However, the delightful news is that it that this year it is back, thus giving you something to have a flick through while you're curling out a fat one on the johns later on.
This has been my nonciest season to date, turning out to 83 games (previous best being 79), encompassing a whopping 56 new grounds. It's been a season that has taken in the best ground I have ever been to, and the best game that I have ever seen.
Given the amount of money I've pissed up the wall and the time I have wasted pursuing this ultimately pointless and futile hobby, it is primarily for my own benefit to #reflect and look back on these seasons. But of course, you're more than welcome to read through it. In the traditional format, I will talk through my favourite (and least) points of the season in a series of tedious categories.
FAVOURITE NON-LEAGUE GROUNDS VISITED IN 2018/19
I am going to have to expand this to 10 entrants this year, rather than the usual 5. This is the first year since I have been living in Leicester for university that I've had Saturday afternoons off work. Thus a proliferation of non-league destinations has been made possible, especially with my scope of new 92 grounds now tightening. I've been able to go to some absolute gems this year. Living in the Midlandshires has really helped rediscover my love for non-league football, you certainly get more unique and characterful grounds in this part of the isles than down south.
It's been so difficult to condense these into a list that I'm even going to have to list some honourable mentions here. So Sutton Coldfield Town (unique mainstand, cracking jockies), AFC Fylde and Salford City (both sterile, modern grounds but quality facilities and had cracking days out at both), Harrogate Town (not well equipped for bigger gates in the Conference, but nice ground), Hyde (quality terracing), Coventry United (see further below) can all consider themselves unlucky to be exempted from these prestigious awards.
10) Gresley AFC - The Moat Ground
This is a ground that has supposedly been earmarked for demolition for years now. This is a really interesting place. Gresley had won the Dr Martens Premier back in 1996/1997, in a star-studded league containing many future league clubs, including local neighbours Burton Albion. However, they were denied ground-grading for promotion to the Conference. It is unsurprising to see why. One end of the ground is simply a wall that backs into terraced houses. The ground doesn't seem to have had any modifications in the past half century. But it is a ground oozing with old-school character and has a smart main stand.
9) Redditch United - The TRICO Stadium
Redditch have a really cool ground; one that caught my eye on the internet years ago because it used to have a really bizarre temporary structure behind one end. That's disappeared now, but the other 3 sides boast some quality terracing and one of the most architecturally unusual main stands you'll find. You get cracking views from the bar in its upper level too - which was handy as it was brass monkeys when I went. The only one main drawback I have with this ground is the 3G pitch. I'm not a dinosaur and generally I advocate all-weather pitches in the lower regions of non-league, however, you can't deny that they reduce some of the character. Especially when wheeled, roll-on goals are on kept on the side of the pitch.
8) Banbury United - Spencer Stadium
It was the most grimmest weather conditions when we came here in mid-December - so much so that we watched the second half from the comfort of the (fantastic) bar window. Massive spending, champions-elect Kettering received a shock hiding on the afternoon. It's a shame I couldn't enjoy it more as it is a cracking ground with a superb terrace behind the goal, which has the name of the club painted in contrasted colours at the back of it.
7) Frickley Athletic - Westfield Lane
Frickley are a club who were once among the elite back in non-league's glory days - they finished third in the Alliance Premier back in 1985/86, the same season in which they hosted local neighbours Rotherham United in the FA Cup. It is based in the old Yorkshire mining town of South Elmsley and in the backdrop of the ground you can view the old slagheaps. Its got an absolutely phenomenal main stand, has a decent club bar (albeit shit beer) and sells some cracking scran.
6) Tamworth - The Lamb
One major disappointment with my three years of uni here has been a real dearth of nearby Midlands clubs to travel to with Dover; the likes of Telford, Nuneaton, Alfreton and indeed, Tamworth, getting relegated in the preceding years. And now they're actually pissing around two levels below, a stage that really isn't befitting of this cracker of a ground.
5) March Town United - The GER Stadium
When I saw the majesticness of this glorious wooden stand on the internet, and read that it has been earmarked for demolition for some time, I knew I had to go there. It helps that this small Cambridgeshire town is direct on the train from Leicester.
Fuck knows why they wish to replace this beaut, they're a Step 6 club with plenty of space to build around other sides of the ground.
It should be a grade one listed building, like that famous one at Great Yarmouth (also on the to-do list!).
I can buy any argument from anyone that this should be top of the list. It is an absolutely stunning ground with some of the most pornographic terracing you could envision. The backdrop of the Welsh valleys, particularly on the stunning Easter weekend we visited, is an added bonus. So too is the mammoth roofed terrace along one side of the ground. It is a steamer all round. This ground drops points on the same technicalities as Redditch - its 3G pitch. It also didn't help matters we watched an absolutely stinking dead rubber goalless draw which neither team registered a serious shot on target.
3) Hitchin Town - Top Field
Again, in any other year this would trounce all other contenders, and I would accept any calls that this should be top of the pile. Apart from Lewes, I can't think of any grounds in the South that are this standout in character. Top Field is famous for its looped stands with rows of wooden benching. It's quite amazing they haven't been replaced or knocked down in this day and age to be honest, but I'm delighted they still are remaining. They are very slippery when damp! I also really liked the bar here - decent bottle of Ghost Ship for £3.50. The only drawback was Joe's jockies - they were soggy and the curry sauce was like lukewarm diarrhoea.
