To directly quote from my correlating blog
this time last year; "being the meat paste sandwich connoisseur and
un-sexed, socially inept anorak that I am; I will reflect on this monumental
year by reviewing my most favourite aspects and memories in a series of tedious
categories." There are a few alterations this time around though. I, ahem,
have a girlfriend, and my adoration for meat paste has been replaced with a
perchance for jellied eels and octopus kebabs. Fundamentally though, I am still
a tedious enough cunt to travel around to irrelevant football matches to fill
some weird void in my sad life, so it would be a shame to not share the best of
my experiences with you all.
And there have been a fair few. Over the
season I have attended 70 games in total across 11 countries - well - actually
twelve if you include Dover's barnstorming win in North Wales. Speaking of
Dover, only a paltry 19 of those fixtures were with the club I supposedly
support and shockingly only 6 of those games were Crabble, easily my lowest
total since I became a much loved icon of the River End. Pleasingly though,
I've bolstered my new grounds tally by 49 this season, moving to Leicester for
university has certainly helped to expand my horizons, however, such a
numerical boost is mostly attributed to unexpectedly qualifying for free travel
to sponge off my father's occupation once again. Being a work-shy student is
fucking great, isn't it?
FAVOURITE NON-LEAGUE GROUNDS VISITED IN
2015/16
This season I have only had four new grounds
to visit with Dover - (un)fortunately I was working the day Nantwich comically
dumped us out of the FA Trophy. However, on midweek groundhops throughout the
season, I've rediscovered my fondness for lower-league football this season -
the further down the pyramid you go, the less it is infiltrated with
money-grabbing, self-proclaimed 'baller' cunts masquerading as stars despite
not being good enough for professional football.
In this blog I'm only going to list new
entrants, so revisits to wonderful grounds like Wrexham's Racecourse won't get
a look in.
5) Tranmere Rovers; Prenton Park.
It doesn’t feel right to include Prenton Park amongst this list and I have been hasty in doing so. However, they only have themselves to blame for being tragically shit at playing a sport called football. This really ought to be hosting Championship football. Situated in one of the roughest estates you’ll ever have the misfortune of trespassing en route to a ground, it has the added feel of being an unpleasant, intimidating place to go to. Which is how it should feel as an away fan.
4) Barrow AFC: Holker Street.
I can see why not too many away fans relish a trip to Holker Street. On a technical level, the ground is an absolute shithole with scant cover (none behind either goal) and their effective brand of agricultural football makes it a notoriously difficult place to go. Fortunately for us we experienced some actual sunshine on this opening day of the season, and while we came away empty handed, I can appreciate that these type of grounds are a dying breed.
3) Chorley: Victory Park.
It’s a tragic shame that Chorley were beaten by Guiseley in last season’s Conference North play-off final – this is a club that would be a much welcome addition to our league. A quaint Lancashire town just a short hop away from Bolton (I indeed paired this up with a lunchtime kick-off at the
2) Boston United, York Street.
If you haven’t got yourself down to Boston’s fantastic York Street home then do so before their lease runs out at the end of next season. Ignoring the vast amount of bird excrement laden on the crush barriers, this boasts one of the best remaining terraces in English football.
1) Ilkeston FC, New Manor Ground.
A former Dr Martens League opponent of Dover Athletic in my early years growing up, this is a ground that has always intrigued me because of its peculiar crooked spire and clock on an elevated stand tucked into the corner of the ground. A midweek groundhop/Nottingham piss-up with my good friend Dan Scanlon did not disappoint here. In fact it’s up there with Lewes as one of my favourite non-league venues EVER. Along with the awesome aforementioned stand, it boasts a lovely covered terrace behind the goal.
FAVOURITE FOOTBALL LEAGUE GROUNDS 2015/16:
Over the season I managed to increase my great 92 tally by 18. The competition isn't as strong as last year - among them too many bland meccano bowls from the likes of Leicester, Derby and Reading, or completely plastic experiences like Chelsea. I wouldn't say this list is 'the best out of a bad bunch' though.
5) Wolverhampton Wanderers, Molineux.
Although a rather subdued atmosphere on my visit to Molineux, I rather enjoyed the surroundings. While all the stands are rebuilt or modernized in recent years, you can still see remnants of the grassy origins of the famous South Bank end.
4) Oldham Athletic, Boundary Park.
Growing up one of my favourite TV shows was Shameless, and a trip to this area of Manchester gives you an evocative sense of what life is like on the Chatsworth estate. The epitome of 'rundown industrial shithole' (I term this as a good thing, by the way). Boundary Park is such a brilliant old school ground as well, with four unique individual stands, mixed in with a high-tech new build on one side. This is also the first game I went to with my girlfriend so it holds sentimental value on that level, me being the big softy poof that I am.
3) Peterborough United, London Road.
Although the much beloved away terrace has now been converted into a modernized all-seated affair, London Road still retains plenty of old-school character. A standing home terrace with a tight, enclosed roof always helps matters, but the two tiered dwarfing main stand is also rather impressive. What I liked about the ground is that it's close from the town centre and walking distance from the station, with numerous good watering holes nearby. Would make a perfect FA Cup outing IMO.
2) Leeds United, Elland Road.
Say what you like about dirty Leeds Scum but Elland Road is a great venue, with such a sense of a character and history. Only downside is how far out of the centre it is. But I found the acoustics and atmosphere here brilliant - for a fanbase that is understandably apathetic with the constant turmoil its owners inflict upon it.
