Good news: As a result it means I still have too much time on my hands and have no excuse not to bore you all to death with my inane blog posts after every Dover game.
So I can crack on with my exciting account of our opening day disappointment versus arguably the biggest non-league club in Surrey, Farnborough.
Yep, that gutting job set-back on the eve of the new season didn't put me in the most excited of moods for our season opener. But after waking up to a boiling blue sky and eating a few pieces of mexicana cheese on toast, the prospect of beers, shorts, sun, sex and a new football season on the horizon that disappointment was firmly put into the back of my mind and I couldn't wait to get the first beer down my nozzle.
Better news was that Uncle Jonny Snell was making the trip down from Milton Keynes for the weekend so I eagerly awaiting his arrival. Sadly, he decided he's too much of a pussy these days and didn't want go out until at least midday so I planned life without him and instead left my house at 10:20 with another lard-arse, Jason McFarlane, to embark on a trip to one of the shittest and grottiest pubs in our fine town - the workies.
It was to my relief that for some reason it wasn't open at half 10 in the morning so instead we just set off to our favourite pre-match haunt - the old endeavour - which had been secretly opened thanks to the persistence of Fish and Champ, who had arrived out even earlier than us.
There's nothing quite like hanging out in a beer garden in the blazing sun, supping cheap lager like its water with all your football mates while soaking up the pre-match buzz, is there? And that's what we spent a whole solid 3 hours doing. The weather was so good - almost too good. Nearly everyone was decked out in shorts and most people had their shirts off. Which made me remark about how Jim Parmenter should get Dover fans to make a money-spinning topless calender which will have all the female Dovorians foaming at the gash at the sight of middle-aged, pot-bellied non-league weirdos.
From my beer-fuelled memory though nothing particularly note worthy occured, just mainly consisted of the inane conversations about women, football and life, that sort of shit. A load of us bombed into Bryan Hall's cramped removal van for a lift to the ground at about 13:40, which was quite funny unsuccessfully trying to not fall over and bump into sides.
As we exited the van at the car park, we awaited a few minutes for the arrival of Booster, who had a couple of bottles of jaigermeister in his van along with several energy drinks and plastic cups. So about 12 of us just huddled round his car and polished off a whole bottle within about two minutes before suggesting we save the other bottle for the next home game as we were already pretty fucked at this point.
The Centre Spot was pretty healthily busy again with plenty of people taking advantage of the £1.95 pints and ESPN/Sky Sports football with Leeds v Wolves being screened much to the joy of dirty filthy 2CW Leeds scum like Alex Wilshaw. I used up my two free oranjeboom vouchers that I had earned last week at the Margate game for necking 6 pints. Mark Culley had somehow accumulated 5 vouchers last week, which was the equivalent of buying 15 pints!
I'm not a fan of oranjeboom really but I do feel obliged to show loyalty to the club after they have made the effort to address many of the fans concerns from last season regarding the CS. It really baffles me that its only 3.9% because it feels so much heavier than that and I can already sense that its going to do a lot of damage to me this season.
The non-slow drinkers like myself made our way onto the Doverport terrace ten minutes before kick off and started belting out all the famous Jollyboy terrace anthems in true spectacular style. We'd really began to find our rhythm and then BANG, the idiotic Farnborough team thought it would be a funny idea to switch ends upon winning the toss. Why opposition players do this I don't know. It could possibly be that they know that a second half barrage at the River End is an intimidating prospect for even the most strongest willed players and thus be a petty attempt to unsettle us. Either way I'd like this toss to be sorted out before kick off so we don't have to waste the first few minutes walking around the ground.
Anyway, in terms of team news Ricky Modeste and Mitch Walker start the season with a two match ban after fighting each other in a Eastbourne v Chelmsford match at the end of last season. A rather bold move saw Chris Sessegnon preferred over Jamie Smith on the right flank, with Bazza Cogan going out to the left side. Last season's Player of the season Tom Wynter was left on the bench in favour of Lloyd Harrington, who has impressed since breaking into the first team. Billy Bricknell was chosen to partner Willock up front with concerns over Dixon's and May's fitness levels and Daniel Webb was selected over Steve Watt to partner Ian Simpemba at the back.