2) Stocksbridge Park Steels - Bracken Moor Stadium
Okay - there are better grounds on this list, I will admit. The previous two should be above it on a technical level. But in terms of personal favourites, Jamie Vardy's hometown club seduced me like absolutely none other. Absolutely ooozing in character and the natural beauty of the Sheffieldshire rolling hills only increased my erection. The club bar overlooking the pitch was the best of the season too - serving pints of ale from the fantastic Bradfield brewery at £2.80 a pint. This ground epitomises everything that is good about non-league.
1) Halesowen Town - The Grove.
Halesowen were league opponents of Dover's in the first season I started properly watching us - the famous 2002/03 Dr Martens Premier which I have subsequently taken up as a groundhopping challenge. It is a ground that I've always wanted to visit since before the internet unveiled the mystique and mystery. The picture of its densed blue terracing was the highlight of the old Non League Directory guide.
It is magical terracing porn. The banked stand behind the goal. The food. The bar. It is everything you could want and expect from a proper non league ground.
What I'd give to have a trophy tie or something here one day.
FAVOURITE FOOTBALL LEAGUE GROUNDS VISITED IN 2018/19
Usually I don't include revisits in these categories, but given I only visited a handful of new ones, and many of these stadiums I visited prior to starting these review blogs, I will permit it. I went to 16 league grounds this season, but only 6 of them were new ticks. With Yeovil's relegation to the Banarama League, I end this season on 81/92.
5) Cardiff City - Cardiff City Stadium
I don't particularly like Cardiff City, I think they're a grotty club and being surrounded by scruffy tracksuited cunts was an unpleasant experience. And boy, I would much rather have come here for Ninian Park than for another modern bore. I'm including it on the premise that it exceeded expectations for a new build though, and it highlights the vast improvement that they've made on the similar identikit bowls of Southampton, Derby and Leicester. The addition of a towering two-tiered stand on the west side really gives it more flavour. But it's the facilities that are a noticeable improvement; Leicester's concourse is absolutely fucking dreadful, for example, you're squished like sardines trying to get for a half-time slash and as for a pint, you can forget it. But Cardiff's was actually spacious with a lot going on. I'm also a fan of the ground being in a walkable distance from the city centre.
4) Scunthorpe United - Glanford Park
Scunthorpe is also listed in here due to
Another one that managed to defy my preconceptions. You can tell that is is definitely one of the oldest "new" grounds, apart from its lack of central location you could walk into Glanford Park and be forgiven for assuming it is 100 years old rather than 30. I guess you could opine that part of its appeal is that is feels like an old dump and the facilities are already feeling tired and worn. And obstructing supporting stanctions? Like being back at Crabble. But I thought it was a decent, compact ground. A sold out Sunderland away end helped matters.
3) Stockport County - Edgeley Park
"BuT sToCkPoRt ArEnT a LeAgUe ClUb" - go suck yer nan.
It is a football league ground in everything but name.
I'm a sucker for any proper old stadium that's situated amongst terraced housing.
There's less pressure for me to go there with Dover next season now but I'd love to be in the away end next time.
2) Nottingham Forest - The City Ground
The most picturesque location for any proper stadium in this country - without a doubt. What a revisit this was, scabbing a £5 ticket for a midweek game against Millwall. More on that later.
1) Aston Villa - Villa Park
Along with the likes of Goodison Park, Old Trafford, and SJP: Villa Park is truly in the elite tier of stadiums in this country. It had been five years since I sat at the back of the Holte End to watch Christian Benteke put Norwich to the sword with a spectacular overhead kick on a miserable Sunday afternoon. Revisiting VP on a whim on a midweek night would turn out to be one of the best groundhopping decisions I have ever made.....
FAVOURITE NON-ENGLISH GROUNDS VISITED IN 2018/2019
I've enjoyed trips to Scotland (2 games), *Wales (1), Poland (2), Spain (2), Greece (3) and Ukraine (3) this season. Statistically that's one of my least impressive for quite a few years now, but quality over quantity innit?
*In the anally pedantic/Asperger's world of groundhopping, the likes of Cardiff, Wrexham and Merthyr don't count as Welsh grounds because they play in the English pyramid.
5) Celtic - Celtic Park
This might incite any of my Brexit/EDL mates who are reading this but the cliche about special European nights at Celtic is one that is warranted. Almost 45,000 crammed in for this Europa League qualifier against the Lithuanian minnows of FK Suduva. They'd actually only drawn in the first leg so there was some genuine uneasiness going into the game, particularly after they had bottled their Champions League qualifier against AEK, but super Leigh Griffiths helped see the job through.
4) Apollon Smyrnis - Georgios Kamaras Stadium
Fixtures fell beautifully for us in Greece. Apollon were scheduled to play at 4pm on the Sunday noon, prior to the 7.30pm kick off at the Olympic Stadium for AEK. Luckily it's only 4 or 5 stops directly north on the metro from here. And this was the perfect warm up. It's a shame fewer than 500 people turned out to watch top-flight football here. They ended up finishing rock bottom, and there was a big scrap in the stand during the second-half here with a few fans appearing to attack the owners in the VIP area.
