Pre Season Schedule
In hindsight, we were actually given some pretty decent fixtures, in comparison to this year's crop of dreadful shite we have arranged (Billericay, Hornchurch and Kingstonian at HOME ffs?!). We opened up with a rare trip to local Kent League neighbours Deal Town, which provided our annual "get-so-drunk-that-you-can't-even-remember-it-fest" and this was the case as usual. We won 6-1 apparently; when I woke up the following morning I couldn't honestly remember the score. A fucking blinder of a day - apparently.
The other great fixture was away at Lewes, then-managed by former Dover idol Simon Wormull. Lewes is such a splendid little seaside town, with a cracking plethora of pubs and their ground, the brilliantly named 'Dripping Pan' is amongst one of my favourites in non-league. So unique and quaint. We lost that game, from what I remember. I recall our Polish trialist that never actually signed a deal (Jakub Magalinski or something?) scored a consolation goal.
The rest of it was pretty dull. Me and my Dad made up 2 of our 10 strong following for a dour 0-0 draw with Ebbsfleet during the height of the Olympics. And quite amazingly, in the middle of July, we had a friendly against a developmental Brighton side postponed due to an incredibly strong downpour of torrential rain waterlogging the famous Crabble surface.
DAFC 2-2 Farnborough (18/08/2012)
We opened the campaign off with a fairly straight-forward looking fixture against a Farnborough side who were not expected to pull up any trees in the forthcoming campaign.
And it looked like our annual "we're going to piss this tinpot league" operation was well underway when we raced into a 2 goal lead at half-time, thanks to the unexpected brilliance from the then unknown Chris Sessegnon. He capped off a fine fluid move to side-foot in the opener, and then set up Barry Cogan to round a defender and finish into an empty net.
But that was as good as it got. Farnborough, who had looked absolute hopeless in the first half, managed to rescue a point after we took our foot off of the gas. Poor marking meant that they reduced the arrears with a free header and then they completed the turnaround ten minutes from time via the penalty spot, after Simpemba gave away a soft foul just inside the box.
While we still managed to preserve our unbeaten on the opening day since 2001 record, it was a very disappointing way to open up the campaign, and a worrying indicator that our poor home form from the prior season hadn't yet been extinguished....
Sutton United 2-2 Dover Athletic (21/08/2012)
Our first away game of the new season would be a tough trip to last season's play-off semi finalists Sutton. For this one I arrived into London early doors to meet up with Chris Hunt and get slightly spandangled before the game, necking jaigerbombs and double vodka cokes in the presence of this well-known alcoholic.
The opening 45 minutes were of poor quality, which you can expect from a non-league soccer match with failed semi-pro's competing against each other. But right before half-time, completely out of nowhere, they decided to take the lead with a belting 30 yard strike out of nowhere. Fair enough, can't complain at that sort of thing.
We ventured into their club bar for a half-time snifter, which is undoubtedly one of the worst and most cramped clubhouses in the league. And we emerged out of their about 45 seconds too late. Immediately after the re-start we equalized from a free kick with Billy Bricknell pouncing on a lose ball to stab home. Nice work. I can't think of (m)any occasions where I've missed a goal, other than a Woking one at Crabble the other year when I'd sneaked off to the pisser.
This would commence a more open, end-to-end 2nd half but just as we were looking on top of things, Sutton went and broke down the left-hand side and ending up regaining the lead through a close range header.
We dug in deep though and rescued a point 5 minutes from the end thanks to Shane Huke heading in from close range from a free-kick, rectifying his earlier mistake by being out of position for the 2nd Sutton goal.
A beautiful little evening this was; capped off with a few drinks in the Sutton bar with the voluptuous Sutton Sal, then ended up in Putney with Chris afterwards, with him splashing out on £20 rounds in some swanky bar full of yuppies.