While in terms of Farnborough's team news, we benefited from the news that their may goal threat Dave Tarpey had been ruled out through injury and unless I completely missed something, there was no place in their squad for Jacek Madgenzski, who had been trialling with us through most of the summer.
So, a good opportunity to open the campaign with an easy home win against one of the less fancied sides, right?
Well, that looked like it would be the case after a blustering first half performance that saw us go into the break with a 2 goal cushion against a Farnborough side that looked woefully inept, being both frail at the back and toothless in every attempt they went forward.
It was a new Dover signing that would be the unlikely star of the first half; Sessesgnon. I kept telling everyone that I really didn't rate him from what I had seen in pre-season and that he'll probably turn out to be a flop.
That could still turn out to be the case but their are stronger signs I could be made to eat a nice slice of humble pie after he was heavily involved in both our goals. The first, about 20 minutes he, he threaded a lovely through ball down the right hand side for Bricknell to latch onto. Bill carried the ball into the box, skipped past a defender before teeing the ball off to Sessegnon arriving into the box. He neatly buried it into the bottom left corner to make an already loud River End even more buoyant.
Then on the 35 minute mark he turned from goalscorer to provider. Being released down the right hand side and bearing in on goal, he slightly over-ran the ball as the goalkeeper closed in but he unselfishly played the ball across to his right which my favourite player Bazza Cogan collected and gratefully finished off the piss-easy chance. 2-0! Easeh, easeh easeh.......
We should have had added a third before half-time as Willock was sent through on goal. As he skipped past goalkeeper Craig Bradshaw, he cynically tripped him over. Some people have argued that he was going away from goal but for me this was easily a clear goalscoring opportunity. He would have either have closed in on goal and probably tapped in or squared it to a team-mate to finish off. The fact the referee didn't even entertain the idea of giving more than a yellow card was a joke.
Normally I think I'm pretty impartial when it comes to discussing referee decisions regarding Dover matches, as I'm pretty sure I would have argued the same case for Farnborough had it been the same situation in their court. I think the referee bottled the decision because we were leading 2-0 and cruising at this point.
You can decide for yourselves. Around 4:30 into the video for any non-Dovorians that are reading.
Amazingly I stuck to my guns about not going into the bar until half-time with the temptation lingering of watching the remaining few minutes on the screens in the CS. But it seems like if you want to get a half-time pint at a reasonable time then you're gonna have to arrive there a few minutes early anyway because there are still only 3 bar staff to deal with the huge demand. Luckily I was sneaky cunt that gave Mark Miller at the front of the queue some money for a pint so I didn't have to wait too long.
At half-time I exchanged a few texts with a Woking and Sutton fan that I know, telling them that Farnborough are 'so shit and if we don't win this game then there is something seriously wrong with us'. And it turned out there is.....
At half-time I exchanged a few texts with a Woking and Sutton fan that I know, telling them that Farnborough are 'so shit and if we don't win this game then there is something seriously wrong with us'. And it turned out there is.....
Farnborough looked like seriously relegation candiadates in the first half. Any time they had possession they'd launch a long aimless ball into Lee Hook's grateful clutches and they looked so liable at the back. But after half-time there was a complete reverse from both sides and we struggled against them in the sweltering heat.
It was in our midfield where we were mainly overrun. Steve Thomson, who had completely bossed the game in the first half, showed signs of tiredness and wasn't helped by the non existant cover and tracking from Barry Cogan. The inclusion of Lloyd turned out to be a mistake and he was given a torrid time at left-back position, and was duly replaced by Wynter after his poor marking led to their first goal.