3) Olympia Donetsk - Stadion Dynamo im. Valery Lobonosky
This ground belongs to Dynamo Kyiv, but Arsenal Kyiv and Olympia Donestk play their games here, the latter playing their games 400 miles away due to the ongoing war in Donbass. As a tourist you're likely to encounter the ground if you're walking through the riverside park that leads to the Friendship of Nations Arch. Indeed, during this game there were plenty of people watching from the top of the gates.
The stadium is phenomenal. Your archetype Eastern European bowl but unlike many, the stadium is kept in great condition. The floodlights? My word. Spafftastic.
2) Karpaty Lviv - Stadion Ukraini
Despite its Polish past, Lviv is now the most ethnically Ukrainian city in the country. The city is a hotbed of Ukrainian nationalism and this stadium embodies that. The sighting of the Ukrainian flag colour coded seating on either side gives it the visual edge over Stadion Dynamo, as well as that one end has had all seats removed to make for a beautiful terrace.
1) Valencia - Mestalla Stadium.
It will take something ridiculous to ever beat the Mestalla. A fucking incredible place that no amount of photos or words will be able to do it justice. The sheer steepness of the place... just wow. I was in complete awe the whole time while there. Breathtaking, honestly.
LEAST FAVOURITE GROUNDS VISITED IN 2018/19
Please bare in mind this list is all relatively to the level the grounds host football at, I'm not going to fatten this out with step 6/7 stuff because you're not expecting Dronfield Town to look like San Siro.
5) Slask Wroclaw - Wroclaw Stadium
I didn't think the ground itself was awful - a single tiered 40,000 capacity stadium is quite impressive going tbh. And I am used to massive white elephant structures from my time Korea so I felt adept being here. Also, I fucking loved the go-kart racing track underneath the stadium, even though the Poles I was racing gave me an absolute pasting. But the reason I'd taken to the tracks in the first place is because the stadium is miles outside the centre with naff all urbanisation around it, thus absolutely nowhere to drink. Once inside, the ambience was predictably shocking. Most underwhelming experience I had all season; their ultras were shit and couldn't be arsed. A few weeks later they're all over Ultras Tifo for their spectacular pyro show against Legia. Sums up Polish football at the top level. Hardly anyone bothers turning out for it unless it's a big game.
4) Miedz Legnica - Main Stadium and Training Ground
For my weekend in Wroclaw, I managed to acquire one of the last few tickets to see Miedz Legnica host Legia Warsaw at their 6,000 capacity ground. With this being their first ever season in the top flight, I was expecting a hostile atmosphere. But it was just a very meh evening all-round to be honest. Their ultras were boring and repetitive. The ground was like some generic blueprint you'd find on a football manager game.
Most shamefully of all though, in the afternoon I decided to check out their reserves game as they play in the fourth division. It was just a running track with a small stand of a few hundred seats. I retreated to the pub after the first-half, ashamed of myself for tagging along to this and giving my ground tally an almost artificial boost. I actually feel guilty for including it, but fuck it, it was an official game.
3) Barry Town United - Jenner Park
In fairness, it had character, but I'm still accustomed to immediately dismiss most athletics track grounds as shite. The weather was utterly rancid on the evening and I swiftly fucked off before the game went to extra-time.
2) Coalville Town - Owen Sports Ground
This is probably a bit harsh - it's perfectly efficient enough for the level they play at. But compared the absolute quality in their league - the likes of Halesowen, Tamworth, Redditch and Banbury all featured in my best list, this ground is seriously lacking. They are a pumped up county league side at it shows. Some hurriedly rushed metal cover is placed around the ground but without any elevation for viewing. It is adequate, but as Leicestershire's best performing non-league club, it does show how poor the county is for its football scene outside of the Foxes. There were only 127 there on the night too, very poor by that level, fewer people than had attended the March Town v Cornard United game I had been on the Saturday - three levels below.
1) AEK Athens - Olympic Stadium
It's not just the god-awful views from this monster of a stadium that make it a shocking place to watch football, but the facilities and terrible layout/design make it a ghastly place to be all round. To even go for a piss you need to navigate a map. Absolute stinker of a ground, baffling it's deemed fit enough to hold Champions League finals.
BEST ATMOSPHERES EXPERIENCED IN 2018/19
5) Stoke City 0-1 Birmingham City, Championship.
I'm surprised that I've included a standard English league game on here, but this all-Midlands (ish) affair was genuinely rather decent. It was Stoke's biggest crowd of the season and fuck me, when they get going, they are genuinely loud. Their second half version of Deliliah actually gave me goosebumps. The Blues played their part too, a late Che Adams winner saw some absolute limbs in their away end as they tasted the sweet feeling of sticking one over the slimy, arrogant cunt Gary Rowett.
4) Nuneaton Borough 0-3 Stockport County, Conference North.
This is the first game I have ever been to where the home side have basically been segregated to a tiny corner of their own ground! Stockport's long overdue exit from regional football was sealed on the final day of the season at the Liberty Way, almost 3,500 County fans travelling to Warwickshire. It was a massive party atmosphere all round.
3) Queens Park Rangers 3-0 Union Berlin, Pre-Season Friendly.