AFC Hornchurch 0-1 DAFC
A game that will be remembered forever by those that went. Not for footballing reasons, but because of a 30 man brawl on the terrace between both sets of supporters that erupted and lasted for about a minute, before handshakes and cuddles were traded at the end of the game. This may have been in some small part been attributed to me, thanks to being stupidly drunk by downing bottles of rose and jaigerbombs before the match. Not a proud day for myself, but you have to try and learn from these things and try to be less of a twat in future. We all make mistakes.
The thought of Hornchurch away itself wasn't the appealing part; nobody was particularly enthused when they got promoted. A club that has an awful running track ground and is situated in a horrid part of Essex where it is proper West 'Am territory. But this was our first Saturday of the season so there was a sizeable Dover turnout.
But this would be quite a memorable away day, especially thanks to Barry Cogan's 86th minute superb
While I remain a useless piss-head, I've certainly taken it a bit easier since this shambles.
DAFC 0-0 Eastbourne Borough
Argh, back to the normality of the dullness of Crabble and comeback down to earth. In this goalless affair we only mustered up a 20 minute spell in the second half in which we looked capable of scoring. Eastbourne actually had a fair few chances of their own, but the patheticness of some teams in our league was summed up when at 0-0, in the 93rd minute, after a being awarded a corner they decided to run the clock down, rather than attempting to score a late winner. Then their manager Tommy Widdrington had the fucking cheek to suggest they felt hard-done by not winning the game in his post match interview!
Eastleigh 1-3 Dover Athletic
A ground we have a 100% success rate at since promotion to the Conference South in 2009, and we maintained that record in this game against the big spenders and pre-season favourites, with an excellent win and performance in Hampshire.
Eastleigh, as any of you have been will know, is a terrible away day with only a weatherspoons opposite the station to drink from. The cheap - but very long - four hour train journey is the only half-interesting part of the day, particularly when you have the errr, "special" Ryan Reid for company.
The home side opened up the scoring after 20 minutes in this affair with Craig McCallister being the latest player to be allowed to score a header against us.
But we responded really well to the set-back, and the striking partnership we were rarely allowed to see last season combined really well together. It was Calum Willock that got us on level terms with his first goal for the club, stabbing a shot passed Dovey after Thomson had released him free. Then right before the break he set up Ben May with a terrificly weighted low cross, who really couldn't miss from 6 yards out. A beautiful move.
The second half we inevitably had to withstand a lot of strong pressure from the hosts but we stood firm, with the impressive Daryl McMahon, whom we would splash out on a few weeks later, hitting the bar from a free-kick.
We wrapped up the points 6 minutes from time when Billy Bricknell made a breakthrough and finished with confidence to send us into raptures.
A fine win was capped off in the bar afterwards with Eastleigh dishing out a tonne of unused food for free, including burgers, hot-dogs and pies.
DAFC 0-1 Chelmsford City
The euphoria of that Eastleigh win would of course be short-lived, what with us having to play at Crabble a few days later against our old foes from Essex. Thanks to the wankers who hand-pick the Conference fixtures, we always seem to get this club, one of the very few who actually travel well in the league, on a Tuesday night.
We fell behind in the first half thanks to a Jamie Slabber penalty, courtesy of a poor Tom Wynter challenge in the box.
Like most of our home games, this was another flat-arsed performance. Cogan drew a couple of decent saves out of Searle but we never really put them under a sustained spell of pressure and although Chelmsford were really not much cop, I had no complaints with the result. Meh.
DAFC 0-1 Hayes and Yeading
Another predictable limp home defeat, this, although we did create a few more chances than we did on the Tuesday night. Dean Rance being the main culprit of missing a glitzed-edge chance when one-on-one. We didn't play particularly bad in this and on the reflection of play didn't deserve to lose, but it was another one we couldn't have no complaints with. Hayes took one of their very few chances thanks to the awful Steven Watt, who's terrible mis-timed header back to Walker was capitalized on. I'd like to see some people justify that one for his so-called lack of fitness. He's just shit.