Which came about 20 minutes into the second half. A deep cross from the far left-side and non-existent marking allowed their player to ghost in and head past a helpless Lee Hook. It was quite an aesthetically pleasing goal to the eye though if I am honest.
This should have been the wake -up call we needed but instead we sat a bit too deep and invited them on too much. We seemed to resort to long balls up towards Willock who, while strong, wins headers and holds the ball up well, is also one of our main goal threats and he received little support for all his hard work and endeavour.
Farnborough completed their turnaround 10 minutes from time from the penalty spot. Ian Simpemba gave away a very soft penalty by tripping one of their players just inside the box, although looking at the highlights it looks suspicously on the edge. At the time of the game I thought it was a free-kick we had given away. There didn't seem to be a too many appeals and it was such an annoying, frustrating and sickening way to surrender three points which we should have easily have closed out. But we didn't adapt ourselves to Farnborough's improved second half tactics and Forster perhaps was too late in making his substitutions.
We did press for a winner after the equaliser and almost grabbed one but for a suplex reflex save from Bradshaw after Sessegnon's close range shot. We huffed and puffed and created a few half-chances but we left it too late for ourselves and our disappointment was confirmed. We did increase our unbeaten open day record to a whopping 11 seasons but sadly not in the way we would have liked. If we want to cement ourselves as serious challengers this season then we need to be picking up 3 points in these kind of fixtures, no disrespect intended to Farnborough who probably deserved their point based on the second half.
I overreacted and sulked for quite a while after the game but there were plenty of positives to take out of the game. Sessegnon showed us what he's capable of and we created plenty of chances in the first half. Part of our second half performance was hindered by struggling to hold out in the boiling conditions although that was a factor for both sides. We still have a number of players still to return into the team and we have got another 41 games ahead of us.
I overreacted and sulked for quite a while after the game but there were plenty of positives to take out of the game. Sessegnon showed us what he's capable of and we created plenty of chances in the first half. Part of our second half performance was hindered by struggling to hold out in the boiling conditions although that was a factor for both sides. We still have a number of players still to return into the team and we have got another 41 games ahead of us.
But the worrying signs were that that game just reeked of last season. Failing to see out an easy game at home and a lack of pace in the middle and back of the park. We need to adapt, learn quickly and improve on that but thankfully we have got plenty of time to do that. Onwards and upwards.
Crowd of 809 was slightly disappointing although it seemed like there quite a few more than that. The hot weather is as beneficial as it is a disadvantage in terms of getting people through the turnstile, IMO. But we did make a good amount of noise through large chunks of the game.
So I stormed off to the bar immediately after the game's conclusion and refused to talk for a bit as we sat around the tables. But then it suddenly dawned on me: 'I am wankered and I am used to disappointment and shit non-league football. Get over yourself you fat fucking prick' and that's exactly what I did.
So I stormed off to the bar immediately after the game's conclusion and refused to talk for a bit as we sat around the tables. But then it suddenly dawned on me: 'I am wankered and I am used to disappointment and shit non-league football. Get over yourself you fat fucking prick' and that's exactly what I did.
It was quite funny actually. Evidently I was not the only one that was shit-faced and everyone started singing random songs at our players. Leigh Pidds being the main perpetrator, belting out "There's only one Andy Makin" when Jim Parmenter walked past. (Andy is currently serving a lifelong ban at Crabble after his harsh banning. Jim did not look too impressed).
Ricky Modeste received his rendition of "He's Ricky Modeste. Better than all the rest. Better than anyone. Anyone I've ever met". And I made Tom Axford feel at home by giving him his own song.
I also kept repeatedly pointing to Russell about how fit Steven Watt's missus is and he emphatically agreed. Its worth venturing in the CS just to see her.
After a few jars we headed off back to the endeavour, via dovitos chip shop where I quickly scoffed a small portion of chips. They had a karaoke evening starting at 8PM so we hung around there for a while and this is just a total blur from here onwards. Absolutely sloshed. I vaguely remembering murdering some Oasis song (can't even remember which one) before wandering off home and quickly scoffing a chinese takeaway.