1,600 Eisern fans descended upon Loftus Road for a friendly and they were in brilliant form. I received a lot of stick on twitter when one of my tweets went semi-viral; me pointing out that away ends where everyone is in colour look absolutely brilliant. But it's true. How spectacular does this picture look?
2) AEK Athens 1-1 PAOK, Greek Super League.
This could have potential to have been one of my best of all time. Unfortunately the banning of away fans took the sting out of this. But going into the stadium, the noise from the Greeks was electric. It's something with to do with that part of the Mediterranean. Only have I heard the Turks louder in voice.
1) University of Leicester 3-0 De Montfort University, Varsity Final.
A bunch of cringey knobheads from a second rate university singing about how their parents are richer and how they are intellectually superior to the students of a slightly shitter university. I was half-hoping we'd actually get battered in this one for a change.
1) Shakhtar Donetsk 1-1 Dynamo Kyiv, Ukrainian Cup QF.
LOOOOOOOOOOOL just kidding etc.
I had unbelievable fixture luck for my last minute trip to Ukraine as well. After a lot of dossing about postponing league fixtures due to the presidential election, this Cup Quarter Final between the two biggest clubs was scheduled at the weekend instead.
It was a brilliant cup tie and an electric atmosphere as 30,000 turned up in Kharkiv.
What a city that is btw.
BEST MATCHES SEEN IN 2018/2019
5) Nottingham Forest 2-2 Millwall, Championship.
The first half was pretty non-descript until Forest took the lead through a fantastic ping from Joe Lolley against the run of play. Then in the second half the floodlights went out and the game was delayed by 15 minutes until they could get the power back on! A quality free-kick from Joao Carvalho after the re-start seemed to ensure the three points for Forest, but Castel Pantillimon in goal had other ideas. How that clown still gets a gig at Championship level I do not know. He had been slicing clearances in the first half so it was no surprise to see he was in no-mans land when Millwall pulled one back with 15 to go. That set-up a nervy finish and Pantillimon was again caught out of position as Lee Gregory prodded in from close range to seal a point in injury time. It was highly amusing to watch a few of the Millwall fans run across the segregation barrier in the ensuing carnage to goad the Forest fans.
4) Manchester City 6-1 Huddersfield Town, Premier League
Granted, Huddersfield were absolutely garbage throughout the season, but this was a glorious treat seeing City completely dismantle a team like that. They could have genuinely have racked up double figures in this season opener and we just sat back and watched on quietly in admiration. Much like the rest of the Man City crowd.
3) Swansea City 4-3 Rotherham United, Championship
This was a dead rubber for the Swans, but Rovrum really needed something here to stand a chance of staying up. They led twice in the first half with goals from set-pieces, but Swans came back to put them to sword with some great team goals. Rotherham scored a cracker late on to set up a nervy finish, piling on the pressure as 6 minutes of injury time were added, but it was to turn out to be a consolation.
2) Salford City 1-3 Dover Athletic
I make no secret of the fact that I'm nowhere near as enamoured by my football club as I was once was. Still, there are moments and times where you really have that passion and joy re-invoked, and are reminded why you have the club's badge tattooed on your shoulder. This was certainly one of those occasions, and the biggest buzz I've had from a Dover game in years. Salford's eye-watering spending amid the "Class of 92" wankfest has undoubtedly made them the team most clubs wanted to stick one over and we managed to do that. We fell behind to a quality opportunistic goal from 40 yards out but turned the game around to deservedly seal the points, including an absolute gem of a finish from Jai Reason to put the icing on the cake. Roughly 150 Dovorians travelled to Mancunia (home of the Stone Roses, The Beatles, Nickleback etc all the cool indie bands) which is very good numbers by our standards.
I'll be honest though, for all the stick the CO92 receive for financially doping a county level club, it was a real starstruck moment to see Phil Neville from such a close distance.
1) Aston Villa 5-5 Nottingham Forest
One of those absolutely mental, once-in-a-lifetime, games that left me absolutely speechless after leaving the stadium. You would look at the scoreline and would assume so, but it wasn't even necessarily a case of two teams defending like absolute morons; every time each side had possession they looked to attack and invariably they ended up scoring.
1-0: 3'
2-0: 6'
1-2: 11'
2-2: 14'
2-3: 22'
3-3: 36' (P)
3-4: 51'
4-4: 71'
5-4: 75'
5-5: 82'
A sending off. A hat-trick. A late disallowed goal. The game had absolutely everything. I've never ever seen anything like it. And doubt I ever will again.
BEST GOALS SEEN IN 2018/19
10) Sean Stewart: East Stirlingshire vs Vale of Leithen
Normally with a lot of lower-level goals you watch highlights back and what it seemed like a spectacular goal in real time was actually just a mis-hit, a fluke, or terrible goalkeeping. I have no benefit of hindsight with this one, but I do recall the opening goal being such a crisp, cleanly hit, volley drilled into the bottom corner. I knew I'd be richly rewarded with footballing artistry in the Lowland League.
9) Leigh Griffiths: Celtic v FK Suduva
It was an absolute honour to see one of the legends of the Scottish game in the flesh. This was Griffiths 100th goal for the famous green-white hoops and it was befitting of his illustrious career. A perfect left-footed free-kick that was destined to reach the back of the onion sack the moment it left his wand of a foot. View Here.
