It was our first home game on the cards since our 2-0 defeat of Eastleigh 3 weeks ago but as usual, the same old boring yet super-effective routine was in place. I.E go up to the Old Endeavour with Leigh Champion and Fish for around 11AM and proceed to get hammered in time to be able to bare the grim prospect of non-league football.
So what was different about Saturday then? Well, not a lot, other than an Australian theme going on in the pub which meant some pretty decorations around the place, one of those corkscrew hats, some inflatable sharks and kangaroos and best of all, £2 a pint of Fosters all day if like me your a love of the golden fizzy piss.
Well actually, that wasn't the best part of all. That would go to the mixed grills they served in the evening consisting of boar, kangaroo and shark meat, which I will get back to later on.
Also they managed to fit a new HD TV which is very welcome and the Liverpool v Yernited snoozefest was screened for all the two club wankers to enjoy including myself, a former Liverpool fan that still has to put up with some stick for my former allegiences.
But yeah, to use one of my favourite phrases - nothing particularly noteworthy here. I did drink at quite a rapid pace - heck, I even bought a jaigerbomb as soon as I walked into the pub. I think I had finished my 5th by the time I left the pub at 2, along with plenty of pints of beer.
Anyway, the pre-match 'banter' consisted of the same old playing on quiz machines, watching Fish and Champ battle it out playing darts and conversations regarding soccer, women, life, wrestling, modern literature and 16th century Russian prose. There was a lot of discussion on our upcoming weekend in Bristol, which I finally booked on Friday evening. Its for when we play Weston away on the final day of the season and theres a lot of heading up there, so it should be a cracking weekend, particularly if theres still a lot to play for.
The same old usual faces were out in force but it took a short while for the place to fill out. Ginger Johnathan Pring was making his first appearence for a while after a mid-season exodus to Barbados, while Russell was making his first re-appearence since heading back to uni. Having got a late train though he went straight to the centre spot, so being a kind fellow I decided to head up to the ground early as I'd becomed bored with everybody else focusing on the Suarez/Evra wankfest on the television.
I walked up to the ground in the damp weather with Josh Watkins and immedietly popped into the club shop, as Josh began searching for a new home shirt to purchase, which he never got round to. I spoke to Joe for a short while about our awful manufacture which is Chablais and by the sounds of it, this will be our last season with them after a string of cock-ups over the past few years. Relieving news I'm sure you'll all agree, I just have my fingers crossed that we don't revert back to a tinpot company like Jacetts or Strikeforce.
I then walked into the Centre Spot to be met with a raptous reception with everybody so delighted to see me. But I went straight up to the bar to see my little bearded pal Russelov andshared a few jars of lager with him while we caught up on the finer things in life. We also discussed impending plans for the weekend coming up. I have the Sunday off work, and in the likely event of Dover not having a game this weekend, pending Hampton's trophy replay tonight, I will be staying at his gaff in Nottingham while we take in a game somewhere in the midlands/ooop north area. So exciting prospects all round.
I was chuffed to hear that Dirk Kuys had lashed in a late winner while I was too busy outside filling my fragile lungs with fumes. It always nice to wipe the feeling of smugness off the face of the many plancs amongst us Dover fans. (Plancs = my own cool term to describe plastic mancs).
I also had the priveledge of meeting SCFC Pensioner of conference south forum fame before kick-off. I'd missed him in the OE after my early departure so it was good to meet one of the great forum characters. I wasn't dissapointed that he didn't live up to his old man persona and I'm sure that he was dissapointed to find out that Punk Can Save Us is not an irrattating annoying cunt in real life either.... oh wait, maybe not.
I also met Dave from the same forum and they seemed like decent enough blokes. I can't recall much I spoke to them about at this point as I was pretty hammered, but i'm sure it was enthralling enough conversation.
Well the next 90 or so minutes that followed this I have very little recollection of detail over either so I'm not going to pretend that I know all the ins and outs of the game as I don't. All I know is that it seemed like a fucking awful game between two boring sides that had very little imagination going forward. I've not watched the highlights yet as I very rarely do after a dissapointing performance, but the comments on the forum seem to reflect how I saw the game at the time.
Second half we managed to equalise fairly early on when Glen Southam scored his first goal for the club. Shane Huke just managed to keep the ball on the pitch and crossed the ball accross the goal which bounced off Glen's noggin and into the back of the net. I'm chuffed that he had opened his account for the club because once again he was our best midfielder again and has a superb range of passing. The goal was met with sounds of relief more than one of jubilant joy.