Bath City 1-2 Dover Athletic
And then even more predictably, we picked up a cracking result on the road in our next away game, in what turned out to be a fine away day.
Last time I went to Bath City it was via the supporter's coach, so I missed out on this fine cathedral city and its excellent array of real ale pubs. It was such a lovely place that many of us are considering staying over there next season, funds and date permitting.
In terms of the actual match, we dominated the first half but failed to make a breakthrough, even though Ben May's ruled out header appeared to be onside.
They took the lead in the second half though thanks to that overweight journeyman Charlie Griffin pouncing on a rebound but once again we came from behind. Bricknell drilled in a fine angled equalizer, then Steven Thomson capitalized on a loose free-kick to round past the goalkeeper and tap home.
Which meant that our trip to Somerset was a fucking brilliant one, even in spite of Dean Rance being sent off late on for protesting about his goal-bound effort which had been handled off of the line.
Herne Bay 2-1 DAFC (KSC)
The Kent Senior Cup tie I had always been dreaming of. Away at the place I have lived my whole life at with my mum, in an actual competitive game. Well, sort of.
But this night turned out to be nothing but a fucking embarrassment. We sent out a pretty strong side for this with several regulars included, so to lose to a ryman south side was pretty embarrassing for myself. I was actually looking forward to going home back to the warmth when Nicky Forster, the useless manager of ours, decided to equalize very late on and bring the tie into extra time.
We really should have punished this feeder league dogshit for wasting our time but instead we took pity on the plucky nothing and give them a sense of worthiness. Jamie Smith and Forster comically contrived to miss a 2 on 1 against the goalkeeper with acres of time and space, which would have undoubtedly won us the game. Instead the underdogs managed to snatch it later on.
Terrible evening, one that made me vow to never attend a Kent Senior Cup again. I've more than had more than enough of the shitty pointless competition, so if you see me at a KSC next season, feel free to give me a fucking good slap.
DAFC 2-1 Tonbridge Angels (FA Cup)
This was a momentous occasion. On the eve of my 21st birthday, we actually won a fucking home game for the first time since March. And to make it better, we knocked out our self-pitying, inbred whinging cousins out of the FA Cup in the process!
This was also one of the most pointlessly segregated games in history, with Tonbridge's sub 100 following never being in the danger of receiving the good slap they so richly deserve.
Instead, the slapping was reserved for on the pitch and all 3 goals came in the first 45 minutes. Ben May put us ahead with a header from Cogan's free-kick but the joy was short lived. Who scored their equalizer? George fucking Purcell, it had to be didn't it? Decent finish an'all, the floppy haired, no mettle, prick.
But we scored the winner before half-time with another goal from a set-piece, this time Danny Webb pouncing on a lose ball to beat Worgan. This was fucking epic because he went right up into Sonny Miles's face afterwards and called him a cunt. Exactly the type of thing you like to see in a game like this.
The second half we coasted through without really looking like letting the lead slip. And fuck me, what a relief it was to get a win under our belts at Crabble.
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| The first time the newly installed electronic scoreboards actually read well. |
DAFC 2-0 Maidenhead United
And with that first home win under our belts, our first home league win soon followed. With the visit of recently reprieved Maidenhead, we registered a fairly comfortable win without getting out second gear. Both goals came in the 2nd half at the town end, courtesy of Ben May close range low drive and Bricknell's fine run and smart finish.
So finally, it looked like we were slowly getting over our Crabble stage fright and that the corner was being turned.....
Welling United 1-1 DAFC
This draw away at Champions elect Welling may sound very credible, but in truth we were unfairly fucked over by a dodgy last-minute penalty which prevented us from becoming the only victors at Park View Road this season.
In truth, our first half penalty, dispatched by Ben May, looked quite soft. But it came as a result of the referee having enough of Ben Martin shoving our players off the ball because he's a useless carthorse donkey cunt than can't compete properly.