1) Liverpool, Anfield.
I am often one to vehemently refute popular clichés but the old adage of those ‘special European nights’ at Anfield genuinely has weight. I had been to Anfield several years ago on a stadium tour, and although enamoured by the sheer history of the club, wasn’t overwhelmed by the ground itself. However, on match night, seeing Anfield filled to the brim is actually rather spectacular, especially with the Kop decked out in full colour before kick-off.
FAVOURITE FOREIGN GROUNDS VISITED IN 2015/16:
I am not sure where the seasons begins and ends to be honest. I'm going to a top-flight game in Vilnius, Lithuania, in mid-June. If we say that a calendar season begins in July and ends at the end of June, Zalgaris will be my 19th ground across 11 non-English countries this season. I include Scotland as a separate entity in that, where I visited 3 different grounds, a joint highest total with Italy and Germany. I managed 2 in both South Korea and Sweden, while the rest were solitary grounds in Serbia, FYR Macedonia, Croatia, Latvia and Portugal.
5) Jeju United, Jeju World Cup Stadium.
This has absolutely no right to be in my list given some of the fantastic options I’ve overlooked here. But this is my blog and if you don’t like it go and read some other fellow shitty, attention-seeking, mundane, amateur blog. I’m going to justify its inclusion on the basis of the sheer surreal feeling I felt watching football here. By definition, this ground built on South Korea’s honeymoon paradise island is somewhat of a white elephant. Built for the 2002 world cup, it hosted 2 group games including that of Brazil’s thrashing of China. Although Jeju’s football franchise average a respectable 5,000 for an average league game, it has seldom ever been close to filling its 35,000 capacity. Despite a crowd just short of a thousand rattling around on the occasion I went for a midweek cup tie, I thoroughly enjoyed an evening watching two sides playing positive passing football in the pissing monsoon. The small pocket of away fans made tremendous noise, while the half-arch makes it standout from most new builds.
4) NK Osijek, Stadion Gradski.
TO be honest, this shouldn’t really warrant inclusion either. For this top-flight Croatian fixture only one stand was open, with a sub-thousand crowd in attendance to witness it. Osijek ultras and ordinary fans, like many other clubs throughout Croatia, are boycotting games because of the notorious corruption that enshrouds their FA. However, this was a vintage, decrepit, circular and open European stadium with oodles of character, and cool fan art graffiti aplenty. That beer was served at only €1.50 a pop in the steaming hot sunshine, followed by a spectacular sunset in the closing stages of the game, somewhat offset the poor standard of football and non-existent ambience.
3) Hamburger SV, Volksparkstadion.
I wasn’t expected to be blown away by Hamburg’s ultra modern Imtech Arena. From images on TV, it just looks like another bland Emirates style replica. But when you step inside it is something else. I’ve been to grounds with far bigger capacities, but nothing has ever felt quite so gigantic. The facilities and service throughout the stadium is top notch. I can see why the traditionalists would sneer, but the free wifi was welcome and worked perfectly, and I didn’t once have to move for beer re-refreshments. Great acoustics and stadium lighting throughout as well. The difference between this and other bowl type stadiums? I'm not sure - and it's a bit hypocritical of me to slag off identikit circular stadiums but be such a fan of this. I think the presence of terracing makes a crucial difference.
2) Genoa, Stadio Luigi Ferraris.
An incredibly Unique stadium in its structure and design. It's moreso British in its layout rather than Italian; four imposing two tiered stand (one has three tiers) but it has the rustic, cramped and worn continental feel to it; no real signage for seats or where to go, just free for all.
1) Calcio Como, Stadio Giuseppe Sinigaglia.
On my trip to Italy, I was faced with a variety of options on where to make my midweek Serie B stop-off. Naturally, one would most likely lean towards the more renowned name of Brescia in their hunt for promotion, rather than a visit of rock bottom, relegation-fodder Como, noted for hosting to the sparsest crowds in that division. However, a research on google images swayed me towards the latter – a ground in absolutely stunning location, nestled metres away from its famous lake and surrounded by glorious mountains. In person, it somehow managed to eclipse expectations. Strange, temporary metal structures serving as seating/standing behind the goal only added to the quirky character of a characteristically Italian ground. Having snuck into the ground during the day for photos in broad sunshine, it comparatively looked just as picturesque at night, with the lit up funicular railway on the mountains a particular glorious sight.
WORST FOOTBALL GROUNDS VISITED IN 2015/16.
I like to appreciate all football grounds for what they are, and mitigate a bit of context behind them and why they are the way they are. But let's face it, some are shitter than others, and deserve to be ridiculed as such for it.
5) Walsall, Bescot Stadium.
Hilariously, we wasted a free Saturday when we tried to turn up to their bout with Wigan, after Dover’s game at Macclesfield had been called off. Comically, a League One club actually has the cajones to make a game all-ticket for a game played at half-full capacity. Unbelievable. When I finally went here on a Tuesday night it wasn’t worth the wait. A tepid 0-0 draw against Scunthorpe played out in of the dullest grounds on offer in the Great 92. The three-tiered stand behind the goal that I was situated in is actually quite impressive with decent views, but the other three stands are as bland as meccano as they come. It’s not awful, it’s just dull.
