Now this is my greatest fan profile yet, courtesy of the answers being provided by everybody's favourite ginger nutcase. I have known Christopher for longer than I have most Dover fans, as we both shared a lift to Welling away in the fateful 2003/04 season. Back when I was only a 12 year old lad with the whole world at my feet, whereas he was just a shy, teenage, ginger cunt with an aggression problem. Fast forward 9 years and he's still exactly the same, only a little bit older.
He has become a very good friend of mine over the years as we seem to share the same childish and sick & sadistic sense of humour that makes us so unpopular with the rest of the population. Chris has had very many notorious moments over the years which has seen him serve two life bans at Crabble, which I have no need to divulge on here in public. But he has mellowed out and matured in recent times and is more likely to trade a cuddle than a punch these days.
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| From the Ryman South onwards, we'll always stick together. |
Starting with the basics...
Name? Chris Hunt
Age? 25 (26 on 11th Feb)
Relationship status? Married
Family/Pets? A kurva of a wife, son Nicholas of 15 months.
Moving onto what’s important…
You support Dover Athletic. What got you into it? And what were you first home and away games?
My old man followed Dover home and away for many years and took me up to Crabble quite a few times when I was nipper. I instantly fell in love with the club and used to get upset when my dad went to football without me and broke my heart even more when we used to drop him at the bottom of the hill. My earliest memory which I could remember when I was a kid was during the 90’s when Leworthy scored for us against Kingstonian I think whilst my dad went to the tea hut to get us a burger.
Same again the only memory I can recollect of my first away trip was a coach trip with the old man to Boreham Wood away in the trophy I think where we lost 2-1 with Steve Restarick scoring one in off the post volley for us.
What is your favourite Dover match of all time?
I am very fortunate to have witnessed many great matches over the years. Too many to choose from but some that stick out are obviously the 2-0 demolishing of our dearest rivals G********m , after what had happened In the summer and to do them over on their own patch was best and most proud moment for a long while. A packed out Crabble in the 2nd leg of the FAT Semi final vs Cheltenham which finished 2-2 and were very unfortunate not to have progressed, one step away from Wembley which we will probably never see again. I could talk about a lot of matches that are up there with the favourites but I haven’t got all day.
If the answer to the above related to November 6th 2010, what would your second favourite?
Read above and you’ll find out.
And the least favourite?
Fuck me, I’ve seen some diabolical half hearted performances in the past. The main ones that stick out are Met Police at home where I took my new bird and her dad for their first and last game, 2 or 3-0 down within 20 mins and it was an embarrassment. I think we spent 75 minutes in the bar having a better time. There have been a lot shite performances in the Nicky Forster reign.
What is the best thing about DAFC and the matchday experience that would invite the ‘floater fans’ to Crabble more often?
To put it short and sweet, absolute Fuck all. But now CK is in charge hopefully the old guard will find the time to come back up.
Where do you see Dover Athletic in 5 years time?
League 1, but realistically a floating top half Conf Prem side with strong challenges from other Kent sides Gravesend and Webfeet, Maidstone Utd, Darthugs.
Your favourite ever Dover goal?
Birchall vs Gills, Thurrock away
Victor Renner + many more
Who is your favourite Dover player of all time?
It would be unfair to name one man my favourite we have had some good players over the years. John Budden, Dave Leworthy, Dave Clarke, Jimmy Strouts, Paul Hyde, Neil LeBihan, the list goes on and on. But one of my favourites that I dearly miss and feel sorry for is the man Craig Cloke, if it wasn’t for injuries that set him back in his career he would be playing for a league club by now. FACT.
And your least favourite?
Tom Hickman who was nothing but a poor mans Roy Keane wannabe. Jemal Johnson who was a disgrace to the shirt. Tommy Tyne after his missed that penalty in the play off final vs the pikey angels. Moses Ademola, he looks to be another money motivated lazy ass Jemal Johnson.
Your most memorable away day?
I have a lot of great friends who make each and every away day memorable. The Ryman days were pucker for away trips good football short trips more drinking time. Train Army!!!
What do you consider the funniest off the pitch an on the pitch DAFC moments?
vs Ebbsfleet a young lad ran down the touchline and the steward proper rugby tackled which wiped him out.
Pidds at Dorchester threw a bog roll on the pitch went on started waving it around like a gymnast, after getting kicked out the ground came back in via the changing rooms. Ledge.
A bin getting thrown at a ref after the 2-2 draw against Kingstonian.
Crying at the Sir Robert Peel.
Ryan Reid drunk.
And many many more moments.
How would you feel about the prospect of Dover moving to a new stadium, consider it will likely be out of town?
