What's The Point?: Dover 0-1 Hampton

Right, I'll have to be blunt and honest here. I'm only going to write this blog because I have written one for every game this season and thus it would be heart-breaking to break that trend, even though I currently have about the same enthusiasm for life as a criminal on death row. Yep, another complete and utter dud at Crabble as our players responded to our horror show against Staines with another complete and utter turgid performance.

I fucking hate mid-week home games and always have done, even when we had our scintillating winning days under the poison dwarf Hessenthaler. Living in Herne Bay it has always been a massive pain in the arse but thankfully Reg's kindness in giving me lifts home has prevented me from getting home at silly o'clock via train. But still, even with us only 3 points away from the play-offs and this being our game in hand to go level in points with Chelmsford, I really wasn't looking forward to the prospect. My instincts were right.

This was another one of those games where I promised myself that I wouldn't touch a drop of alcohol  but once again failed. Seeing as my good pal Russell is now back for a few weeks from uni, I arranged to get picked up from his scummy home town of Aylesham and he drove us into Dover for a swift one in the Old Endeavour. For some reason he was playing a "best of Rihanna" CD in his car although he tried to claim that it was his girlfriend's. Liar.

So we arrived in the OE at a very good time, just before happy hour was finishing. Obviously as a sensible driver he only had a half although I tried to claiming that it was because he only has the capability of drinking that without chundering. I of coursed had a pint of my beloved stella act-a-twat, that went down so smooth and fastly that I don't think it even touched the sides.
We werent here for long. There were only a handful of fellow youngouns about including Josh, Camilla, Alex, Jared and Fat Capello (Martyn). The main talking point here was a big argument that was breaking out on facebook between a couple of Dover fans over how the club is being run. It was quite funny to see some of it turn personal!

So Russell drove some of us to fortress Crabble (chortle) thus saving us the excruciatingly long walk that it takes from the Endeavour. And we arrived there with enough time for another pint, even though I promised myself I would only have the one. Predictably, by the time half-time came I was on my third! Typical. For those who aren't drove to drink and smoke copious amounts by watching DAFC then I doff my Nike TN cap off to you.

I don't need to go into too much detail regarding the game of soccer at Crabble. The highlights are there if you fancy having a laugh at our expense or you couldn't/couldn't be arsed to turn up to the game. Personally I can never brave the highlights when we lose especially when it is a dire encounter like Tuesday night was.

Basically the game was a mini-replica of Saturday but without being so dire defensively. Although we did manage to give a soft goal away mid-way through the first half which Ruiz should have done better with.
Instead of coming out all guns blazing with a point to prove, we reverted back to our shitty hoofball to our forwards, none of who can win a header between them. Shane Huke was one of the main culprits as usual and I'm still puzzled at what he's meant to bring to the side. Phil Starkey remains a complete liability at right-back but looked one of our most inventive players coming forward. Maybe he is playing at the wrong position?

In the second half we were marginally better but we never really managed to test their wanker goalkeeper. This was a side that up until this game has kept TWO clean sheets all season, both against Maidenhead. Our best chance fell to Billy Bricknell when sub Rob Edmans played a delightful ball through to him but he fluffed his lines. Other than that, our  closest attempts were Bazza Cogan narrowly driving the ball wide and the same player then had a curling effort easily saved.
The contest was ruined a bit by Hampton's negative time-wasting tactics once they took the lead and a ginger cunt of a referee eager to fall for their antics. He enjoyed getting the yellow card out of his pocket (I think he booked 8 players in total even though there were no meaningful challenges in the entire game!)
But no complaints at Hampton. They're fighting for survival and did what they needed to do, we just simply did not have the creative ability to break them down.

That may be in part due to really missing Dixon who seems to a be a bit of a sicknote. Billy Bricknell was off-the-pace for most the evening despite trying hard. George Purcell looks completely burned out at the moment and quite clearly needs a rest. Walker was inneffective and doesn't bring much to the team. Simmonds was pretty quiet until looking lively late on. Oh yeah, he actually hit the outside of the crossbar so that was another effort at their goal!
But the main problem as usual was being completely over-run in midfield with neither Cogan or Southam really doing much. I know Cogan is made to be a bit of a scapegoat but he never gets stuck in enough, he simply does not bring enough to the team. On his day I think "Oh, maybe I'm wrong" but you could probably only count a handful of games this season when he's been on song. Why Forster persists with a 4-2-4 at home when it clearly never works is beyond me.