4) Oxford United, Kassam Stadium.
I actually enjoyed my visit to the Kassam. This was a decent game and atmosphere contested between two sides with big fanbases, befitting of being played at a higher level. Indeed - since then both Oxford and Bristol Rovers have escaped via the automatics. However, the ground itself is just a bit of a breeze block and far too out of the way of Oxford’s beautiful centre. The absence of a fourth stand doesn’t help matters.
3) Forest Green Rovers, The New Lawn.
If a ground ever personified the world ‘sterile’, this would provide stiff competition against Colchester United for the mantle. Just awful. In the arse end of nowhere. Avoid. Never again.
2) Guiseley, Nethermoor Park.
This is probably a tad unfair. Nethermoor Park would be a rather tidy little non-league ground if they were playing in step 3 or step 4. But they’re not. And it’s not good enough for national football. Zero elevation or cover behind either goal just doesn’t cut the mustard with me. Let’s not mention their neck-tattooed steward, who responded to a Dover fans being assaulted by a local cokehead by punching another Dover fan himself. It’s crap and it’s bitterly cold here. Nice bar though and the chippy up the road, the original Harry Ramsdens, is immense.
1) FS Metta.
Myself and Liam had zero expectations when we aimed to take in a game during our stint in Riga, the Latvian capital. Crowds in their top-flight rarely fluctuate above the 300-400 level. However, we were still flabbergasted that this was a top-tier game in European football we were witnessing. Metta are the Latvian University team and play on a training complex with essentially a few metal structures on the side of the pitch that hold 3 rows of seats. There are no facilities or refreshments; at half-time, everybody popped to the supermarket 3 minutes from the ground. Ticket entrance cost €2 or was free to anyone wearing a scarf or Metta colours. It was bizarre. And the standard would be on a par with whatever league Folkestone Invicta ply their trade in these days.
BEST ATMOSPHERES EXPERIENCE IN 2015/16:
5) FC Seoul vs Incheon United.
If I told you that a game played at a white elephant stadium with only one seventh full of its 70,000 capacity was one of the best atmospheres I’ve been to this season then you’d probably assume I was taking the piss, or widely exaggerating. Alas I’m not. South Koreans know how to enjoy themselves. For a good twenty minutes or so after the game they were celebrating in the concourse, going complete batshit mental. It was a strange experience - sport there is highly Americanized in the matchday culture, but their vocal support adopts European style flags and some fans were even wearing ACAB t-shirts.
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| We befriended this nutter Kiwi bloke and after the game he, and other members of their vocal support, took us out for beer, chicken and soju. I've been a huge FC Seoul fan ever since. |
4) Eintracht Braunschweig vs Kaiserlautern.
This game marked the 120th anniversary of Eintracht’s formation, or so they say (a lot of German football clubs like to exaggerate the length of their existence based on previous sporting institutions that weren’t necessary initially football teams). This meant we were treated to a spectacular pre-match tifo and display in this wondrous unique ground (albeit awful for views). Kaiserslautern, as they had been when I had seen them in Bochum, were impressive both numerically and vocally, meaning another typically astute atmosphere in German football.
3) Belenenses vs Benfica.
Situated on the west coastal side of Lisbon, Belenenses are the third main team in the city, and despite being one of the only five teams to have ever captured the Portuguese title, they are vastly dwarfed by their superior neighbours. Benfica’s support made up about 80% of the attendance for this derby and they were in absolutely splendid mood as their team ran riot. Pyro, large waves of jumping and non-stop singing were the norm here.
2) Genoa vs Inter Milan.
The noise volume in this game was ridiculous for a club with nothing to play for. The most impressive thing about Genoa wasn’t just the main curvas noise, colour and small pockets of pyro, it was the fact that all four stands actually regularly joined it. You seldom see that anywhere. Two sets of ultras behind either curva make it a constant racket in here. And the 700 or so visitors from Milan were very good value too. Incredible night. The late Genoa winner, the solitary goal in this game, sent the stadium into raptures.
1) Red Star Belgrade v Partizan Belgrade.
We had arranged our week-long trip across the Balkans before the Serbian fixtures had even came out. It was sheer jaw-dropping delirium and delight when we found out Red Star would be hosting the 149th derby on our planned weekend in Belgrade. The Eternal Derby, notorious as one of the fiercest and most violent derbies in the world, let alone Europe, did not disappoint. Well, actually, in terms of noise volumes I’ve actually attended louder games, at Wisla Krakow and Galatasaray to name two. However, this is just a sheer spectacle, and you’re on constant adrenaline throughout, waiting for the next pyro lit trade of insults in ferocious Slavic voices. There’s an added dynamic too – Partizan’s two main ultra-groups are at war with each other and have to be segregated from each other – not that it stops them from fighting.
2
BEST MATCHES SEEN IN 2015/16:5) Eastleigh 2-5 Dover Athletic
A surprisingly decent birthday treat, this one. I've been to Eastleigh a million times before but this was the first time I've been since they've renovated it by constructing some stands with actual elevation. We were pegged back twice in this game; evergreen winger Lee Cook curling in a fantastic free-kick to tie it up at 2-2 in the second half, only for us to blitz them after Ross Flitney received his marching orders for hauling Stefan Payne down in the box. Deverdics duly smashed in his second spot-kick of the night before a comedy goal from Tom Murphy and wonder strike from Ricky Miller sealed it.
