0-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 3rd March 2012)
If
I was to use a favourite footballing cliche for this game then I would
say that we managed to pull off a "smash and grab". For the vast
majority of the game we withstood a lot of pressure from the hosts and
in the second half in particularly they somehow contrived not to score
when they ended up in a four-on-one situation after an inexpicable Starkey (who'd have guessed it) slip. Luckily Tom Wynter chased back in time to clear the eventual shot off of the line.But we livened up in the final twenty minutes and found a winner on four minutes from time when subsitute Bricknell unmarked nodded in from a Barry Cogan cross to send us into raptures, one of the finest moments of the season after a long distance away day. This also kick-started a great run of form for Billy who began to rediscover his shooting boots.
This was also my first visit to the city and what a fine city it was too. The weather was great for the day, the jaigermeister flowed to and from the game and we enjoyed some fine real ales. It turned out to be a top, top away day.
I didn't make much of the ground, nor some of their thick west country carrot munching fans but its certainly one of the fixtures I am most looking forward to next season. Pubs galore!
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| Impressively tinpot away following. |
Dover Athletic 2-1 Chelmsford City (Tuesday 6th March 2012)
It was quite depressing that only 625 hardy souls bothered to walk up the slopes for this one, including near on a hundred from the visitors. Those of us non-fickle supporters that did bother to support the club were treated to one of our best footballing perfomances of the season, but boy did we make it hard for ourselves.
Our football in the first half was certainly the best we'd seen in a long while, its amazing how much better we are when we actually keep the ball on the fucking deck! We created lots of chances but only went into the break with a lot a one goal lead thanks to Bricknell sweeping in a fine finish when the referee was about to blow up for a penalty!
Our failure to convert chances almost cost us as Chelmsford equalised in the second half against the run of play with a close-range header.
We lost our confidence a bit after that but regained it when it mattered most, with James Walker firing onto a loose ball from close range in that magic 86th minute, giving us the three points we so richly deserved.
At this point we looked in a good position to overhaul Chelmsford for the 4th play off spot with them having such an appalling second half to the season. They certainly didn't look as strong compared to previous seasons, and up until this season we had a terrible record against them.
Basingstoke Town 1-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 10th March 2012)
Well this turned out to be a cracking day out on the piss in the blazing sunshine but sadly we didn't pick up the 3 points to make it a perfect day.
In fact the match was very dull. I missed their goal go in as I was chatting to somebody (d'oh!) and we really didn't play particularly well. Thankfully Billy Bricknell kept up his fine goalscoring forum to salvage a point with a header 15 minutes from time, but we never really looked like nabbing a winner. I also find it quite incredible that the hosts, who were really nothing special but quite physical, managed to squeeze into the final play-off spot. At this point they looked miles out of the race and were a complete after-thought.
Funny day out though; Jared getting himself and thus all of us kicked out of weatherspoons
before kick-off, then crying about the whole incident was a particular highlight!It was quite depressing that only 625 hardy souls bothered to walk up the slopes for this one, including near on a hundred from the visitors. Those of us non-fickle supporters that did bother to support the club were treated to one of our best footballing perfomances of the season, but boy did we make it hard for ourselves.
Our football in the first half was certainly the best we'd seen in a long while, its amazing how much better we are when we actually keep the ball on the fucking deck! We created lots of chances but only went into the break with a lot a one goal lead thanks to Bricknell sweeping in a fine finish when the referee was about to blow up for a penalty!
Our failure to convert chances almost cost us as Chelmsford equalised in the second half against the run of play with a close-range header.
We lost our confidence a bit after that but regained it when it mattered most, with James Walker firing onto a loose ball from close range in that magic 86th minute, giving us the three points we so richly deserved.
At this point we looked in a good position to overhaul Chelmsford for the 4th play off spot with them having such an appalling second half to the season. They certainly didn't look as strong compared to previous seasons, and up until this season we had a terrible record against them.
Basingstoke Town 1-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 10th March 2012)
Well this turned out to be a cracking day out on the piss in the blazing sunshine but sadly we didn't pick up the 3 points to make it a perfect day.
In fact the match was very dull. I missed their goal go in as I was chatting to somebody (d'oh!) and we really didn't play particularly well. Thankfully Billy Bricknell kept up his fine goalscoring forum to salvage a point with a header 15 minutes from time, but we never really looked like nabbing a winner. I also find it quite incredible that the hosts, who were really nothing special but quite physical, managed to squeeze into the final play-off spot. At this point they looked miles out of the race and were a complete after-thought.