We also had a 2nd half Simpemba header chalked off for being offside, even though highlights proved he was onside. But we did have to withstand a lot of Welling 2nd half pressure with Mitch Walker making some terrific saves. They certainly looked a good side attacking down the wings (no pun intended) and were worthy of a point on balance of play, but the manner of this late penalty left a very sour taste. I'm still not quite sure what Walker was penalised for!
Otherwise, this was an alright Tuesday evening outing. Welling's actually quite underrated as an away day. I know it's a bit of a shithole but there's a fair few pubs on the direct road from the ground to the station.
DAFC 1-2 Bromley (FA Cup)
Our revived home fortunes was never going to last long, was it? This time our customary early FA Cup exit came at the hands of our North Kent neighbours, who fully deserved to progress through. We were weak and only decided to start playing in the final ten minutes, in which Ben May's consolation strike was not enough to avoid yet another cup exit.
At the time I put this down to just our traditional FA Cup luck but instead it just underlined on the ongoing continuous problem.
DAFC 1-3 Salisbury City
The then runaway leaders came to Crabble and gave us a footballing lesson, in what was another really diabolical performance. The first half was just a shitty scrappy opening affair of nothingness like most of our home games but in the second half they blew us away with three goals. Ex Torquay and Ebbsfleet Chris McPhee causing most of the damage with a brace, either side of Jamie White's strike. By the time we were awarded a last minute sympathy penalty, we had resorted to self-mocking and trying to make the most of a very shit situation. Prior to May lashing away that spot-kick in frustration, we were all singing "next goal wins", which amused ourselves.
This latest poor showing really turned up the heat on Forster.
Basingstoke Town 0-1 DAFC
Yep. The boring but predictable theme of Dover following up a dismal home performance with a solid win on the road continued, this time at Hampshire Basingstoke Town.
And it t'was one of many excellent days out last season, no doubt aided by the decision to drink in Reading before hand. We found a cracking quirky ale house there called the Hobgoblin, in which we will no doubt frequent again next season.
I was fucking hammered and don't remember much of this boring game, which we settled in the opening 5 minutes thanks to Ben May scoring yet another goal. From what I remember, we defended really solidly in a game of few chances, one of which the legendary Ashley Bayes saved really well from.
The 7 of us that travelled via train were unbelievably drunk between us, I have some hilariously bad videos on my phone of our antics, that are probably not best for public consumption. The highlight of the day being some local slag tagging along with us, whom asked Jared to shag her in the Basingstoke bar toilets. For some reason he didn't oblige. His loss.
Eastbourne Borough 0-3 DAFC
Another blinding away day, this time on the Sussex coast. And I've got to say, Eastbourne is actually a terrific place to drink too, some cracking pubs. Only problem is that the ground is out in the middle of nowhere in Pevensey.
The same side we struggled to break down a few months earlier at Crabble we completely took apart here at Priory lane. Barry Cogan netted this first, a rebound from a free-kick, in the first half. Then a second half penalty from May, which was hit so hard it almost broke the crossbar, put us in the driving seat before Calum Willock wrapped it up when he bust a gut to finish past Danny Potter.
We were quality on the day and could have made the scoreline even more handsome. The difference between this display against them and the one at Crabble just highlights our severe level of inconsistencies.
Chelmsford City 1-1 DAFC (FA Trophy)
Yet another dull-as-dishwater cup draw against same league opposition and what a tough one it was too against our Essex foes who have an inferior complex about us for reason.
Still, Chelmsford's actually a good away day for an Essex slum, even if the ground is a shit athletics track stadium out of town. The new continental beer and ale pub by the station is absolutely blinding and we had a good time in there. The best part of the pre-match shenanigans though was Martyn getting fined £75 by Basildon council wardens for littering a cigarette!
This tie would go to an unwanted replay. Ricky Modeste opened the scoring in the first half against his former employers but that ugly ginger bald twat Kenny Clark scored a booming header in the second half to set up another date at Crabble, in what was a fairly entertaining and open game between the two sides.