8) Miguel Angel Guerrero: Olympiacos vs Panionios
The kind of goal that always gives me a hard-on. A quickly whipped cross met by a perfect, glancing, diving header. Even though he was completely unmarked, you can't take away that aerial movement. View Here.
7) Lewis Wing: Middlesbrough vs Crystal Palace
A League Cup tie with the opposing managers being Tony Pulis and Roy Hodgson was inevitably going to be a tedious slogfest. And indeed it was, bar this long-range thunderbolt from Lewis Wing to spare us the pain of having to endure extra-time. View Here.
6) Dennis Politic: Salford City vs Dover Athletic
Although it was yet another error from Mitch Walker to gift them with this goal because of his poor clearance, you have to give the bloke credit for a brilliant moment of opportunism and striking it so cleanly. View Here.
5) Adam Hamill: Scunthorpe United vs Sunderland
If there was a video definition for the footballing term 'absolute peach', it would be this. When the ball dropped to Hamill on the edge of the box, he had time to take a touch and aim. But there was a still a pool of bodies to navigate his shot past, with Sunderland desperately trying to cling onto the three points. But his sweet strike evaded everyone and couldn't have found the corner of the frame any sweeter. This was his debut as well! View Here.
4) Jai Reason: Salford City vs Dover Athletic
It's safe to say I wasn't overly impressed when Dover signed an "ageing, over-the-hill, here for an easy pay cheque" Jai Reason who hadn't been pulling up many strings in the Conference South when we signed him. But it's safe to say he's been a class act in our surge towards safety after a disastrous opening few months of the season. This goal at Salford was a moment of brilliance; receive pass, Cruyff turn, curl it into the top bins without needing another touch. View Here.
3) Ricardo Pereira, Leicester City vs Everton
Pereira collected the ball near his own penalty area, sprinted, exchanged a one-two, continued his run all the way into penalty area after twisting poor Jonjoe Kenny's ankles inside out, before firing a shot too hard for Pickford to keep out. An absolutely superb breakaway goal. View Here.
2) Gylfi Siggurdsson: Leicester City vs Everton
Funnily enough though, it wasn't even the best goal of the game. Sigurdsson absolutely mugged Maddison with a clever turn, before unleashing a piledriver from 25 yards to leave Schmeichel grasping thin air. View Here.
1) Sergio Aguero: Manchester City vs Huddersfield Town
Yes, the positioning of the goalkeeper was dreadful. But Aguero still had a lot of work to score from here and he just made it look so effortless. What the video link I've attached here doesn't show is that it was an inch perfect 60 yard diagonal pass from Ederson. View Here.
BEST FOOTBALL FOOD OF THE 2018/2019 SEASON
This is my weakest blog review yet for this category, with previous blogs covering Lowestoft's Chilli Con Carne on nachos, the grilled steak rolls at Union Berlin, or the infamous cottage pie at Kidderminster. Korea of course had the legendary bulgogi corndogs at Gangwon's ski slope stadium. I still have wet dreams when I reminisce about the tempura prawns I had at Avispa Fukuoka in Japan.
Nonetheless, there are some solid entrants on this list.
5) Steak & Kidney Pie, Chips & Curry Sauce, Grantham Town
Curry sauce and jockies is usually my go to at non-league grounds anywhere north of the Watford gap. If I was to pick out the best it would be this effort by Maggie Thatcher's mob. Thick chips, thick lumpy sauce, and a belter of a pie.
4) Faggots, Mushy Peas and Gravy, Gresley FC.
Admittedly the gravy was a bit too thin here, although it had a nice, salty, beefy flavour. I'm a sucker for faggots though. Incredibly underrated.
3) Cheese Oatcakes, Stoke City
If you've never tried this Staffordshire delicacy, you need to. You can sometimes find these in bigger supermarkets. Well, you can in the Sainsbury's store I work at, but unfortunately the south hasn't cottoned on to the things that make this country great.
The infamous parmo is actually sold at the Riverside, and it was a real honour to finally try it. It did have that mass produced feel to it, with the roll having that soft microwaved feel to it, but it was fucking delicious.
1) Chicken Curry with Chips, Frickley Athletic
Absolutely superb. Proper homemade chunky curry dolloped on a bed of jockies. This is just highlights how lazy so many non-league clubs are, particularly the ones who don't need suppliers. Just knock up a vat of something and watch it fly. Would happily pay £3.50 for this anywhere.
BEST PUBS OF THE 2018/19 SEASON
These aren't in any concise order, this is just a handful of some of my favourites over the course of the season. It's no secret that I'm a proper beer nonce these days and accordingly go to places that serve decent slob juice, but I also prefer the traditional British pub as much as possible. This list is a mixture of proper pubs, some wanky, hipster craft bars, taphouses and my preference; pubs that manage to combine good beer with good character. Why can't we have both?
Trackside Bar (Bury)
Located on the platform of the Bury steam train station, this place is absolutely superb. Really decent selection of ales, a list of beers to keep everyone happy, and the black pudding pork pie was different gravy bruv. And who doesn't like steam trains?!