Funny day out though; Jared getting himself and thus all of us kicked out of weatherspoons
Its not every day that you walk away from a game where you have fought back from being 2 goals down to snatch a late draw absolutely furious with how you have played but that's how I felt after we somehow stole a point at 2nd bottom Hampton on this cold evening.
We deservedly found ourselves 2 goals down early on, including a wonderstrike by their Dean Inman. Against the run of play we equalised before half-time when Simpemba powerfully flicked a header beyond their keeper from a set-piece, which we really didn't deserve.
After a pathetically inept second half where Hampton could have score 4 or 5 goals were it not for some fine saves by Ruiz and some really wasteful finish, we somehow stole a point a couple of minutes before injury time when Bricknell tapped in after their goalkeeper made an absolute howler.
We laughed about it, more in shock than anything but that certainly papered over a lot of cracks. We deserved to lose 6-1!
All-in-all a very dissapointing evening. I went on the piss with Uncle John in London early doors and we met up with Grassbank for a few cheeky ales but I somehow remained boringly depressingly sober, which I could have done without. The highlight was getting back into the warmth in John's Milton Keynes house and finishing off a pack of bacon and sausages between us. That is how the Snell LADZ do it!
Eastleigh 2-3 Dover Athletic (Saturday 17th March 2012)
Away days were certainly the high point of last season and this one was fucking fantastic. Eastleigh may be a dive, their ground may be a dump and the only pub they have worth drinking in is a weatherspoons but we made the most out of the surroundings.
Mainly due to getting irresponsively wasted on Polish lager on the long train journey up, which included several drinking games. I've not got that drunk on a train since I was under-age in the ryman south era!
The game was fairly interesting aswell. We took the lead thanks to some non existant defending from a corner, where Billy Bricknell was grateful to tap in at the far empty post. And this sparked another few goals in quick succession. Poor defending by Huke *sigh* allowed them to nip in and equalise but we were laughing in histerics moments late, when Barry Cogan's long range free-kick somehow evaded every one and found the back of the net. "Did you not want to stop that one then keeper?" etc.
Bricknell made our leader safer minutes after half time when he emphatically finished off a one-on-one after a great ball through from Southam. They pulled one back with a header about 20 minutes from time from journeyman Lee Peacock and we were ultra relieved to here the final whistle because they really were piling on the pressure.
It was a great result and a blinding day, capped off by the wonderful moment where Martyn McGarrigle decided to get off of the train to walk up the platform to save time and quite brilliantly the train pulled off, leaving the morally corrupt speccy twat stranded in London. It was a sight that I will savour for ever!
Farnborough 0-2 Dover Athletic (Wednesday 21st March 2012)
Another enjoyable outing following DAFC on the road, this time as we collected our 14th point(s) out of a possible 18 with a comfortable win in Hampshire.
We took advantage of the free coach travel put on for us kindly by sponsor Nick Cunningham (I was planning on using the coach anyway so it was an added bonus) and so we took a healthy sized following to the San Cherrio, one of my favourite grounds in the division.
We only had to wait about 90 seconds to take the lead when Simpemba beautifully flicked a Cogan corner beyond their pint-sized keeper. I was still tying up my flag at this point so only caught a quick glance before it went in!
Thanks to a great run and cross by Simmonds, Bricknell was able to superb head home a diving header to give us a more comfortable cushion and from there onwards we comfortably saw the game out. Ruiz had to make an outstanding reflex save before half-time to preserve our lead but other than that they rarely threatened. As for ourselves, we spurned quite a few chances to fully kill the game off but fortunately we never needed to.
This evening was made even more funny by a group of local chavs pretending they were gangsters but they were so comically bad that they seemed like they were a parody.
Sadly, things went rapidly downhill from here onwards. I was sacked from my job the following day and as for Dover's fortunes....... not good.
Urgh. Just even typing out that result makes me feel physically sick.
That's right, we got absolutely humiliated at home against that shitty tinpot outfit from Middlesex, who were in the relegation zone at the start of the day.
I don't even want to try bother reciting this game but it really does epitomise how up and down our season was. Just as we'd gone unbeaten on a really tough run of games we complete undid our hard work with this gutless half-arsed performance when a win really would have put us in pole position to nab that final play-off spot.
The story of our season.
Dover Athletic 0-1 Hampton & Richmond (Tuesday 27th March 2012)
And things just went from bad to worse just a few days later. Second bottom Hampton overturned us at Crabble in front of a pitiful crowd of just 525, meaning that various jokes at the fickle nature of our support were justifiyably made.
The scored the only goal of the game mid-way through the first half and after that they just sat back, defended and saw the game out with easy. We rarely even bothered threatening them though.