4) Hibernian 2-2 Falkirk
Tight, tense play-off nerves from these two? Not a chance - a game more open than the average Dover girl's legs on a Thursday night in the Funky Monkey. Of course, Scottish football is blighted by a notable lack of quality, usually brimmed with lower-league outcasts plucked from the scrapheap of English football, but those on show on this evening attacked freely at will. Hibs, having squandered numerous opportunities in the first half, quickly overturned their deficit in the second and really ought to have killed the tie, only for the hapless obese Conrad Logan to allow a weak snapshot squirm under his gigantic frame late on.
3) Red Star Belgrade 3-1 Partizan Belgrade
I am incredibly lucky that both Krakow and Belgrade derbies I have been to have had open, end-to-end encounters on the field to complement the insane atmospheres off the pitch. Normally you expect such derbies to be characterized by two nervy sets of players aiming to not make mistakes, but this was wide and open and perfect for the neutral. All three Red Star goals were of the highest calibre. Partizan's equalizer on the stroke of half-time was perfect timing for the neutral. That away end got a little bit silly.
2) Peterborough United 2-3 Wigan Athletic
Mid-table Peterborough scored 82 goals this season, the joint highest total alongside the champions, Wigan Athletic. Their 73 against tally was also one of the division's leakiest. Pit these two sides against each other and unsurprisingly you get a frantic, open game. Wigan led this game 2-0 at the break, thanks to an outstanding individual and lovely team goal. Peterborough came out all-guns blazing after the break, eventually forcing an equaliser 10 minutes before full-time, producing some impressive acrobatic celebrations from the goalscorer. Hilariously, they relinquished their equality only 20 seconds after the restart, the brilliantly named Max Power sweeping home an emphatic winner.
1) Boston United 3-3 Harrogate Town
The commonly espoused patronizing nonsense regarding non-league football sometimes makes you want to repeatedly smash your noggin against the wall. Notions of it being value for money, good honest, open football, played in the right way by honest men playing for the love of the game, blah blah blah, tend to be absolute horseshit. But then occasionally, games like this come along, and you regain your faith in the tender semi-professional game. This was a truly compelling end-to-end game with both sides not breathing for a second to bother defending, or bothering to protect their leads with cynical, shithouse, timewasting: characteristic for this level of football. It's probably also the same reason why both sides failed in their respective play-off semi clashes, which is a shame because on the basis of this evening I'd have openly welcomed either club into the Conference.
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| And this penalty was actually saved. |
WORST MATCHES SEEN IN 2015/16:
Football is an incredibly dull sport 90% of the time and I really ought to get a hobby that actually reflects value for money. I've watched some absolute bilge this season. For example, what on earth has happened to The Championship? Usually one of the best leagues in English football, yet now seems to be starved of any excitement or action - just a measly 7 goals in 7 games for me this season.
Yet only one game from that league is making my list.....
5) NK Osijek 3-1 Inter Zapresic
This is proof that high goal tally doesn't = good game. To be fair, 75% of the goals game from the penalty spot! But I remember thinking how incredibly laboured and slow-placed this game was, how distinctly unimpressive the standard was, in spite of Croatia's reasonable prowess as a football nation.
This is proof that high goal tally doesn't = good game. To be fair, 75% of the goals game from the penalty spot! But I remember thinking how incredibly laboured and slow-placed this game was, how distinctly unimpressive the standard was, in spite of Croatia's reasonable prowess as a football nation.
4) Hamburger SV 0-1 Augsburg
I love German football, but one thing you will never hear me championing is the quality or excitement of the matches. In fairness to this one, Hamburg have been perennially shite for years on end now, noted for their lack of ability to score in front of their long suffering fans. I can't remember them registering a serious chance in this game. They were toothless yet again.
I love German football, but one thing you will never hear me championing is the quality or excitement of the matches. In fairness to this one, Hamburg have been perennially shite for years on end now, noted for their lack of ability to score in front of their long suffering fans. I can't remember them registering a serious chance in this game. They were toothless yet again.
3) Hull City 0-0 Sheffield Wednesday
Hull are surely one of the dullest football clubs in the country to exist, aren't they? How tedious that they're back in the top-flight again, despite a general lack of zest for the team in the city. I was amazed that these two sides were the same competing in the play-off final three months later. Thank god Sheffield Wednesday fans were in brilliant noise again on this night, the only redeeming feature about the game.
Hull are surely one of the dullest football clubs in the country to exist, aren't they? How tedious that they're back in the top-flight again, despite a general lack of zest for the team in the city. I was amazed that these two sides were the same competing in the play-off final three months later. Thank god Sheffield Wednesday fans were in brilliant noise again on this night, the only redeeming feature about the game.
2) West Brom 1-0 Sunderland
What happens when you put a Tony Pulis side up against a Sam Allardyce one? Not an awful lot. The Sunderland keeper, that Romanian lanky streak of piss who used to play for Man City, made a howler for one of the scrappiest match-winners in history. The only notable thing else that happened on this afternoon was the controversial James McClean responding to some kind pleasantries from the fans of his former employers, having been hounded for his supposed pro-IRA stance.
