The day started how it would eventually end: miserable. Once I met the others on the train at Faversham they would leave me exposed to sit on my own in a four-seater behind them. The inevitable would happen; at Gillingham 3 fit girls would eventually plonk themselves down next to me, leaving me in an unenviable, awkward, squashed position. Cue comments from the others "Callum's got wood" and "She's probably not used to sitting next to a boy with bigger tits than her" and "Go on, touch her fanny". I would sit and sulk for the rest of the journey to Victoria.
The next train journey wasn't much better. Having had 3 cans of tuborg on the previous train without going wee-wee's I was fucking horrified to discover that the stinky shitheap of a train had no toilets on board. Well, thats typical Scumdon for you. So the 30 minute journey to Sutton was quite a long one, particularly for Adrian who was bursting more than I was. Being
Anyhow, we eventually found our stop in Surrey to discover there was only one toilet on the platform, a unisex one. Cue frantic queueing! I managed to go 2nd after Adrian, and it was one of the longest and refreshing urinations i've had in a long time. I'm sure we've all appreciated that feeling at various points in our lives.
We made our way to the Wetherspoons, where we would be greeted by Sutton Sal outside. She is a good laugh and made for decent conversation (well, for a woman!). She absolutely rinsed Tom Jordan for not being able to find his penis, so he did not take a shining to her. But Adrian did, he seemed to be infatuated by her "Oooooh Sal I'll buy you another ale". BANTZ. We were later joined by a couple more Suttonites, one of them a peculiar old fella with a penchant for real ale and memorizing fixture dates while the other was younger lad who looked like he had come straight out of a heavy-metal band. ROCK ON STU! One of them enquired who the infamous Punk Can Save Us was. Being embarrassed of my internet persona I tried passing it off as one of the others!
After three pints of Tuborg and the time ticking on, we made Sal lead the way onto the next pub which would be the Robin Hood. Robbing bastards would have been more appropriate; £3.70 for a fucking pint of fosters! It wasn't even a particularly special pub (unless you're a fan of youngs) or anything, just another ordinary pub with bland decor and a very quiet atmosphere. But despite having just forked out probably the most I ever have for a PUB beer, I was keen to move onto the ground with the time ticking away so we finished up and headed to Gander Green Lane, a new ground for me.
I was not overally impressed by the placed, despite having conned my way in as an Under 16 which happened to be free. I softened the blow by buying a programme for the first time in years as well as spunking money on a pint and some chips. The ground is seemingly oval shaped even though it does not have a running track around it. So the stands are a fair distance behind the goals, which is never good for football grounds. Behind one end has a decent covered terrace to be fair but the other one is completely unopened and thus hardly anyone populates themselves behind there. Down one side of the ground is a seated main stand and a covered terrace behind the other. So overall it isn't a bad ground but the shape of it doesn't make for a great atmosphere. Indeed, neither did their banning of drums in the ground.
The Bar was one of those ones that was only accessible from the outside. As they had forgotten to give us tickets on the turnstile Sal had to wrangle so that could go to the bar. It was ok in there, fairly small and dull though. I only had time to neck a quick pint before kick-off but got to meet more Conference South posters like Taz. FOOTBALL FWENDS!
Now, onto the first half. Did anything of note really happen? Not that I can remember really. The opening half an hour was very sloppy, from both sides but we brightened up just before the break. I'anson forced a good save out of Scriven just before the break, and was also on the receiving end of an excellent tackle which prevented him from scoring. Down the other end, Grittiths hit the bar apparently. We had many free-kicks that we could have threatened from but Cogan refused to put them over the head of the first man. Sorry Phil, but I still cannot see anything positive that Bazza contributes for the team.
I bought some chips during the half, my first food at football for a long while. An expensive £2 just so I could spill brown sauce down my new Dover shirt. Thank god I was wearing the away colours.
The second half was slightly more entertaining. We spent the majority of it singing a new song "we're the black and white army" to the tune of seven nation army. Tom Jordan, the Charlton supporting twat who claims he doesn't support Dover but finds himself travelling many miles to watch Dover away just wants me to add in here that he created the song.
We had a few opportunities in the second half but Harry Baker and Donovan Simmonds saw their one-on-one efforts twarted by the impressive Scriven. Other than those two clear cut chances though I felt we we poor in the final third, lacking a certain punch. In the end though we'd be slightly fortunate to come away with anything though as Ruiz made two absolutely outstanding saves. The late reflex stop from an eight yard volley was probably the best save I have seen following in Dover. We are so lucky to have such a fantastic goalkeeper at our disposal. His save with his legs 5 minutes earlier wasn't bad either. Thanks to him we managed to survive the late onslaught but we were unable to grab a goal and were left pretty dissapointed by the goalless draw, even though in hindsight a point at Sutton is not a bad result.
Not sure why Phil and the Sutton fans seemed to think it was a really decent game though? I've probably had more entertaining shits than that game. Other than the flurry of late Sutton chances it really was ordinary, dross.
The crowd was announced as 714, with only about 150 Dovorians in attendance. Not a great turn-out from either party, but after the dross served up again Tonbridge, who can blame them? Too many games are played at this time of the year too. I dread to think how much I've spent on football already this season!