As long as it has a bit of character and generates great atmosphere with no annoying pillars in the way, more than one bar and a separate function room a bit like Dartfords gaff. I would love it and shows what a forward thinking and ambitious club we really are.
If you change anything about the club, what would it be?
The Centre Spot; the place is just such a dull place to be. Why not have dartboards, pool tables, quiz machines, fruit machines, allow drinks In the smoking area with a few benches etc? Get rid of Shepards Neame. Less of the nightclub bouncers for stewards as a lot of people feel they’re intimidating. Allow swearing on the terraces along with beer in plastic cups. Anything to get that family club feeling again.
Is Chris Kinnear the right man to lead us into the Blue Square Premier?
I'd rather have a manager that has won promotion a couple of times before rather than someone who hasn't. An inexperienced newbie like Forster had no knowledge of non-league or the local scene.
And more football related shite....
Are you a vile two club wanker and if so which team is it? If not, who would you follow if you were not a DAFC fan?
As a great lover for the game it would be truly rude not to follow other sides. I follow Arsenal thanks to the old man again, watched Millwall when I could. The true romance in football is in the lower leagues, non league. I support other teams who are playing against the likes of Man Utd, Chelsea etc.
What's your favourite ever game as a neutral?
Chelsea vs Man United the League game on the Sunday and then the League Cup tie between the same teams a few days later.
What are your favourite football grounds, both league and non-league that you have visited?
The Old Wembley, Craven Cottage, Villa Park, The Emirates, Nene Park, Hereford, Big investments Tooting & Mitcham, Goldaming, Dorchester.
What footballers do you currently admire?
Luke McCormick, after what the lad has been through he has shown great steel and determination to put everything what had happened in the past behind him and try to focus on a becoming a great keeper which he was once touted as….NOT….THE BLOKE IS A TOP OF THE RANGE CUNT AND SHOULD BE HANGED.
And who do you consider to be the greatest of your lifetime?
Leo Messi, still young and the goals he scores are fucking magical. Move over Jesus Christ, its your step brothers turn for the limelight.
All time footballing villain(s)?
Anyone who dares to cheat. Rio and Anton Ferdinand.
Your favourite ever net bulger(s)?
Owen vs Argentina
Tony Yeboah (The bloke has scored some absolute screamers)
Byron Walkers Tricycle kick
Purcell vs Thurrock
Birchall vs Gills, Thurrock (all 4/5 goals)
General information…
What do you do for a living?
I have been medically discharged from the Army and currently out of work looking. Full driving license with all Categories except Cat A and track. I’m getting my SIA badge soon so if there is anyone looking for a driver or require any security staff I’ll be happy to send you my Cv. Chris113x@hotmail.co.uk
What are your hobbies and interests outside of football?
Spending a lot of quality time with my son. Love the man to bits and he’s going to be a star one day.
What are your favourite food(s)? And least favourite?
Fav: A good Roast chicken. Plus many other dishes. I enjoy and respect my food, unless the wife cooks.
Least Fav: Anything with animal organs in like kidney , liver, heart etc. Bloody hate calamari. Plus shellfish, prawns.
And your favourite and least favourite alcoholic beverages?
I drink anything and everything, apart from ale.
How would you rate yourself on attractiveness?
I’m not camera friendly and it doesn’t show my real beauty so I have to go for a solid 8 1/2
Any relationship sob stories?
I made love to Callum’s mum.
Who would be your ideal man/woman?
Your sister.
What’s your most embarrassing moment?
I think my life has been an embarrassment so far, too many moments to choose from but I’ll share a couple. I was at Buckmore park with the cubs one time and I stupidly agreed to something which led me to be tied up to some monkey bars and the evil fuckers taking my clothes and laughing at me and I think I broke down and cried. When I was kid I walked in on my mum whilst she was in the bath, luckily I don’t remember any details.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
The world is my oyster.
Who do you deem to be the worst human being on the planet at this moment in time and why?
All Muslims. Why? I Haven’t got enough time to go in to detail right now.
Luis Suarez, Dirty cheating little cunt nugget.
If you were to host a dinner party, what four dream guests would you invite?
Karl Pilkington, Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr and Tommy Robinson (EDL)
You have three bullets left in your AK47. Which celebrities do you choose to dispose of?
Ed Miliband, Pete Burns and Louis Walsh
Finally, how great do you think Callum's blog is?
Its grrrrrrrrrrrrreat as Tony the Tiger would say. A lot better then Doddy’s shitty match reports. It has everything you want from a top terrace Sheriff. Keep up the good work my fat Turkish friend. 7/10
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