Another wrist-slashing inducing evening at Crabble where our season was crumbling away right in front of our very eyes.
Dover Athletic 0-2 Boreham Wood (Saturday 31st March 2012)
Our third home game on the spin brought no further luck either. The tinpot nobodies from Heartfordshire managed to pull off their third famous win against the Whites in just one season, certainly a tale that the five Boreham Wood fans will tell their granchildren in years to come.
On a serious note, they were a well-drilled side and again we barely threatened them. The result was never in doubt.
So in just one single week our whole season just totally collapsed in three winnable home fixtures. Zero goals scored, 7 conceded and about 2 shots on target in that period. And then people claim i'm fickle when I rightly get totally wound up over this dross. I know that our players are played very healthy wages as I've heard through the horses mouth exactly what some players are from. The performances in parts of the season were totally unnacceptable. I don't even think it was a lack of ability in some cases - some players have proved they can turn it on when they want. I'm not suggesting that players deliberately want to lose but you really got the impression that they didn't want it enough either.
The most gutting thing about this terrible week was that 6 points from them would have been enough to have got us into the play-offs.
Tonbridge Angels 2-3 Dover Athletic (Saturday 7th April 2012)
After that horror run of results none of us were particularly looking forward to renewing acquaintances with our old chums from Longmead, particularly with them in great form and having various ex-Whites in their ranks eager to prove a point. So imagine our delight when our rivalry was renewed and a surprising thrilling victory came about - courtesy of a powering header by Shane Huke with just a minute of normal time to play. The moment he lept like a salmon and it hit the back of the onion back was without doubt the best moment of the season.
Prior to that it has been a very enjoyable, end-to-end game with plenty of action. The first half saw a goal glut with the whiney brats taking the lead after a really poorly defended corner. But we fought back into the game soon after when Terry Dixon tapped in after his initial header was stopped by Worgan. My delight at this goal was apparent, so much so that I ended up losing balance against the crush barrier before eventually falling onto the pitch in comical fashion!
Things soon got better when we were awarded a penalty after Bricknell
Sadly our joy was short lived when Frannie Collin inevitably scored against us, also from 12 yards when Lloyd Harrington made a clumsy challenge on his debut. Gutting for the lad really because he had a fine debut with that excepted.
The second half only saw the net bulge once but there were plenty of chance for both sides. Terry Dixon notably missing a one-on-one and Tonbridge struck the bar from long range moments before Hukes surprising winner, leaving us in absolute pandemonium behind the goal and left scratching our heads why we seem capable when we're playing outside of our wonderful goal.
It was a great day on the piss too to match the fantastic game too. The rivalry was certainly renewed as they blubbed like bitches because we invaded their town, drunk their pubs dry and certainly left an impression. Sadly the legacy will probably be that we're banned by nearly every boozer for our next visit but we'll sort that out when it comes!
We wouldn't even have time to see off our post-Tonbridge hangovers off before the reality kicked in that we'd be back at Crabble, playing a Sutton side that had been nestled in a play-off berth for the vast majority of the season.
And fuck me would we be taught a lesson in the first half. I don't think they could believe their lucky over how much time they had in possession to teach us a footballing lesson. Both of their goals came in the first half with the pick of the two being a sweet acrobatic finish from a cross.
Meanwhile ourselves resorted back to our shitty aimless hoofball and Jemal Johnson had to be hauled off after half an hour because of his non-effort show.
The second half brought much improvement and we had various chances to get back into the game. We didn't take them though. The pick of the bunch was Terry Dixon sliding in to inexplicably hit his short over the bar while Robbie Edmans hit the post with a header late on.
Fair play to Sutton though, they deservedly made the play-offs with a much smaller playing budget than us and seem to play good football aswell. I like winding up their supporters on conference south forum but I have an element of respect for them, they travelled in decent numbers and were efficient vocally.
This game was a far cry from our last meeting at Crabble when we spanked them 6-0 to win the ryman premier title!
Havant & Waterlooville 0-1 Dover Athletic (Saturday 14th April 2012)
The game itself was quite a snooze-fests. The hosts, finding themselves deeply entrenched in a relegation battle and thus probably the only side to under achieve more than us, had the best of the early chances and Ruiz had to be at his best to deny them.
But loanee Robert Edmans netted his first goal for us with a simple header from close-range, with some terrible goalkeeping chucked in for good measure. I missed the goal because I was too busy trying to purchase chips. I know - ME EATING FOOD! WHO'D OF THOUGHT IT?!?!?! He also saw a perfect header ruled out on the stroke of half time because of a presumed sneeze inside the area.