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| "A footballer has the audacity to give us some stick back, boooo-hooooo!" |
1) FYR Macedonia 0-1 Spain
Spain have for many years dulled the entire football world with their tedious brand of football; their perchance for "ball retention" often being misunderstood as positive and attacking. When you pit them up against a limited side playing 4-5-1 with absolutely no intention of ever attacking, it makes for an incredibly tiresome game. It took a Juan Mata overhit cross to break through Macedonia's resistance, and they needed it, because they offered very little guile and threat elsewhere, Diego Costa's bluster seemingly completely alien to their tika-taka bullshit.
Spain have for many years dulled the entire football world with their tedious brand of football; their perchance for "ball retention" often being misunderstood as positive and attacking. When you pit them up against a limited side playing 4-5-1 with absolutely no intention of ever attacking, it makes for an incredibly tiresome game. It took a Juan Mata overhit cross to break through Macedonia's resistance, and they needed it, because they offered very little guile and threat elsewhere, Diego Costa's bluster seemingly completely alien to their tika-taka bullshit.
BEST GOALS WITNESSED IN 2015/16:
5) Mauricio Molina (FC SEOUL vs Incheon United).
I'm still undecided whether the Colombian midfielder fully intended the sliced half-volley technique he deployed to open the scoring. Skip to about 3:40 on this video to make your own verdict.
4) Sam Winnall (BARNSLEY vs Walsall)
I had a hashtag #lovelytime at Oakwell the other week and one of these reasons can be attributed to the ON FIRE Winnall, who killed off Walsall's Wembley hopes with this fantastic solo goal. Collecting the ball near the half-way line, he turns and advances straight towards goal with only one thing on mind, using his pace he bursts pasts those chasing him, nutmegs the defender in front of him, then coolly slots past the goalkeeper with his left foot. The speed and dynamism of how quickly this goal happens is most impressive. Stefan Payne will do extremely well to force himself into contention with such competition among his new employers.
3) Son Heung-min (Leicester City vs TOTTENHAM HOTSPURS).
I have long admired this handsome silky prince from his days tearing Bundesliga defences a new arsehole in the jerseys of Bayer Levurkesen and Hamburg. It's a shame his move to our shores has taken him to the self-righteous Cockney spuds, but it was nice to finally watch him in the flesh, even if it meant his crisp effort knocked my adopted city club out of the FA Cup.
2) Ricky Miller (Eastleigh vs DOVER ATHLETIC).
Ricky Miller and Dover Athletic went viral this season after a stunning three touch hoof-ball move was completed by the diminutive forward's violently precise volley. Those of us who know what Miller is all about will know that the goal was no fluke and he has plenty of expertise in finishing. This goal to wrap off our demolition of Eastleigh was absolutely outstanding. Back to goal, defender on him, tightly controls the ball, turns past his man and unleashed a rocket of a strike that almost chips away the paint of the underside of the crossbar.
1) Hugo Vieira vs (RED STAR BELGRADE vs Partizan Belgrade).
If you're going to be the match-winner in one of the most violent derbies in world football, this is a reasonable way to go about it. Admittedly, the ball drops pretty perfectly for him, and he has time to calculate the measurement he needs to execute his half-volley, however, it is still marvelous technique to pull this off in a game of such magnitude. Even greater witnessing it live.
FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF THE 2015/16 SEASON:
5) Bristol City Fooligans Riot.
There is nothing better than seeing fans go into a complete hyperactive and brattish meltdown at the sheer incompetence of their team, choosing to take their own inability out on anything or anyone around them. Bristol City fans paddy in the aftermath of Reading's last-minute winner was spectacular, attacking stewards and attempting to breach the segregation barriers towards the goading locals.
4) Vardy Continues His Run Against Crystal Palace.
When I moved to Leicester for university in September, I don't think anyone could have quite envisaged I would be indulging upon a Premier League title-winning parade only 8 months later. I am pleased that I managed to get tickets for one Premier League game, before the impossibility of purchasing tickets became a reality as the season and dreams progressed. This was a very crappy, scrappy game I went to, but even only during in the middle of Vardy's record breaking run, there was a huge sense of buzz that they were onto something very special. The atmosphere at the KP was electric.
3) Modeste Belts In The Winner At Wrexham.
It's been a while now that I've admitted I don't have the same adoration and feelings for the club I've spent half my life fixated with. Occasionally, just occasionally though, I am reminded of how strong and intense the feelings of joy can be when you're actually bothered about the outcome of a match. This second half winner at such a huge club was a real moment of ecstasy; the knee slide and mass celebrations in front of our 115 travelling fans.
2) Absolute Limbs At Easter Road.
Football is all about the moments that give you goosebumps and make you feel "wow". I can't quite articulate it but when Falkirk opened the scoring at Easter Road, this was one of them. The amount of bodies that went flying, limbs going absolutely everywhere, and just that sheer sense of delirium, reminds you of what the true importance and feeling of football should be all about. Of course, it's better to be among those bodies yourself but seeing an away end erupt as a neutral is one of the best possible sights in football.
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| The mightily impressive 1,500 from Falkirk. |
1) Shagging And Delirium At Prenton Park.