So thats now zero points from our last two games against the 20th and 21st positioned teams, scoring zero goals and conceding 5. Four points would have put us in a play-off spot. We simply go missing when the going gets tough so some of the players clearly do not have the ability or attitude to remain with us next season.

Walking back to his car, me and Reg both agreed that this season can't finish soon enough. Theres the Euros to look forward to aswell as the olympics and I've just had enough really. I was saying to him, "How many times this season have you enjoyed a game at Crabble or think we've played really well" you'd probably be able to count the amount on one hand.

Its alarming how downhill everything has gone. An absolutely pitiful crowd of 525 turned out for this one. We were getting better crowds for midweek games when we got relegated from the ryman premier. A crowd that low would have been unthinkable a few years ago. Now its a harsh reality. How many are going to turn up for the visit of Boring fucking Wood on Saturday? We'll get 650 tops.
A combination of many factors are to blame. Theres the utter bilge we have been subjected to on the pitch over the past few seasons which is a key one obviously. We've been spoiled to go from having a team we strongly identified with and had a major winning mentality to one that just look happy to be picking up their wage at the end of the day. This is partly due to the massive expectations Parmenter has given us with the budget we have. I feel sorry for him really. For all his faults, none of this under-performing on the pitch is his fault and he must be wondering what the fuck he is doing at times.

But he needs to stop alienating the supporters and try and win back the local community. That reminding supporters of ground regulations on the website was an utter piss-take and a joke. To coincide with this we had a load of bonehead steward thugs constantly staring at us to stop us from swearing. I'd like to watch the game in comfort, thanks.
Anyway, this argument has been done to death so theres no point dragging it out even further on here.

Then theres the atmosphere. Crabble has been a fucking morgue for the majority of the past few seasons. When theres only 10 or so of you trying to sing then you lose the will to live. Its OK for a few randomers to question the singing support on the club forum but nobody bothers to join in. What's the point?

So yeah, overall things are not looking good at La Crabble. A big re-think and overhaul is urgently required.

The only positives of the night were the 'banter' (yes I fucking hate the word but can't think of an alternative) on the terraces. Steven King was back for after quite a few games absense and he always provided good entertainment. The back and forth piss-taking with was-Charlton-But-Now-Dover fan Malcolm was a joy to behold. Lots of "I've spaffed on your sisters tits' references to boot.

Right then, another life-sucking borefest against the club I would happily see go out of existance, Boring fucking Boreham Wood, who have already dicked us twice at their place this season. Obviously I'm not really looking forward to it other than getting absolutely twatted to numb the misery of another defeat, especially when taking into consideration they thrashed Eastleigh 6-1 defeat. So once we've suffered another feeble loss on Saturday, could somebody please point me kindly to the white cliffs of Dover so I can throw myself off of it. Thank you.

Tuesday 27 Mar 2012
Eastbourne Borough	2	-	1	Thurrock
Rowe (17)  Watson (88)			Knight (58)		557
Dover	0	-	1	Hampton & Richmond
			Tarpey (33)		525

BLUE SQ SOUTH TABLE - MARCH 28 2012

Pos		Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	Pts
1		Woking	36	25	6	5	75	34	41	81
2		Dartford	35	22	7	6	80	35	45	73
3		Welling United	36	21	7	8	72	45	27	70
4		Sutton United	36	18	12	6	62	48	14	66
5		Chelmsford	36	17	10	9	61	37	24	61
6		Dover	36	15	13	8	55	40	15	58
7		Basingstoke Town	35	15	10	10	53	43	10	55
8		Tonbridge Angels	36	14	10	12	61	55	6	52
9		Dorchester	36	14	7	15	51	55	-4	49
10		Boreham Wood	35	13	9	13	51	50	1	48
11		Weston-S-Mare	36	14	5	17	54	65	-11	47
12		Eastleigh	36	13	7	16	50	56	-6	46
13		Farnborough	36	13	6	17	46	66	-20	45
14		Salisbury City	35	11	10	14	43	47	-4	43
15		Eastbourne Borough	35	11	9	15	50	56	-6	42
16		Truro City	36	12	6	18	56	70	-14	42
17		Maidenhead United	36	10	8	18	39	62	-23	38
18		Bromley	36	8	12	16	46	61	-15	36
19		Havant and Waterlooville	35	8	11	16	56	66	-10	35
20		Hampton & Richmond	34	8	11	15	47	59	-12	35
21		Staines Town	36	9	8	19	43	57	-14	35
22		Thurrock	36	4	10	22	30	74	-44	22