The second half we were too busy fucking around, winding up their stewards and singing ironic songs to really pay attention to the ongoings on the pitch, but we manage to hold out for three points even after being reduced to 10 men after Corcoron's reckless lunge.
The most amazing part of this day though was finding out after the game we were still in with a shout of making the play-offs, thanks to Chelmsford bottling a 2-0 lead with 5 minutes to go with Salisbury somehow achieving a 3-2 win. So this welcoming news topped off another decent away day, although part of me was just really hoping to be put out of our misery.
Dover Athletic 2-2 Maidenhead United (Saturday 21st April 2012)
A must-win game at Crabble if we had any remaining desire to make the play-offs but the visitors would need the elusive 3 points of their own being stuck in a relegation scrap.
But instead the main talking point of this game would be a second half conga around the goal between the Dover fans and the visitors all clad in fancy dress, which was widely considered as one of the most entertaining things to happen at Crabble all season. Just sums it up.
A rare comfortable home win appeared to be on the cards for us when Barry Cogan and Michael Corcoron scored with rebounded efforts in the first half. But the visitiors had over ideas, pulling a goal back before half-time with a well-struck half-volley from 25 yards out. They gained a share of the spoils shortly after the break with a free header after we allowed them to attack us with ease. And they were unlucky not to steal a winner when they missed a glitz-edged chance, which would have been enough to save them from the drop in the end. And that was our season officially over, with Basingstoke putting any lingering hopes beyond doubt when they beat Hampton on the following Tuesday. Quite incredibly they managed to nick that play-off spot, despite being a very ordinary side. At least to me that suggests that A) this league is poor and we only need to get a half decent side together and B) How badly ourselves and Chelmsford underachieved. Chelmo's form in the second half of the season was so terrible they would even have been envious of us!
On the positive side though this was a smashing day outside the football. We went on the piss with the Maidenhead fans before and after the game and had a great love-in. Some of their fancy dress costumes were awesome with Zippy being the pick of the punch.
A must-win game at Crabble if we had any remaining desire to make the play-offs but the visitors would need the elusive 3 points of their own being stuck in a relegation scrap.
But instead the main talking point of this game would be a second half conga around the goal between the Dover fans and the visitors all clad in fancy dress, which was widely considered as one of the most entertaining things to happen at Crabble all season. Just sums it up.
A rare comfortable home win appeared to be on the cards for us when Barry Cogan and Michael Corcoron scored with rebounded efforts in the first half. But the visitiors had over ideas, pulling a goal back before half-time with a well-struck half-volley from 25 yards out. They gained a share of the spoils shortly after the break with a free header after we allowed them to attack us with ease. And they were unlucky not to steal a winner when they missed a glitz-edged chance, which would have been enough to save them from the drop in the end. And that was our season officially over, with Basingstoke putting any lingering hopes beyond doubt when they beat Hampton on the following Tuesday. Quite incredibly they managed to nick that play-off spot, despite being a very ordinary side. At least to me that suggests that A) this league is poor and we only need to get a half decent side together and B) How badly ourselves and Chelmsford underachieved. Chelmo's form in the second half of the season was so terrible they would even have been envious of us!
On the positive side though this was a smashing day outside the football. We went on the piss with the Maidenhead fans before and after the game and had a great love-in. Some of their fancy dress costumes were awesome with Zippy being the pick of the punch.
A pre-booked weekender in Bristol was the only reason why I was looking forward to this dead rubber game and we had a smashing weekend. I don't need to go into too much detail because that blog should still be fresh in the memory.
As for the football it was quite a boring game on a dissapointingly cold afternoon. Robbie Edmans gave us the lead after half-time with a smart finish but they equalised later on with a strong header from a set-piece. But I don't think anyone really gave a fuck about the outcome to be honest. For the pitiful following of about 40 away fans I think we were all just relieved that a dissapointing season was finally coming to an end and we can put it all behind us.
And besides, most of us were too hammered/singing ironic songs to even notice.
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| Signing off the season in style |
I won't start talking about next season or the future because I'll wait until pre-season is fully underway before getting too over-excited or making an rash judgements. But I am feeling a tad more optimistic for the new campaign and excited after hearing our pre-season schedule, seeing our new kits and i'm fairly pleased with our recent additions to the squad.
And just to cap off a few general questions regarding the season just gone, i'll copy and paste my answers from the Dover forum to end this chapter.
1) Best Dover player - Not sure to be honest, theres certainly no standout winner and nobody has really been consistently great all season. I'd say its a toss up between Ruiz, Bricknell, Wynter or Simpemba though.
