Sleeping Beauty : Lewes 2-1 DAFC [PSF]

Saturdays pre-season outing to our Sussex friends Lewes FC, managed by ex Dover supreme  midfielder Simon Wormull, provided another great day out on the piss to prepare ourselves for the new season. This was the friendly that stood out for a few of us and was earmarked for its potential and it didn't disappoint. 

After much discussion on the forum we all opted on catching the 08:44 train from Dover Priory, a wise decision it turned out to be despite sceptics complaining it was too early to be arriving 11AM somewhere for a PSF. In fact I would have preferred and extra hour there in hindsight!

My Sister and Dad decided they were making appearances for the game so I did a reasonable job of convincing Jess to make me and Fish a fried breakfast in the morning. I'm not overly keen on the cafeterias that Dover has to offer [Beanos is shit and Jermaine's has gone massively downhill] so this was the perfect decision. She expertly cooked us pork and apple sausages, egg, beans, bacon, black pudding, mushrooms and potato waffles while I put my fine cookery skills to good use by making some lovely greasy fried bread.

Would not look out of place on masterchef. 

You can see the trembling of excitement in his face.

Certainly turned out to be a magnificient idea from moi, it went down a treat and set the stomach wall up well for the barrage of real ale that my body would have to stomach throughout the day. With this being Lewes, the home of Harveys and a town ideal for bearded CAMRA clique wankers, I decided I'd stay clear of the fizzy lager shit and stick to the so called 'proper stuff'.

Thanks to Dads generosity he gave me a few bottles of ale for the train; titanic iceberg, humdinger and marton's double drop. Which I would be able to enjoy in the company of Russell, Jared, Phil Smith, Neil, Doddy, Ryan Reid, Class A Colin, Chris Collings and Carl Van Der Veen, who had all turned out for the occasion. 13 of us was a reasonable train turnout for a run-of-the-mill friendly when you consider many people are still saving for the proper season/skint/playing cricket/working over-time. But I can't help but think a few missed out by not joining the brilliance of Lewes, particularly when you consider its only a tenner on a train group-save.

It was pretty low-key journey up for most of it. We had to change at Ashford where the trains would go direct to Lewes. That might be alright but you when you have to do so on a two-carriage train throughout the 90 minute journey. This train journey is always fucking rammed but they can only operate this line of two-cart trains. Why? Because some of the tinpot train stations apparently are not big enough for four carriages, which even then would still not be big enough to seat the amount of passengers on there. Which begs the question; why the fuck do they not extend the platforms considering the amount of engineering works they love to have?

Not that I can complain too much - we were all seated on tables and I enjoyed the benefit of some really, really fit girl having to stand right near me. Got to have a good inspection of her arse and according to Russell she was caught smiling at one of my famous quips (which clearly means that she wanted to fuck me too).

It was quite a dragged out journey with barely anything memorable occurring until we were edging closer to Brighton. Ryan Reid - who you may remember from previous blogs for being a 'bit special' (he has ADHD and works @Iceland with Phil) began playing Blur's Parklife pretty loudly from his phone. Then whenever the chorus came up he would start shouting 'Parklife' pretty loudly before chuckling away to himself. One of those things that is quite embarrassing, annoying but overall can't help but find it funny and love him for his mannerisms.

Well prepared, fine choices.

Such a colourful bunch.

Then when we got off of the train he started calling out "we're Dover, we do what we want and we don't give a fuck" while everybody told him to shut the fuck up and keep his noise down, in no uncertain terms. Personally I find his behaviour quite endearing and entertaining - he means no harm - even if he gets very irritating after a while!

We dodged a few of the less appealing pubs near the station and walked into town, finding a pub called the John Harvey Tavern slightly off one of the back-streets. With the sun out, all of us bought a pint of ale - even the younger lager drinkers that are usually avert to it like Doddy. Most of us started on the Olympian golden ale which was very light and refreshing.

But sadly a few dark clouds started to surface after a while and while it remained warm enough, it wasn't the boiling weather that was predicted and hoped for. I decided against changing into my AEK Aethens shorts that I had brought along with me.

I drunk another half pint of that olympian ale before leaving but was more impressed with the more expensive pint of Tom Paine I had supped in between. It wasn't weak at 5.5% but it didn't taste too heavy either, and was full of nice flavour. The only ales I can't stomach are the ones that are too dark/black. 

Doddy sporting the most hideous, tight, chino-short things which he has hopefully disposed of since then.

This poster on the toilet wall was mildly amusing.