DAFC 2-4 Chelmsford City (FA Trophy)
Yet another home defeat and a third successive FA Trophy exit at the first hurdle to a fellow Conference South side. But in truth this was a game we really shouldn't have lost, and blame laid firmly at the feet of a shocking 2nd half substitution made by Forster for this exit.
We took the lead early on through Calum Willock, who slid home from a cross. But the very common theme of former Dover players coming back to haunt us continued with Donovan Simmonds following tradition. It was fine solo effort to put them back on level terms, just a shame he decided to continue this cringeworthy phase of not celebrating against former clubs, even in spite of his goading of Dover fans on twitter prior to this fixture.
We regained the lead after half-time though, thanks to Daryl McMahon's cross managing to evade everyone including Stuart Searle, and we looked certain to progress when Chelmsford went down to ten men. But with the visitors chasing the game, we took off Dean Rance in the middle to give the very unfit Terry Dixon a run out and it cost us dear. We became completely overrun in the middle and yep, you guessed it, eventually faltered in the 90th minute. The inevitable turnaround was completed in injury time with strikes in each half after Tom Wynter was dismissed, including another goal from Simmonds.
So yep, that was bitterly disappointing and we were denied another trophy run, whereas Chelmsford went onto beat Hereford away, which would have been a great tie for us.
Instead, more questions were being raised about Forster's leadership and it was only our tremendous away results keeping him in a job.
DAFC 0-1 Boreham Wood
I've made my feelings known about Boring Wood several times, haven't I? I'm feeling too lethargic to go on yet another rant but after losing 3 times to them in 2011/2012, another defeat against them seemed like it would be an inevitability. I've been using that word a lot in this blog haven't I? "Inevitable" would be a good theme for last season.
And yeah, much like previous encounters against them, we lost this one with a whimper. I can't even remember anything about their solitary goal, this is just one of those games that merges amongst several home games of utter dross we witnessed throughout the season. I'm fairly sure we didn't even register a single shot in this game. Abysmal.
Still, at least I got to meet the legendary bwooder of conference south forum fame which more than made up for my failing club having wasted more money at a failed promotion campaign.
DAFC 4-1 Billericay Town
While the scoreline of this may read like it was an emphatic home win, the real truth behind this game was that we were really aided by a terrible performance from an on-loan Billericay goalkeeper who seemed determined to throw the game.
Our first goal came directly from a corner, when Bazza Cogan's inswinger evaded everyone. The second one soon followed and this was brilliantly calamitous. One of their lumbering carthorse defenders sliced a high clearance back to the goalkeeper. Instead of handling it (it wasn't a deliberate back-pass in the slightest) he attempted to control it with his feet. Instead, he managed to fall backwards in the process and Billy Bricknell gratefully accepted the gift to tap the loose ball in. It was one of those goals that instead of celebrating you're just genuinely laughing at what you've witnessed!
Sadly, Mitch Walker at the other end wasn't on his A game either and poorly misjudged for them pulling a goal back just before the break.
Our third goal was a rare genuinely good move, capped off by a smart finish from Shane Huke who seemed to excel in his newly found central defence berth. And Bricknell thundered in a 4th not long after which the clown in goal managed to allow to squirm under his body.
So for once, we actually enjoyed some rare luck in our favour at Crabble and boy did we need it. This was a good start, but in truth Billericay were utterly pants and not getting three points from them would really have been a travesty.
DAFC 3-1 Weston-super-mare
The only league fixture in the past two seasons that I have missed. Why? A pre-arranged weekend with my Dad in Newcastle, which I was desperately hoping would fall on an FA Trophy date as we always get dull draws. Instead we bottled it against Chelmsford and this game was rearranged for a Saturday date.
It was really, really strange not being there. A good convincing win with goals from May, Modeste and Bricknell before a Weston consolation, was witnessed by an appalling crowd of 502, our worst Saturday crowd for god knows how long. No thanks to part-time scum like me getting their footballing fix from the football hotbed instead.