Occasionally, just very occasionally, I'm reminded of the sense of everything I so loved about my club; the togetherness, the good-feeling, the spirit, the drunken camaraderie. At Tranmere, it was one of those weekends where everything just seemed to click together. We took very good numbers by our standards - almost 200 for the long trip - and took over the fantastic pubs across Liverpool city centre in jovial spirits. Our performance on the field at Prenton Park was replicative of many of our others across the season - determined, tight and with a moment of magic to separate us at the other end - once again provided by Ricky Miller. All our fans were cohesively in great noise throughout the game and it was a reminder of why I so proudly identified myself as a Dover supporter. The perfect away performance against another huge club. Only thirteen years earlier on this day I had seen us easily defeated at Stafford Rangers in my first ever away game - a huge indicator of how much the club has progressed - sadly, however, neglecting and leaving many of us behind.
Having drunkenly, sloppily got my end away with some northern tart in a travelodge on the previous evening, this truly was the perfect football weekender.
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| And this was BEFORE we won. |
BEST FANS OF THE 2015/2016 SEASON:
In this category I just want to give a shout out to some brilliant fanbases I've encountered this season but haven't had the chance to mention it elsewhere.
5) Incheon United
Incheon's TNT ultras mob won over my heart after singing their team on to victory, non-stop for 120 minutes, in their FA Cup outing over in Jeju. Bare in mind their national cup seems to be treated with the same sincerity as we do with our regional senior cups. And with this being a mid-week tie, on an island that's a 90 minute flight away from Seoul, I was vastly impressed to see the presence of any away fans at all.
4) ITK Goteborg
Sweden might be eye-wateringly expensive but the football is affordably priced and they have a matchday culture that seems to blend in the best parts of UK and Southern Europe football culture. ITK Goteborg have a profoundly loud set of ultras but the noise and blue & white colours envelop around the entire stadium on matchdays.
3) Sheffield Wednesday
Wednesday fans are consistently brilliant wherever they go. It's no secret that I wish I was a Yorkshireman and that I supported the blue half of the steel city. They undoubtedly win the 'best chant of the season' award too;
CARLOS HAD A DREAM, TO BUILD A FOOTBALL TEAM
HE HAD NO MONEY SO HE HAD TO SIGN THEM ON LOAN
WE BUILD FROM THE BACK, RIGHT OUT TO ATTACK,
WE'RE SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY, WE'RE ON OUR WAY BACK,
2) Harrogate Town
From what I've gathered from my northern chums, Harrogate is supposedly just the posh tory suburb district of Leeds. So I wasn't really expecting any numbers at all when they played in Lincolnshire on a Tuesday night, however, the 30 or so that travelled were pound-for-pound the best and most consistent fans I've encountered this season. Just non-stop singing throughout.
1) Hellas Verona
Bottom of the league, 3 wins all season. Another last minute capitulation in this one. Still sang their players off after the whistle. Amazing vocal support.
BEST FOODS CONSUMED IN THE 2015/16 SEASON:
5) Chocolate Hazelnut Ice Cream, ITK Goteborg.
We're all big kids at heart, aren't we? I WANT A FUCKING ICE CREAM.
4) Chilli Con Carne, Kidderminster Harriers.
The one beneficial point to being in a relationship with a girl who supports a club that has been squatting at Aggborough, is that when I do get dragged along there I know I am guaranteed a decent spot of scran if I want it. This time around I am going to include their chilli con carne effort, which would rank higher if it wasn't for the disappointingly watery nature of the rice. The chilli itself had a nice spicy kick and the perfect consistency of mince and kidney beans.
3) Spicy Currywurst, Eintracht Braunschweig.
No list would be complete without the customary inclusion of a German sausage. Most of my culinary pig-outs were conducted at the amazing market stalls during my pre-Christmas visit, although I did manage to squeeze in a localized currywurst dish at Braunschweig's ground, which had added levels of spice to the usual sweetish flavour .
2) Sausage, Chips and Curry Sauce, AFC Rushden & Diamonds.
This is what non-league food should be all about. Cheap and fucking cheerful. Not £3 for a wanky cone of overcooked jockeys whips. Chips and curry sauce is always a divine combination but the plentiful portions and value for money (£2.30) makes it such a worthy inclusion on the list.
1) Macaroni Pie, Dundee.
Those of you unfamiliar with the delights of Scottish cuisine, you will probably be completely aghast to the thought of macaroni cheese pasta encased in pastry. It sounds wrong on so many levels. But while it may spiral your cholesterol levels, it will tickle your taste buds even more. Just beautiful.
BEST PUBS OF THE 2015/16 SEASON:
5) Six Degrees North, Aberdeen.
As the birth region of Brewdog and the inaugural pub of their business enterprise, Aberdeen's prominence on the craft beer scene is well documented. But Six Degrees North is even better, heavily influenced by Belgian style beers rather US style heavily-citrused hopbombs. And unlike Brewdog, it caters towards cask ale drinkers as well. The choice and selection is immense. Fantastic brewpub and the prices are surprisingly reasonable for the type of place frequented by bearded Guardianistas.
4) Alexander Hotel, Derby.
Derby is one of the meccas for CAMRA card-carrying twats like myself and you can fully see why, with its immense plethora of pubs. I must go again for a day session at some point because I only ticked off the two near the station; this and the Brunswick Inn. I'm selecting this one though because of the brilliant (functioning) train station clock and because I'm a big fan of Castle Rock beers; its aligned brewery.
3) The Lion & Key, Hull.
Probably one of the prettiest pubs I have been to this season. Proper tudor house with homely beer geek decor. The grub menu was superb. Had an awesome fish and chips - top on tripadvisor for restaraunts with justification. Did I mention the bar has twelve cask ale and cider pumps? Nope. Ok.