After spending long in here than we had anticipated, we wandered off to the next one which was one we had visited last time we were in town; The Gardeners Arms. This is a small, compact cracking little pub that sells a vast selection of ales and ciders. Its a bit rickety but has plenty of character and worth a drink in. My first ale here wasn't particularly up to much though - a Brighton blonde which was a bit pale and tasted a bit nutty, but thankfully the follow up pint of Full Moon Celestial was superb and one of the better pints of the day.

We also bumped into a rarity in here - a Lewes fan proudly sporting his replica shirt. The majority of shirts we saw around the town centre were Brighton & Hove Albion ones, unsurprisingly given the proximity between the two towns. Its a shame Lewes don't garner more support though because they're a cracking non-league club.
Anyway, this bloke seemed a bit weird from what I vaguely remember - but what else do you expect from a non-league supporter?

Photo of the day!

With this Russell mugshot being a close runner up.....

After here we set off to our next pub which we only stopped in briefly which was named the White Hart Hotel. Why did we go in here? Because Phil had seen a programme of some hotels and this particular one featured on the programme. He wanted to get his 5 seconds on fame here with the celebrity landlady, whom apparently came across as a rude. I could be talking complete bollocks here but I think that was the story...

Anyway, we only stopped off for a half of Harveys best bitter here as they didn't have a wide variety of beers; it was a bit more main-stream in here. More of a modern pub with fruit machines, pool table and darts, which was in vast contrast to our previous two.

But time was slightly running out here and I was keen to move onto the Brewers Arms, a pub that had been recommended to me by a Barrow fan (Hi Dave) and my dad had already earmarked it himself. 

And a thoroughly good choice it was too, with the pint of Crown And Glory I sank in there being my pint of the day. I had a pint of something else before it as well but I can't fucking remember the bloody name of it, even after scouring through their website.

Can't remember much about the decor in here though, although I do recall spending quite a lot of time in their bog squeezing out a sizeable log.

As always the time surpassed way too quickly with the annoyance of kick-off approach so we headed off to the brilliantly named Dripping Pan which was right back next to the train station. I didn't even know it was situated so close to it which makes it an even finer away day.

The Dripping Pan is one of my favourite non-league grounds or maybe even my favourite overall. I love it - its so strange and full of character. The ground had been built on big banks of grass and one of the sides it just a bank of grass which has a pavement at the top which you can stand on. The stand you enter the ground from is a bit covered terraced with plenty of room, only problem is that you cannot see the corner flag action on the right because the club bar is situated right next to it and obstructs the view! Then theres an uncovered terrace behind the other goal and on the other side there is a smart seated stand. Its truly a great ground and I'm not fond of many - I'm quite fussy when it comes to football grounds.

My lovely Dad somewhere on the top right amongst all the masses.

A non-league club bar epitomized.

I was stupid enough to not take as many photos as I should have done so I've had to pinch this one off of google.

The best thing about this being a meaningless friendly and not having anything riding it on it? Admission prices being reduced to a fiver. I think I still went in as a student, being the tight cheap-skate bastard that I am. 

Another positive was the ability to be able to drink on the terraces. We heard from that Lewes fan in the pub that drinking had been banned last season because of some wankers from Wealdstone (surprise, surprise - the biggest set of cunts in NL football) caused some  trouble there. But I think they re-instated it this season for the friendlies after popular demand, which meant I could drink more pints of Harveys on the terraces. 

And it was a fucking good job that this was only a friendly because we were fucking awful. Well, for the first twenty minutes we were anyway. Some awful goalkeeping by Lee Hook being miles out of position contributed to their second, doing no favours for anyone calling for him to be our number 1 this season. It was a poorly defended corner that allowed them a free header for the first. Both of these coming within the opening 15 minutes, which might be cause for concern against a weaker side that had played Crystal Palace only the previous evening.

But we picked up after that in the early set-back and enjoyed most of the first half proceedings, with Dean Rance's effort somehow staying out after cannoning off of the inside of the post. Ricky Modeste looks like he'll cause teams a lot of problems this season. Our triallist on the left-wing, some scouser I believe, didn't really contribute much and looked quite nervous. Its probably worth giving him another look though.

It wasn't until half-way through the first half that me (and a few others) realised that Simon Wormull was playing for Lewes. We kept shouting at the touchline for the Dover legend to give us a wave, which was quite embarrassing. We eventually got one in the second half though after he had subbed himself. I think he enjoyed his warm reception from us.

The second half was cool, the sun really came out and the non-obese Dover fans (IE Everyone but not me) got to watch the game with their shirts off, the lucky gits. I managed to drunkenly nick a ball at half-time which had been booted behind the goal. They didn't notice. Neither did I until I woke up in the morning! 