Billericay Town 1-2 DAFC
Another Essex town which is actually alright for a booze up. From the station you've got a good crawl through the town centre to the ground, and we took good numbers for this.
The football wasn't half bad either. We took the lead in the 1st half through Bricknell tapping in a rebound but it was his goal 10 minutes before full-time that really sent us fucking delirious. It joins one of the several great DAFC goals to never be caught on camera, as his thumping volley from a tight angle which looped over the goalkeeper was very, very pleasing on the eye. It was needed too, as they gave us a late scare on their cabbage field they call a football pitch. But we held out and we continued to drink the town dry.
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| Chris Hunt's unconventional post-match celebration. |
Truro City 0-3 DAFC
Have I mentioned that I've been to Truro away on a Tuesday night in December, arranged at less than week's notice at a time where severe weather forecast meant the game would be in jeopardy, and the whole previous week trains in the south west had not been running properly due to line flooding, including our planned sleeper train home which hadn't been running for over 10 days? Oh, I have?
Seriously though, this is one of my greatest and favourite nights ever following Dover. I've already listed why in great depth on my blog on it, so revisit that if you feel like it. This experience will be hard to be topped.
Goals from May, Willock and Bricknell ensured that the mammoth journey would be worth the hassle, as our revived fortunes propelled us back into the mixer at the top of the table.
DAFC 2-0 Eastleigh
The turnaround really seemed to be continuing when we finally actually beat a decent side at Crabble, this time another win over Eastleigh. Both goals came in the first half courtesy of Ben May, the first being a penalty very early on, the second him finishing well from Modeste's inviting cross. But the real turning point in this match occurred before the break. Eastleigh seemingly equalized directly from a free-kick, only for loads of furious Dover players to curiously circle the linesman and refereeing. Video evidence emerged that Dale Binns, the aggressive little fucker, slapped Ben May during the wall and so subsequently, the goal got ruled out and Dale received his marching orders.
We failed to add to the scoreline with the man advantage, instead spending most of the second half having to defend quite deep. But nonetheless this was a cracking result and left us with the feeling that we'd really started to turn the corner.
Hayes and Yeading 2-4 DAFC
Our final game before Christmas, a Sunday jaunt to Kingfield to take on homeless Hayes, resulted in another emphatic away win and secured a 6th straight win on the bounce, putting us firmly back into title contention and believing that Forster might have the managerial goods after all.
We fell 1-0 before the break thanks to Shane Huke's terrible marking allowing them a free header from a set piece, as we really struggled to get going in a strange subdued performance.
However, a torrential downpour of rain in the second half turned the tide, and we turned on some scintiliating football to tear them apart with four goals in twenty minutes. The first being Daryl McMahon's strike soon after the restart, a terrific inswinger which I'm not sure was intended as a shot or a cross - but either way it went in off the post and was aesthetically pleasing.
May then got his customary goal from the spot after a stupidly blatant handball, and minutes later added to his tally with a perfect thumping header from McMahon's cross. We hadn't long stopped celebrating before Modeste's low hard cross was comically turned in by a Hayes player.
Hayes made the scoreline a bit less flattering ten minutes from the end with a consolation from a Balotelli lookalike, but our excellent attacking football in the second half meant we deserved to go back to Kent with the three points.
Absolutely terrific afternoon this, I actually quite enjoy Sunday fixtures. Kingfield seemed really weird being so sparsely populated, but we did have half of the 284 strong crowd there and made a great racket.
Sadly, this afternoon was the last time I have seen two of my Dover flags, which tragically must have got stolen on the way home.
I'll stop there for now. I've been writing here for fucking ages now without really writing anything interesting and the dog keeps begging me to take her out for a walk, so I best crack on with that. Hopefully I'll get the rest of this finished before too long but I'd forgotten how draining and tiresome writing can actually be!