2) Bridge Bier Huis, Burnley.
This German inspired beer pub off Burnley high street is an absolute gem. Proper beer pub but at Northern prices - £2.50 a cask ale and only £3-3.50 for their premium pilsener lagers.
1) Coach And Horses, Sheffield FC.
Sheffield FC; the oldest football club in the world. Forget about the club's claim for longevity though, the main striking thing is how fucking brilliant the pub is, which is on the site of the ground, is named after it AND pairs up as a substitute for a clubhouse - you can pop in and enter here at half-time. We failed to emerge back out for the second half. Why? Six Thornbridge (best brewery in the country right now IMHO) cask ales, indie music, wood fires and proper pub food.
FAVOURITE UNIQUE GROUND FEATURES 2015/16
This is just a part where I can include some cool ground features or matchday idiosyncrasies that I haven't been able to elsewhere.
Aberdeen Turnstiles
Aberdeen is renowned as the 'Granite City', this moniker is reflected in the turnstiles for the Merkland Stand,
Dundee Grounds
I've long been aware of the close proximity between the two Dundee clubs but I never realised they were THAT close together. It's probably no more than 50 metres between one stand the from the end of one stand to the other.
St Pauli probably deserves to be in the best foreign list ahead of a few others, But I'm probably unfairly discriminating against them because of their wanky faux-communist pretence. The iconic Milternator has some seriously cool terraced stands, including this one, my favourite, with the complimenting art on the side.
Osijek Graffiti
It's a shame that they didn't practice what they preach but hey, this is pretty AWEEEEESOME.
Rampaging Boars In Genoa
Genoa is a seriously hilly city that is prone to devastating bouts of floods, thus there are qater barrier defences that you cross immediately from the vicinity outside the ground. Have a glance down there and you'll see several boars casually #havingalovelytime among themselves. I wouldn't fancy coming here as a pissed up away fan and thinking I could one of them on after far too many a peroni.
Before last season commenced I set myself a list of aims to try and achieve before the season started. They were;
- "Barrow, Tranmere, Guiseley (Leeds Weekender) and Forest Green all away" - All of these did indeed get dealt with. Unfortunately Barrow came when I was without free travel and set me back £80 for the train! Next season my targets with Dover remain the same - do the four available new grounds on offer - Maidstone United, Solihull Moors, North Ferriby United and York City - hopefully making weekends out of the latter two. For the first time ever, getting tickets for a Dover away game could be tricky regarding Maidstone. Their allocation of 300 tickets for away fans mean now I'm reduced to part-time status, I could very well struggle, unless we play them once they've implemented their planned ground expansion.
- "Sarajevo and/or Belgrade derbies" - Achieved. I desperately wanted to do the Sarajevo derby - two of my travel buddies from Belgrade did in April and it looked absolutely insane. Sadly it came at bad timing for me.
- "One German soccer trip at Christmas, probably centred around Nuremberg/Bavaria" - While we decided on North Germany instead, going to Germany in the Christmas market season was a truly magical experience. If I can guarentee I can blag work off again this time around then I'd love to repeat this experience. Bavaria remains very much a contender for my annual German trip, but Stuttgart, Karlsruhe and Leipzig are also very much in consideration.
- "Try and get #twitter92 tally up to at least 60 from 41, including most of the Midlands" - Missed this target - just. York City's relegation meant my total could have just slipped over to the 60 mark, however, West Ham's decision to leave Upton Park means it remains at 59. This season I'd like to get to at least 75, possibly higher if I stop working on Saturdays. And I still have a fair few local-ish Midland ones still to do - Northampton, Chesterfield, Stoke and Port Vale still on offer.
- "Avoid any fixture involving Boreham Wood" - Mission complete. And a good job too - their customary 3-0 trouncing of us came when we were in an immense run of form. Obviously.
- "Apply for Euro16 tickets for any fixtures in Lens. Though I'm not overly fussed about watching football in France as it's a shit country with shit football culture (a few clubs aside). Would rather break my international tournament duck in Russia 2018 tbh. - I applied for lots of tickets but nothing came to fruition. I very nearly snapped up some late tickets for Romania v Albania but the costs and effort into getting there would have been rather silly to pursue with my finances and the travel plans I already have in place. Never mind.
This season I already have a few exciting football experiences lined up. With university, I managed to blag myself a travel scholarship grant in relation to a module I am undertaking next year, so I will be jetting off to Shanghai next month and will be watching Sven Goran Erikson's club side. Asamoah Gyan is among their employees!
Late August and the turn of September a few of us are undertaking a lengthy trip across Eastern Europe - we are spending two nights in Poznan and Warsaw before jetting onwards to Georgia for a week. The national side are playing Austria so that will add another hipster international fixture to my repertoire. Then we're flying home via a few nights in Istanbul - so fingers crossed this time around I will get a game in at Besikitas's rebuilt stadium and possibly Fenerbahce at all.
Once I'm back at university I'm probably going to have to be sensible and reign in the continental trips a bit. I've been aiming for a new country every month of the year and so far I'm on 7 in 6! I have to admit, after a blistering first semester at uni I tailed off quite a bit in the second, safeguarded by peers telling me "first year doesn't count", my assignment marks dropping off from firsts to 2:1s and 2:2s in the second semester. I need to regain focus as next year is very important. I'm losing my free train pass when I turn 25 in September so I'll finally be forced to grow up and join the real world a little bit.