I think I over-reacted a little bit, probably a bit because of booze, but mainly out of frustration. 6 games into the season and I'm already panicking that we're slipping behind the pack, and that Martin Hayes' tinkering style of management is severely hindering out chances. We've scored a total of zero against Tonbridge and Sutton, whilst Woking have slammed 11 past them. That gives me great concern, as well as the very impressive starts of Dartford and Welling. We still look nothing like a coherent unit and most people are already suspecting whether Martin Hayes has what it takes to get the best out of our strong squad. He needs to realise that the starting eleven players should be the best, fit and in-form to choose from instead of randomly picking different players to keep them happy. It won't keep them happy if they know that no matter how well they play they might not get picked the next game, so he needs to introduce meritocracy and fast. Not many teams will win at Gander Green Lane this season but it is the place where Championship contenders should be nicking wins at. Luckily I've slept a couple of days on this blog, so I'm not feeling quite as negative as I was 24 hours ago where I felt our season was over, but we need to drastically improve and fast if we still harbour any ambition of winning the league.
We ended up walking straight back to the Sutton station without stopping for a drink as we were moody, except for Russell and and infatuated Adrian who stayed in the bar for a couple. God knows what time they got back. So we stopped off at Morrisons en route, picking up some lovely reduced bits and a few beers for the train. I got a couple of cumberland sausages from the hot counter, lush! The beers were a complete waste of time though as I realised I wasn't in the mood any more and just wanted a pint of apple juice. I was pretty drunk but as I was feeling so apathetic I didn't realise this until I woke up the following morning. I can't really think of anything of note that happened on the journey home, other than having to pay 30p for a poo at the Victoria station.
Chelmsford away then Saturday. Can't say I'm particularly looking forward to the football itself but it should be another decent day out, as there are some very good pubs in the area. With the pressure of needing a win against a side we have a poor recent record against I'm not feeling too positive ahead of the game. Without a win against them in 9, it is always a tough game but we should take comfort in the fact our bogie player Robert Edmans has now left them, and they haven't won at home all season. So it could be a suprising but good time to end that winless run against them. What I'm also looking forward to is buying a programme. Why? Because I'm in it!!! As an away fan profile thing, so if you're going to Melbourne Park make sure you pick one up!
| Pos | Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | Welling United | 6 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 17 | 6 | 11 | 16 |
| 2 | | Woking | 6 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 14 | 4 | 10 | 14 |
| 3 |  | Dartford | 6 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 13 | 5 | 8 | 14 |
| 4 | | Salisbury City | 6 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 8 | 6 | 2 | 10 |
| 5 | | Maidenhead United | 6 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 10 |
| 6 | | Sutton United | 6 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 7 | 10 | -3 | 10 |
| 7 | | Dover | 6 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 10 | 3 | 7 | 9 |
| 8 | | Bromley | 6 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 10 | 10 | 0 | 9 |
| 9 | | Weston-S-Mare | 6 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 10 | 11 | -1 | 9 |
| 10 | | Truro City | 6 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 8 | -2 | 9 |
| 11 | | Basingstoke Town | 6 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 10 | 7 | 3 | 8 |
| 12 | | Chelmsford | 5 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 8 | 6 | 2 | 8 |
| 13 | | Eastbourne Borough | 6 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 11 | 9 | 2 | 7 |
| 14 | | Tonbridge Angels | 6 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 14 | 13 | 1 | 7 |
| 15 | | Eastleigh | 6 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 6 | 10 | -4 | 7 |
| 16 | | Havant and Waterlooville | 6 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 10 | 13 | -3 | 6 |
| 17 |  | Dorchester | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 10 | -4 | 6 |
| 18 | | Farnborough | 6 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 6 | 11 | -5 | 6 |
| 19 | | Staines Town | 5 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 5 | -1 | 5 |
| 20 | | Boreham Wood | 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 9 | -5 | 5 |
| 21 | | Hampton & Richmond | 5 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 6 | 9 | -3 | 2 |
| 22 | | Thurrock | 6 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 3 | 18 | -15 | 1 |
| Basingstoke | 2 | - | 2 | Hampton & Richmond | |
 Daley (26) Dunn (74) | Moone (45) Erskine (61) |  415 | |||
| Dartford | 3 | - | 1 | Bromley | |
Bradbrook (07) Sheringham (83) Harris (85) | Waldren (64) | 1,550 | |||
| Eastbourne Borough | 1 | - | 3 | Chelmsford | |
| Crabb (22) | Clark (20) Modeste (06) Cole (08 og) | 214 | |||
| Eastleigh | 2 | - | 1 | Weston-S-Mare | |
| Holder-Spooner (18) Slabber (24) | Young (09) | 426 | |||
| Farnborough | 0 | - | 3 | Maidenhead Utd | |
| Thomas (35) Powell (61) Wall (85) | 538 | ||||
| Salisbury | 4 | - | 1 | Havant and W | |
| Reid (46) Dutton (49) Fitchett (04) Clarke (90) | Fogden (41) | 845 | |||
| Staines Town | 2 | - | 1 | Boreham Wood | |
| Wheeler (18) Wheeler (06) | Akinola (91) | 255 | |||
| Sutton Utd | 0 | - | 0 | Dover | |
| 714 | |||||
| Thurrock | 1 | - | 4 | Welling | |
| Cracknell (13) | Clarke (41) Bruce (43 og) Pires (58) Pugh (62) | 397 | |||
| Tonbridge Angels | 3 | - | 6 | Woking | |
| Collin (41) Andrews (76) Collin (90) | McNerney (18) Ademoia (43) King (04) Hammond (62) Gray (83) Gray (88) | 922 | |||
| Truro City | 0 | - | 1 | Dorchester | |
| Crittenden (74) | 701 | ||||
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