But after that, we never really seemed to threaten for a winner and the finale of the match was dull, drab and miserable, and felt as if we had taken a time machine back into the Martin Hayes era (or should that be error?). Salisbury were reduced to 10 men in the final minute when one of their players allegedly raised their hand after what seemed like a provocation from Phil Starkey but we were not left enough time to make the man advantage count. Even then I think we could of played another 45 minutes and still not scored.
Overall it was a boring, miserable game, with very few chances between either side. Salisbury were fairly solid defensively and to be fair to them, didn't look an awful side. But we didn't do enough to really test them and it was a dissapointing showing in the circumstances. It was a great chance to heap the pressure on Sutton but instead they're still fairly comfortable, despite a 4-1 defeat at Eastleigh. Weston also lost, meaning that we actually gained ground in the play-off race for 5th place but we we really should be in there by now. We've dropped so many points this season in draws where we should have won the game but we don't really seem capable of finishing teams off, particularly at home.
It didn't help that our frontline were so inneffective. Dixon had his poorest game for us yet, leading to fears that he would become our next Chris Allen, Bricknell kept running into brickwalls while Purcell was dire, shooting from stupid angle where he should of played the ball accross.
This game coupled with last week has quashed my recent renewed optimism as my fickleness meter blasts through the roof. Cue my "we have no chance of making the play-offs blah blah blah" paranoia. But I have calmed down a bit. We're still unbeaten in seven league games, we still don't look like losing and we do have a generous looking run of games ahead of us. But we need to start getting the points on board ASAP otherwise they will just become a distant dream. COME ON YOU WHITES.
Anyway, football aside it was a deccent enough day with the LADZ. We guzzled a post match beer in the
As we were walking back down to the Old Endeavour though we were made aware of some comments made by Jim Parmenter. Fan X, whom I won't reveal their identity at the risk of shit-stirrring, overhead Jim make a reference to somebody about Phil Smith and Leigh Champion not being real fans because they were not spending their money in the centre spot.
Now being hammered at the time, I over-reacted a bit to hearing this. But still, even as a throw-away comment, what a stupid fucking thing to say, no? It might sound like we're being precious to what was probably a joke comment but its not something to say about two loyal fans that spending shit loads of money week-in, week out, year in, year out watching this football club. He should learn to keep stupid thoughts to himself and realise that saying things like that will get back to the people.
If he wants us to drink in his bar, then he should give us a reason to drink in the bar. Its bloody awful, and has no better qualities than anything that the Old Endeavour has to offer. Rude ginger twat behind the bar, drab concrete surroundings, expensive over-priced drinks bar fosters and John Smith, stupid leather chairs dotted around the place and generally somewhere that isnt a great place to drink. I'm not going to keep on ranting about it though because we have done it many times before, yet the place only continues to decline in quality over time.
The irony is of course, that the likes of Phil, Champ and me spend far more money in the centre spot than the average punter at Crabble does. All on top of the obscene £210 I pay for a season ticket and £12 each time for a cup game.
On the contary though, the Old Endeavour was superb as always and provided us a great place to get tanked up post match. £2 a pint of fosters and a mixed grill for £8. What did the mixed grill contain? Well, chips, home made burger, potatoe salad, shark, boar and kangaroo meat. How exotic is that?
And I'll tell you what, it was like having an orgasm in my mouth and I enjoyed every single mouthful. The shark was beautiful, had the texture of meat but with a nice fish taste while boar just tasted like a nice version of steak. Kangaroo was fantastic too. Even the chips and Potatoe salad were devine, while we already know how good the burgers are. Superb value for money and gave me an opportunity to eat exotic meats at a reasonable price. But I shouldn't be there. My money should be going into the tills of the centre spot because thats what real fans do.
Also being served up in the Old Endeavour was karaoke (when was the last time the Centre Spot held karaoke?). Sadly, it was some uncharasmatic bloke and his missus doing it and they only had a selection of song choices, which sucked a bit. I still managed to murder Robbie Williams 'Angels and Alexander Burke's 'Hallejuh', a god awful song that Doddy thought was hilarious to spring upon me without my knowing. Fortunately the brilliance of Phil Smith made up for my short comings, as he successfully belted out 'Don't let the sun go down on me' and 'Piano man', two classic tracks that he always makes his own.
Unfortunately I had to dissapear at 9PM to make my way back to Sperm Bay, for a long lonely journey back which consisted of taking buses via Thanet. I actually managed to sober up by by the time I reached home at Midnight, as the sobering thoughts of the weekend being over with little to show for it, other than a dissapointing draw, dawned upon me.
But never mind. I'll just have to keep the faith for a little bit longer. Fingers crossed we'll have a game on on Saturday but for now, it doesn't look very likely. I'll be back to write a mind-numbingly dull blog though regardless, as some football related fun should occur even whether its not with the Mighty Whites.