Cloudwater Unit 9 Taproom (Manchester)
Cloudwater's taproom is a minimalist place, it is just on an industrial estate where they brew some of their beers, and have a shop as well as this taproom. You have to go behind Picadilly and walk underneath the bridge to find it. Every beer is £3.50 on card payment only, with different measurements depending on the strength.
Cloudwater are the absolute pinnacle of brilliant beer. If you know, you know.
(Also, check out Alphabet Brewery's taproom 5 minutes down the road).
Stanley Arms (Kirkham & Wesham - AFC Fylde)
If you're going to Fylde away, more likely than not you're probably just gonna stay in Blackpool and cab it to the ground last minute. If you decide to get the train to Kirkham & Wesham though, there are a couple of really decent boozers near the station. The Stanley Arms is solid all-rounded pub that manages to please everyone. Couple of decent well-kept ales on, cheap prices, a juke box, a beer garden, a pool table, sells hearty scran, also has a dartboard. Set the tone for a proper mucky weekend in Blackpool, a place where a night out needs to be seen to be believed.
Drygate Brewing Co. (Glasgow)
Drygate have made it into some of the bigger supermarkets in the past few years and their tap house, a 20 minute walk away from Celtic Park, is the perfect place to sample some of their brews. It's a German style layout with big tables; sells scran etc. They have a couple of lagers on as well so you can take an ordinary mate there without being ridiculed too much.
London Road Ale House (Stoke-On-Trent)
Head away from the centre and off course from the Britannia and you will find this characterful gem that the more knowledgeable Stoke fans frequent. It has six ale pumps on, a choice of real ciders, sells localised scran.
The Beer Parlour (Chesterfield)
I ended up in here on the bus back from Dronfield Town with the infamous groundhopper Sussexhopper, and was absolutely skullfucked by the time I arrived. From my faint memory, it's a brilliant little micropub with friendly owners, and is only about a 10 minute walk from the Proact.
The Wolf (Birmingham)
There are some superb pubs in Brum these days. Everyone knows all about the Post Office Vaults and The Wellington, plus The Pint Shop next door has a ridiculously extensive choice of beer. But my favourite was this gem right underneath Snow Hill station. It's got big indie vibezzzz going on with Circa Waves, Sundara Karma, Wombats etc on their music setlist. Stay up here the weekend and they have live music on. Cracking beer selection of course, but the staff are really nice and they sell pie and mash with mushy peas for £7.50.
Tiny Rebel (Cardiff)
Cardiff is my drinking city of the season, I was lucky enough to visit twice having previously never been. I'm a Tiny Rebel fanboy as it is one of the gateway breweries that introduced me into craft beer. I thought their pub was superb - not overpriced and pretentious like you'd expect from similar names *cough* Brewdog *cough*. As I'm only listing one pub per town or city I'd also highly recommend to check out Hopbunker near the castle.
Beerheadz (Melton Mowbray)
On a midweek step 6 groundhop to the home of the pork pie, I wasn't expected to be greeted by one of the best beer line-ups. Beerheadz is a mini-chain now with a few branches elsewhere inn. They had all the big guns on draft when i was in there: Northern Monk, DEYA, Burnt Mill, Wiper & True etc. The barmaid was lovely as well, proper decent lass. Thumbs up from the Sheriff.
The Magnet Freehouse (Stockport)
I have no idea if I'll be going to Stockport away next season yet so I hope Dover fans are reading and are taking my advice. When you get into Stockport station do not head to the pubs towards the ground in Edgeley, they are your typical chain shitholes, and not even the good ones like wetherspoons. Exit the station from the left hand side and walk 10 minutes up the road into The Magnet. This is a proper, traditional pub that has a huge range of cask and keg, bitburger to keep the lager drinkers happy.
Anywhere (Harrogate)
Another away game I did directly on zero hours sleep and straight out of Sainsburys. I was absolutely arseholed as usual, and impressively managed to make it in for work that night. Vaguely recall how decent the pub crawl to the ground was, with every watering hole being decent.
TWATTISH MOMENT OF THE SEASON 2018/2019
1) Waking up in Cleethorpes after Bury away.
I've had some pretty hilarious fails from falling asleep while pissed after football games. On the opening day of the season after our home game with Wrexham, I left to go home and catch an hour or two sleep before working the night shift that evening. Instead I woke up in London, and just about made it in, still wearing my clothes from football. There was a time a few seasons ago where I was meeting a bird in London after a home game but fell asleep, and ending up waking up in Medway heading back towards home. I was an hour late meeting her. When I stayed in Manchester 5 years ago for Altrincham away, I managed to sleep through 90% of Lee Mack's comedy gig.
Then there was the famous time after Kiddy away where I ended up fucking up trains and got stranded in Ramsgate, and couldn't afford a taxi, so had to sleep in a nearby field with my flag being used as a duvet.
But waking up in fucking Cleethorpes of all places after Bury away was the ultimate all-time peak. The Transpennine Manchester-Cleethorpes service via Sheffield was always going to be a dangerous one in hindsight, particularly as I'd had no sleep after working the night shift. Normally I'd be working the Saturday night so this mishap would have landed me in trouble, but I'd actually swapped shifts on the premise "I needed to finish my essay". The essay eventually did get finished and I somehow got a first on it, but only after I'd had to fork out £75 on a hotel and train back the following day, taking an additional 3.5 hours to get home in the morning.