It was a fairly poor turnout from us though - probably only about 40-50 Dover there. I know its a friendly and understandable given how boring they are. This one really was non-exciting even though triallist Jacek Mcpolishsurnamecantbearsedtolookupski crashed in a header to reduce the deficit. Fair play to him - 2 goals in 2 games - looks like he really wants to earn a contract.

 To be honest though I'm not overly convinced yet, he looks a bit like unpolished goods. Looks so uncompromising and awkward at times in an Elliot Charles manner. But he looks a handful nonetheless and could be a very useful addition to the squad. I'd like to see a bit more of him first though. 

Mind you, I gather this is an unpopular opinion amongst the Dover masses so I'm probably talking bollocks.

Anyway, this dull friendly ended at 2-1 and left us wondering if we'd have been better off staying in the pubs. Friendlies are so dull after you've been to the first - people like me just keep going to them out of habit more than anything and then just complain about how dull they are and how we want the real thing to start. With four more to go I'm already at that stage!

So back in the bar after this, killing some time until our 5:44PM train back to sunny Dover. Sadly our good friend Simon Wormull never turned up (or I was too pissed to notice) so I didn't get to have a chat unlike last time. Fish managed to get hold of some of the players food though by telling them that 'he's mates with Lee Hook on facebook and sometimes talks to him on chat" which they saw as a valid enough reason. 

As far as I remember here though I fucked off to the shop by the station, picked up a few cans of oranjeboom and big bag of sensations then setting off on that horrible 2 carriage train back to Ashford. Which as expected, was absolutely fucking rammed. This put me in a bad mood and I hate to wait quite a few stops before more space was available. The last thing I remember here was sitting on a bit where suitcases are normally placed.

Then somehow, I wake up  asleep in the middle of where the doors are and find a picture on facebook that's mocking me [quite unsurprisingly]. I had fallen into my old trick of getting very pissed and then passing out on the way home. Ah well.

......I'll allow you to insert your own caption for this classy moment.

Unfortunately I woke up rather grumpy and ended up in quite a heated verbal argument with Phil after lashing out at Reidy. I'm not sure why exactly, neither do I really care, but I was probably a tad of a cock and should express my apologies if this severely was the case. 

It was quite a bust-up though and for a while they were refusing to go to the Indian House [lovely curry house in Dover] if I was there and had not apologized/stopped being a cock. I eventually did the former, even though it wasn't sincere AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME because I fucking love a good curry and Phil manages to wrangle a banquet out of the owner because he knows him.

And fortunately we got on from here onwards and the petty argument was history (I think). So we all enjoyed a fucking delicious (and cheap) curry to cap off a fine away day (bar the falling asleep and being a cock phase). I went for my patterned Prawn Puri Chat for starter, while having a chilli garlic chicken for my main, a sag paneer for a side dish and Pishwari/Keema as my naan.

And I tell you what, absolutely fantastic. Sag paneer is the one of the nicest side dishes I've ever had and somehow the cheese and spinach combinations comes off fantastically. 

I could barely move at the end of it though, and hit the hay as soon as I finished the 3.7 minute walk to my house.
All that and a big bottler of Bangler only totalling to about £14 each, which given the quality of the food is daylight fucking robbery. One of the waitresses was fit as fuck too, nobody tried drunkenly flirting with her whatsoever.
This curry after an away day lark is quite a tradition for Phil & Co, I've not been able to join in until now though because of money/going to Herne Bay afterwards. But I hope to make it a regular occurrence.

Overall this was a fantastic day out and one that will be hard to emulate in the coming season in terms of pubs and drinking. Lewes really is one of my favourite towns - its got such a good mixture of modern and old school in the town centre and there is a lot of nice scenery to boot. The ground is one of my favourites and everything is close proximity. If there's such thing as a perfect ideal away day then this is it. I think I even prefer it to St Albans in all honesty.

The only real let down is the fucking 2 carriage trains which I'm sure I'll be back to moan about when we visit Eastbourne in between Boxing Day and NYD.

Once again, thanks for being a great audience and reading/skipping through this amount of tedium. I doubt I'll write any blogs on any remaining PSF's - the only away game left is Ebbsfleet and it is doubtful that I will bother with it given the expected trauma that will be occurring at Ebbsfleet International. Great to book an away game there in the middle of the fucking olympics - NOT! [mind you, no other Dovorians seems to be planning on going there anyway so if I go I'll be on my lonesome].

I'll be back on here before the season starts though. If any of you self-absorbed Dover fans out there fancy filling out one of those fan profile questionnaires then fill yer boots. But I'm looking forward to writing my big meaty season preview which will no doubt be clogged with inane cliched ill-researched bollocks! See you then.