As for now, I'll leave you with a few photos. I would have stuck them in with my blog but this website is playing up like an arsehole.
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| A sexy pose in the mirror for all my legions of female fans out there. Check out my lovely Diahatsu number from the mid 90's. |
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| "G'day mate" says our Fish |
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| 5 Jaiger bombs lined up; all mine of course. |
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| Ginger Jonathan Pring and a random appearence from Boxhead, a Dover legend. |
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| Russell, Fish and Booster look forward to an epic encounter. |
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| Jason Mcfarlane doing what he does best. |
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| Pure heaven. |
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| Get stuck in son! |
| Saturday 28 Jan 2012 | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Boreham Wood | 1 | - | 2 | Woking | |
 Noto (56) |
Hammond (24) Ademola (85) |
 413 |
|||
| Dartford | 6 | - | 0 | Thurrock | |
| Bradbrook (12) Harris (31) Rogers (35) Burns (73) Garrod (78) Bradbrook (80) |
1,206 |
||||
| Dover | 1 | - | 1 | Salisbury | |
| Southam (58) |
Matthews (46) |
825 |
|||
| Eastbourne Borough | 0 | - | 2 | Maidenhead Utd | |
| Henry (15) Wall (16) |
572 |
||||
| Eastleigh | 4 | - | 0 | Sutton Utd | |
| Bubb (33) Bubb (51) Bubb (63) Scannell (83) |
859 |
||||
| Farnborough | 1 | - | 0 | Basingstoke | |
| Page (91) |
411 |
||||
| Havant and W | 2 | - | 2 | Hampton & Richmond | |
| Ramsey (36) Holland (77) |
Tarpey (02) Alabi (68) |
645 |
|||
| Truro City | 2 | - | 1 | Staines Town | |
| Watkins (74) Watkins (89) |
Nwokeji (66) |
512 |
|||
| Welling | 1 | - | 1 | Chelmsford | |
| Pires (44) |
Cornhill (15) |
779 |
|||
| Weston-S-Mare | 0 | - | 3 | Bromley | |
| Araba (02) Thomas (77) Joseph-Dubois (81) |
343 | ||||
| Pos | Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  |
Woking | 28 | 20 | 5 | 3 | 59 | 24 | 35 | 65 |
| 2 |  |
Dartford | 26 | 16 | 6 | 4 | 60 | 29 | 31 | 54 |
| 3 | |
Welling United | 27 | 15 | 6 | 6 | 55 | 36 | 19 | 51 |
| 4 | |
Chelmsford | 27 | 13 | 10 | 4 | 48 | 24 | 24 | 49 |
| 5 | |
Sutton United | 26 | 12 | 9 | 5 | 48 | 36 | 12 | 45 |
| 6 | |
Weston-S-Mare | 27 | 13 | 4 | 10 | 46 | 43 | 3 | 43 |
| 7 | |
Dorchester | 29 | 12 | 6 | 11 | 39 | 39 | 0 | 42 |
| 8 | |
Dover | 26 | 10 | 11 | 5 | 41 | 27 | 14 | 41 |
| 9 | |
Basingstoke Town | 25 | 10 | 8 | 7 | 40 | 31 | 9 | 38 |
| 10 | |
Eastleigh | 26 | 10 | 5 | 11 | 34 | 37 | -3 | 35 |
| 11 | |
Truro City | 27 | 10 | 5 | 12 | 43 | 50 | -7 | 35 |
| 12 | |
Tonbridge Angels | 26 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 45 | 47 | -2 | 34 |
| 13 | |
Boreham Wood | 25 | 9 | 5 | 11 | 29 | 38 | -9 | 32 |
| 14 | |
Maidenhead United | 28 | 9 | 5 | 14 | 35 | 51 | -16 | 32 |
| 15 | |
Salisbury City | 25 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 34 | 35 | -1 | 31 |
| 16 | |
Havant and Waterlooville | 25 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 39 | 40 | -1 | 30 |
| 17 | |
Farnborough | 27 | 8 | 5 | 14 | 37 | 56 | -19 | 29 |
| 18 | |
Eastbourne Borough | 26 | 7 | 6 | 13 | 40 | 49 | -9 | 27 |
| 19 | |
Bromley | 27 | 6 | 7 | 14 | 39 | 55 | -16 | 25 |
| 20 | |
Hampton & Richmond | 26 | 5 | 8 | 13 | 37 | 47 | -10 | 23 |
| 21 | |
Staines Town | 26 | 6 | 5 | 15 | 28 | 44 | -16 | 23 |
| 22 | |
Thurrock | 27 | 3 | 7 | 17 | 22 | 60 | -38 | 16 |
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