But I wasn't done there. As I've failed to mention so far, it was Russell's birthday last Thursday so we were meant to be going out in the evening. True to my word, with fuck all left in the wallet and nearly completely dead, I headed out to meet him and a few others.
The main highlight here was repeatedly telling Reanne Solly that she has a cracking pair of tits and repeatedly poking them in my usual classy manner. (Reanne is a good-looking girl that used to regularly come to Dover games a few seasons back but rarely does anymore). And she has developed a smashing pair of tits.
But my night ended when we moved onto the Firkin. For some reason their bar staff decided against serving me alcohol and at that point I realised it was my call to get home and hit the sack. Fantastic blur of a day only dampened by the failure to collect all 3 points.
So we move onto Sutton tomorrow evening which I am very much looking forward to. Its a real test for us against one of the sides expected to be up there although they started the season in defeat against Basingstoke. Hopefully our strong away form carries on into this season as me, John Snell and Chris Hunt are going to get fuelled up on weak lager before the game in Surrey on Tuesday night. Can't wait.
See you all there, look after yourselves and thanks for reading.
See you all there, look after yourselves and thanks for reading.
| Saturday 18 Aug 2012 | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Basingstoke | 2 | - | 1 | Sutton Utd | |
 Holder-Spooner (44) Sills (68) | Dundas (39) |  424 | |||
| Billericay | 2 | - | 1 | Truro City | |
Wild (22) Wild (49 og ) May (56) Lechmere (88) | 402 | ||||
| Boreham Wood | 3 | - | 0 | Eastleigh | |
| Montgomery (36) Effiong (56) Riza (67) | 204 | ||||
| Bromley | 0 | - | 0 | Staines Town | |
| 483 | |||||
| Dorchester | 2 | - | 1 | Eastbourne Borough | |
| Ward (88) Reid (91) | Knight (65) | 447 | |||
| Dover | 2 | - | 2 | Farnborough | |
| Sessegnon (23) Cogan (36) | Bennet (65) Page (80) | 809 | |||
| Havant and W | 1 | - | 1 | Chelmsford | |
| Palmer (91) | Slabber (48) | 273 | |||
| Maidenhead Utd | 3 | - | 1 | Tonbridge Angels | |
| Semakula (39) Behzadi (65) Pratt (91) | Collin (47) | 304 | |||
| Salisbury | 2 | - | 1 | AFC Hornchurch | |
| White (60) Brett (84) | Tuohy (45) | 663 | |||
| Welling | 1 | - | 1 | Bath City | |
| Lafayette (58) | Brown (21) | 479 | |||
| Weston-S-Mare | 1 | - | 1 | Hayes & Yeading | |
| Kirk (66) Ingram (07) | Oyenuga (38) Williams (69) | 550 | |||
| Pos | Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | Boreham Wood | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 3 |
| 2 |  | Maidenhead United | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 3 | | Basingstoke Town | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| 4 | | Billericay Town | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| 5 | | Dorchester | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| 6 | | Salisbury City | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| 7 | | Dover | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 1 |
| 8 | | Farnborough | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 1 |
| 9 | | Bath City | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 10 | | Chelmsford | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 11 | | Havant and Waterlooville | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 12 | | Hayes & Yeading | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 13 | | Welling United | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 14 | | Weston-S-Mare | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 15 | | Bromley | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 16 | | Staines Town | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 17 | | Hornchurch | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | -1 | 0 |
| 18 | | Eastbourne Borough | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | -1 | 0 |
| 19 | | Sutton United | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | -1 | 0 |
| 20 | | Truro City | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | -1 | 0 |
| 21 | | Tonbridge Angels | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 | -2 | 0 |
| 22 | | Eastleigh | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | -3 | 0 |
No comments:
Post a Comment