Still, at least I got to stroll along Cleethorpes golden St Tropez-esque beach for my troubles.....
Runner up: Missing an important goal at Redditch.
When I watched Redditch v St Neots, the away side were 1-0 up with Redditch down to 8 (eight!) men and were surely on course to see the game out or indeed add another one. I made the decision to leave on 90 minutes in order to get an earlier train home and try and catch a bit of extra kip before work.
Wrong decision.
Redditch scored an equaliser on 90+2'. With eight men. FFS.
BEST CHANTS OF THE SEASON 2018/2019
It's a waste of a category, this. English football is becoming increasingly monotonous with dreary faux ultra shite like 'Allez Allez Allez' doing the rounds at 95% of grounds, or fans just focusing on goading the opposition with generic tosh like "your support is fucking shit". It's very rare you get original chants any more, and once you do, they're all over youtube/twitter within days and every club in the country is ripping it off with a replica version of their own- see for example, the "Ole's at the wheel" song, which has been painfully killed already.
And sadly, I didn't hear much Sectarian chanting at Celtic either.
I'll try and include a few here though
3) "YELTZ, YELTZ, WOAHHHHHHH" Halesowen fans at home to Hitchin.
I have no idea why Halesowen's nickname is the 'Yeltz' or what that even means, but they have a very catchy (and a bit annoying!) song that they repeatedly sing throughout the game.
2) "England fucked it up, they fucked it up" Cardiff at home to Southampton.
Have to admit, even though I take the "go fuck off and play in the Welsh League then" stance to large elements of Cardiff's bitterly anti-English support, I did have a good chuckle at this one.
1) "Stop Crying Frank Lampard" - Leeds United away at Derby County
It bit them on the arse days later, and that is the beautiful irony of football. But you cannot deny its genius at the time. I was at the first leg of the play-off and Leeds fans were brilliant as usual. I had this stuck in my swede for days.
Let's be honest though, whatever you think of Leeds, the song is accurate. Lampard was a whiny, pathetic bitch over this whole spy-gate nonsense.
FAVOURITE MISC FEATURES/PHOTOS OF 2018/2019
Best Ground Sponsor? (Frickley Athletic)
I don't think you could possibly get anything more Yorkshire than "Big Fellas Clothing Sizes 2XL to 8XL" as a ground name sponsor.
Or is there competition? (Scarborough Athletic)
If Scarborough's old McCain Stadium, AKA 'The Theatre of Chips', was pretty decent, their phoenix club are carrying on their traditions of fine sponsor names.
Don't look back into Thanet (Margate)
Margate might be an absolute world-class shithole that should be wiped off the map, but Pete Docherty clearly sees something in it and we should respect that.
Are there any spare seats? (Coventry United)
It's quite surreal watching a non-league Step 5 game and being confronted by this delightful mammoth of a stand. Admittedly they are only groundsharing at the city's rugby club, but it's still a bit bizarre nonetheless.
Mouldy Beer Can (Apollon Smyrnis)
Greek lager is pretty shite at the best of times, particular the brand known as 'Fix'. It's even more unpleasant when the rim of the can is full of mould. Funniest of all though, vendor who sold it to me at the game just tried smearing it off and giving it back to me! No thanks bruv.
Top Bins (Stocksbridge Park Steels)
Even little things like this, painting the colours of the bins and putting the clubs initials on it, really do add to the character grounds like Stocksbridge.
Well-Equipped Enough? (Nuneaton Borough)
With 3,500 Stockport fans in town finally escaping 6 years of pain playing the likes of Barrow, Worcester, Gloucester and Oxford City in regional football, Nuneaton really had to be prepared for the carnage expected.
The One Seated Stand (Dronfield Town)
"We need to pass ground grading regulations? Quick, build a fence and then stick a seat underneath it!"
Sunset of the Season (Holmes Park)
Leicester's new reserve ground at Holmes Park provided two beautiful sights when I watched them play Arsenal's stiffs back in September; this magnificent sunset and Sir Les Ferdinand strolling around the ground.
Irate Mansfield Fans kicking off (Milton Keynes Dons)
It was a real honour and pleasure to see The Dons clinch their place back in League One, particularly at the expense of a rotten overspending Mansfield, in a winner-takes-all final day promotion clash at Stadium MK.. There was a lot of posturing from both sets of fans but a few of them did break through the lines and clout one of the gimps.
Nonetheless, it was a real privilege to watch the Dons quickly return to a level more befitting of the club's stature. It was sad to see the 1988 FA Cup winners slump to the basement tier last year but they bravely bounced back at the first attempt after a nervy win here. Was delighted to share the moment with my mate Joe, who's been a great companion on several of these games this year.
PLANS AND TARGETS FOR THE 2019/2020 SEASON
To be honest, I have absolutely no idea where I'll be living next year yet, whether I'll be inside or outside the UK. Only thing I can confirm is that my season should be starting on the 3rd of July with the Helsinki derby, followed by some groundhopping in Estonia. That'll be my 38th and 39th (I think?) countries for watching soccer in, so it will be a great way to kick things off. I've also got tickets for Spurs's friendly against Inter on Sunday 4th August. That's a heads up for anyone reading - they're on general sale for £20 or something so it's a good chance to get it ticked off hassle free.