The best signing all together though has to be the re-opening of the Old Endeavour. Its great to have a great pre match pub back where the staff care for our custom. Most of the shite home games have been made bareable by our drinking sessions in there and the away fans seem to enjoy it too. I think nearly every single jollyboy will agree with me.
2) Worst Dover player - Not sure to be honest, theres quite a few contenders to be honest. How many pointless, ineffective loanees/short-term contracted players have we had? Green, Redwood, Battiepedi, Vassell etc. I think Jermaine Johnson has been the most dissapointing though, I was expecting big things out of him.
Starkey, Huke and Corcoron were three players who signed with decent pedigrees and were poor throughout most of the season. I'm puzzled that the latter two have been offered new deals.
3) Best game - Tonbridge 2-3 Dover - Superb end-to-end capped off with a towering late header from one of my least favourite Dover players. One of the few genuine memorable moments from this season.
Our 2-2 draw with Dartford early on was a very good game aswell with two cracking goals from us and a decent atmosphere too. One of the few genuinely entertaining games at Crabble this season.
4) Worst game - So many to choose from I could list several. I think going to Boreham Wood for the second time in a fortnight, mid-November and getting beaten 1-0 having not had a single shot all games takes some beating, especially after the horror show only a couple of weeks before that at the same ground.
Or coming off of the end of an unbeaten run of tough games only to lose 4-0 at home to Staines in a miserable gutless performance. But I kinda saw it coming.
5) Best away ground - Dorchester only need to widen their turnstiles and put a roof over the end of one of the goals and they'd have the best in the league. I do like Maidenhead aswell, very traditional and you can drink on the terraces, always a bonus.
6) Worst away ground - Boring Wood and Staines. Horrible, depressing places to watch football yet i've still been to both several times. One of the few away games that I never look forward to.
7) Best team to come to Crabble - Woking ripped us to shreds and looked like worthwhile champions. It didn't help that we didn't bother turning up and Ruiz had a rare stinker but credit to Woking, they were very good.
8) Worst team to come to Crabble - Bromley were atrocious and we ripped them to shreds. I think they're lucky to have beaten the drop.
Away from home Staines were pretty dire. We controlled the game with such ease and they barely got the ball out of their own half. Probably helped they had le Clown Zepherin in goal too.
9) Best fans to come to Crabble - Away followings have generally been very poor. Sutton were very vocal but sounded like drowning alcoholics. Dartford took a good following and there was some good back and forth. Truro fans were top notch and had a great session with us, as did the Maidenhead boys.
10) Worst fans to come to Crabble - Tonbridge for their big cup final didn't turn up in numbers or make much noise. It didn't help that the derby was scheduled so early in the season and only a few days after we had played Dartford midweek though to be fair.
11) Best goal - Most of our better goals came in the opening month of the season. My favourites were Harry Baker's half volley away at Thurrock and Purcell's 35 yard thunderbolt later in the same game. Shame they were never caught on camera.
12) Funniest moment - I'll agree that Martyn's face as the train pulled away at Waterloo being one of the most memorable images ever but I think our away day misdemeanour's are a bit irrelevant in terms of DAFC?
Maidenhead's conga around the ground was great as was me losing balance for about 10 seconds before eventually falling onto the pitch at Tonbridge when we equalized.
13) Best Opposition player - Jon Wallis is an obvious choice and it broke my heart to see him flourishing in a Dartford shirt. But Jack King from Woking really did look mustard and certainly the sort of player we could have done with dominating our midfield. Strangely, Woking fans seem to think he's not as good as their other options but the interest of Preston North End would suggest he's perhaps capable of playing in the football league.
14) Worst Opposition player - There have been some really terrible goalkeepers in this league and I thought other than the obvious choice of DJZ, Maidenhead's Sam Beasant was awful and clearly carving a career off the back of his fathers surname.
15) Rating this season out of 10 - 5.5. In the grand scheme of things, a 7th placed finish and sustained push for the play-offs wouldn't be a bad return for most sides. But considering we went all out for a title challenge, we have massively underachieved and things have been bad on and off the field. Dwindling attendances, breaking relationship between the board and the fans and a lack of entertainment throughout the season. Hayes was never going to be the man to lead us to promotion but have we appointed the right man to replace him? Only time can tell. Improvements have been ever so slight, but not significant enough. I'm prepared to give Forster the summer to build his own side and will back him but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any concerns and that he hasn't proved anything yet.
Its certainly a season I'll remember more for antics off the field rather than on it, for example our weekends spent in Newquay/Bristol for Truro/Weston respectively.
Jones (46)
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Parkinson (44)