That said, some of us plan to do the Old Firm derby next season and that's a plausible aim. I'd rather do it at Celtic Park, despite detesting the club, it's a new ground for me. Morocco over the new year is a distinct possibility. Football over there looks utterly fucking bonkers. And I want to visit Bulgaria at some point as well. Wizzair and Ryanair have opened up very cheap flight routes to Sofia from Birmingham so it will get dealt with.
Furthermore, it is an ambition of mine to meet the two most legendary groundhoppers on the interweb; the Welsh maestro 'Lost Boyo', famous for his signature double thumbs pose, and Russell Cox, a Wycombe supporter with a lovely smile.
Thanks for reading, hope this has killed 15 minutes of your life, and see you all again soon. As I say, I always use this site to upload my football pictures, so regularly check if you're ever arsed about what I'm up to.
Ciao.
(Actually, here's the definitive list of games I went to this season).
Dover games
attended 2015/16
1) Barrow
2-1 Dover
2) Dover
2-1 Altrincham
3) Dover
0-0 Chester
4) Bromley
1-1 Dover
5) Southport
0-0 Dover
6) Eastleigh
2-5 Dover
7) Tranmere
0-1 Dover
8) Forest
Green 3-1 Dover
9) Halifax
4-2 Dover
10) Welling
1-2 Dover
11) Dover
2-3 Bromley
12) Lincoln
2-3 Dover
13) Guiseley
0-3 Dover (FA Trophy)
14) Guiseley
0-1 Dover
15) Dover
5-0 Torquay
16) Dover
1-0 Halifax
17) Wrexham
0-1 Dover
18) Kidderminster
1-1 Dover
19) Dover
0-1 FGR (POS)
6 home, 13 away.
Foreign games attended 2015/2016
1) Jeju
United 0-2 Incheon United (aet)
2) FC
Seoul 2-0 Incheon United
3) FYR
Macedonia 0-1 Spain
4) Red
Star Belgrade 3-1 Partizan Belgrade
5) NK
Osijek 3–1 Inter Zapresic
6) St
Pauli 1-2 Karlsruhe
7) Hamburger
SV 0-1 Augsburg
8) Eintracht
Braunschweig 1-1 Kaiserslautern
9) Belenensens
0-5 Benfica
10) FS
Metta 2-1 BFC Daubavils
11) Hellas
Verona 1-2 Frosinone
12) Como
1-1 Caligari
13) Genoa
1-0 Inter Milan
14) Hibernian
2-2 Falkirk
15) Dundee
1-1 Kilmarnock
16) Aberdeen
0-1 Hearts
17) Hacken
3-1 Jonkoping Sodra
18) Goteburg
1-1 Nordkopping
19) Zalgaris
v Trakai
Great 92 games attended 2015/2016
1) Chelsea
0-1 Fiorentina (PSF)
2) Wolves
3-0 Huddersfield
3) Leicester
1-0 Crystal Palace
4) West
Brom 1-0 Sunderland
5) Derby
1-0 QPR
6) Notts
County 4-2 Barnet
7) Mansfield
1-1 Leyton Orient
8) Peterborough
2-3 Wigan Athletic
9) Reading
1-0 Bristol City
10) Oxford
United 1-2 Bristol Rovers
11) Oldham
Athletic 0-1 Bury
12) Leicester
City 0-2 Tottenham (FA Cup)
13) Leeds
United 0-0 Middlesbrough
14) Liverpool
1-0 Augsburg
15) Hull
City 0-0 Sheffield Wednesday
16) Walsall
0-0 Scunthorpe United
17) Bolton
Wanderers 1-0 Hull City
18) Burnley
1-0 QPR
19) Barnsley
3-0 Walsall
20) Plymouth
0-1 Wimbledon (POF @ Wembley)
Non-league Miscellaneous 15/16:
1) Oadby
Town 2-1 Sleaford Town
2) Boston
United 3-3 Harrogate Town
3) Sheffield
0-2 Leek Town
4) Ilkeston
0-3 Stamford
5) Stourbridge
2-0 Marine
6) Worcester
5-0 Stalybridge
7) Oadby
Town 1-2 Rothwell Corinthians
8) AFC
Rushden 6-1 Arlesey
9) Alvechurch
4-1 Rocester
10) Worcester
1-1 Alfreton
11) Worcester
0-0 FC United
12) Hednesford
0-1 Worcester
13) Chorley
2-1 AFC Telford
Most visited grounds:
1) Crabble
– Dover (6 times)
2) Aggborough
– Kiddermisnter (4 times)
3) Oadby,
Leicester, Guiseley (2 times)
Biggest Attendances:
1) Plymouth
Argyle vs AFC Wimbledon (59,925)
2) Hamburger
SV vs FC Augsburg (49,726)
3) Liverpool
vs FC Augsburg (43,081)
4) Chelsea
vs Fiorentina (41,435)
5) Red
Star Belgrade v Partizan Belgrade (40,261)
Highest Scoring Games:
1) AFC
Rushden & Diamonds 6-1 Arseley Town
2) Eastleigh
2-5 Dover Athletic
3) FC
Halifax Town 4-2 Dover Athletic
4) Notts
County 4-2 Barnet
5) Boston
United 3-3 Harrogate Town
Total games: 71.
Total new grounds: 50.
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