I have been trying for years now to get legendary groundhopper Lost Boyo down to a Dover game but I've been unable to secure his signature despite numerous offers of subsiding his drink etc. I've pretty much given up all hope now of ever meeting the bloke at Crabble despite the red carpet treatment he knows he'll receive.
If I am living in the UK I want to wrap up the 92 as soon as possible. I only have 11 left now and the majority are tinpot ones in North West; two trips to Blackpool for the Tangerines and Fleetwood, Accrington + Morecambe, and then Wigan. Still have Bournemouth to box off and Norwich too - good little weekender potential for both. Exeter should be alright as well. Been waiting for Dover to get them in the cup though, like I did biding my time with Bury this season.
I'd like to properly get back into supporting Dover again with the same passion as vigour as I once did, but it is unlikely to be honest. I end up spending a fortune on home games and the lifestyle isn't very good for me. When it boils down to it, can I really be arsed to pay £18 to watch us play Chorley when the ground is completely dead and nobody cares? It just isn't the same any more.
I'd like to properly get back into supporting Dover again with the same passion as vigour as I once did, but it is unlikely to be honest. I end up spending a fortune on home games and the lifestyle isn't very good for me. When it boils down to it, can I really be arsed to pay £18 to watch us play Chorley when the ground is completely dead and nobody cares? It just isn't the same any more.
If I am in UK and am looking at foreign trips, I have been saying for years now that I'd love to watch football in Morocco, particularly the Casablanca Derby if I can get time off for the dates.
A decent German football trip is also long overdue. Haven't watched any football there since December 2016's Munich trip. Same applies with Italy. Was meant to be at the Under 21s tournament this summer but my mate broke his leg and pulled out.
Belarus and Albania are big on my European 'to-do' list.
I've applied for Euro 2020 tickets, for games in Budapest, St Petersburg and Baku. But again, it's a big 'if' whether the application will be successful or whether I'll still be living in the continent.
A decent German football trip is also long overdue. Haven't watched any football there since December 2016's Munich trip. Same applies with Italy. Was meant to be at the Under 21s tournament this summer but my mate broke his leg and pulled out.
Belarus and Albania are big on my European 'to-do' list.
I've applied for Euro 2020 tickets, for games in Budapest, St Petersburg and Baku. But again, it's a big 'if' whether the application will be successful or whether I'll still be living in the continent.
If I decide to move to Asia, and I have currently received teaching offers for jobs in Chongqing, Shenzhen, and Japan, then I might have to take a backseat from football for a while, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Chongqing and Shenzhen both have CSL clubs, but the job may involve working on weekends and the Asian countries break over winter anyway. So I imagine football will take quite a significant backstep from my life. Again, not necessarily a bad thing, I've probably been overdoing it recently!
STATISTICS FOR THE 2018/2019 SEASON
Highest Attendances:
5) Leicester City v Everton (32,007)
4) Aston Villa v Nottingham Forest (32,868)
3) Valencia v Villareal (37,827)
2) Celtic v FK Suduva (44,639)
1) Manchester City v Huddersfield Town (54,021)
5) Leicester City v Everton (32,007)
4) Aston Villa v Nottingham Forest (32,868)
3) Valencia v Villareal (37,827)
2) Celtic v FK Suduva (44,639)
1) Manchester City v Huddersfield Town (54,021)
Lowest Attendances:
5) Dronfield Town v Winterton Rangers (72)
4) Long Eaton United v Coventry United (70)
3) Leicester Road v Loughborough Dynamo (70)
2) Miedz Legnica II v Gwarek Tarnowskie Gory (50 - approx, no turnstiles, people walking in/out)
1) Birstall United v Aylestone Park (21 - officially, but counted 29 myself. Either way, contender for lowest attended game ever been to)
5) Dronfield Town v Winterton Rangers (72)
4) Long Eaton United v Coventry United (70)
3) Leicester Road v Loughborough Dynamo (70)
2) Miedz Legnica II v Gwarek Tarnowskie Gory (50 - approx, no turnstiles, people walking in/out)
1) Birstall United v Aylestone Park (21 - officially, but counted 29 myself. Either way, contender for lowest attended game ever been to)
Average Attendance:
7,253
7,253
Total Admission Fees (foreign currency converted into GBP):
£808
Average Admission Fee:
£9.73
£808
Average Admission Fee:
£9.73
Highest Scoring games:
3-5) Manchester City 6-1 Huddersfield Town
3-5) Swansea City 4-3 Rotherham
3-5) Margate 5-2 Corinthian Casuals
2) Corby Town 5-3 Bedford Town
1) Aston Villa 5-5 Nottingham Forest
3-5) Manchester City 6-1 Huddersfield Town
3-5) Swansea City 4-3 Rotherham
3-5) Margate 5-2 Corinthian Casuals
2) Corby Town 5-3 Bedford Town
1) Aston Villa 5-5 Nottingham Forest
Home Wins: 37
Away Wins: 25
Draws: 20 (4 penalty shoot-outs, 3 were home winners).
Neutral Games: 1
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